30 years ago I decided I wanted to be a writer, had this great vision of fame and fortune, all of it tied to one of my greatest passions, writing. I can say that I have had a few things published, nothing of importance, not one thing that makes me hold my head up. I lost my vision only a few years ago, even after Beirut I still wanted to be a writer but age and shall we say a sourness on the world has smashed my vision.

I am not writing this for any to feel sorry for me, I am writing this so that maybe this will challenge me. I am one who thrives on challenge but I wilt like a rose in the summer heat without any challenges. My wife pushes me to write and I love her for that as well as the numerous other reasons, but I am losing the passion, the inner fire to put pen to paper for others amusement.

When I wrote Chained Soul, the post on my main page, it flowed out in a matter of minutes, driven by the passion and pain. The very same pain that is masking my imagination, some tell me to write about Beirut, some say write anything just get a paycheck. When I write about Beirut it takes me days to recover from just a few memories, the destruction that men can deal upon one another is a horrbile thing to witness. My heart is torn between wanting revenge and not harming another human being as long as I live.

Days will go by and I will write and post here but I am unable to continue the real work at hand because the challenge is wrapped in mental barb wire. The memories are buried deep but yet are some of the first I reach when trying to recall anything. During the day Beirut is thousands of miles away and at night it is in my bedroom.

I am notorious for typo's and not proof reading my work, you will see it and my wife points that out as well ( one more thing I love about her, she wants me to be perfect for my own good). I love to exchange ideas and even debate on any topic, so please visit our groups, join and post whats on your mind. I will leave one warning, don't attack my family or the soldiers fighting for our frredoms, I respond poorly to these.

I look forard to meeting all of you in the forums and hearing from you, good or bad talking is the raod to healing and maybe you all can help me get back my visions and maybe I can help you with anything that burdens you.



Steve