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April is Nat'l.Child Abuse Prevention Month/Welcome to Group Room for the hurt child inside you March 04, 2007 5:05 PM

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month!

I am putting on a Rally & Speakout in a small rural town in Montgomery County, Texas!

Check out my website:  http://warriorwomyn31.tripod.com/

Joinmy care 2 group:  http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/AHHHS

or email me if you would like some ideas on organizing!

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Well, here goes....(warning,trigger,adult material) Pertanant! March 20, 2007 2:15 PM

Journaling?...I wish I did that way back when...... 9:49 PM

I wish I had written down in  my (pretty pink Girls diary, with a brass little lock on it...it stayed empty..for years..!
When I grew up..but not so long ago...I still could not journal truth..and I would rip up some of the ones I did write in later years....too ashamed....but now I am letting the shame go and writing these days more and more...
This writing I just did last night.  Would have been the first page in my life's journal...I was about 5 years old...

I will be brave and post it here..I pray it will help ....
I know if I had kept a written diary...maybe some of the hurtful secrets and wounds would have not been so deep.
Somebody nosey would have read it..and maybe come to help me...

Here goes,
 
"Dear Journal, Help ....my mommie is at work...it is a dark afternoon..the apartment door has 4 locks on it..the shades are drawn..."He"just diapered my baby brother who just pee pee'd up in the air..(which made me giggle)

and then...took me by the hand ,and as I was being pulled behind him, he said something like,he was going to show me something....that I might be curious about....and I had to be quiet so as not to wake up my now sleeping baby brother..and so forth and so on..

this is what I could not..ever write..
 

              ~My little girl......"me"~

Like it was yesterday ) Adult material!! 4:19 PM 

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Blog: My little girl....me... 


Can you not see me?...

you are looking down into my eyes..

Do you not see the tears?

or..look at my face to see the shame?

I am a child...you are...

a grownup...and I am supposed to listen to you ...

Obey...you...

Trust you?...

I am just a girl...you are...

so much bigger then me...

Stronger, louder, and...

You are a man....

Men are  protectors?

You are hurting me...

I could squirm and fight ...I could...

but you hold me down...and I cannot move...

I cry..."Ouch...you're hurt..TING Me!!..

STOP..please?...please?"!

You shush me...tell me to be quiet...

You aren't done with me yet?...oh...how much longer?, I pray to you..

I can barely see your face;

But that big light on the ceiling hurts my eyes..

 I am so tiny, just such a little girl...

"I have to go wee!!...I have to go wee!".I cry to thee,...

First man I know..
 Aren't you the one who is supposed to love and protect me...

"ouh..ouch..oh it hurts...I burn...oh I ..it hurts can't you stop this burning...I?"...I plea...."I want my mommie! I want my mommie!"
huh?..you shout
"shut up!Don't you SAY ANYTHING!"Ever!

Whatdaya mean it won't hurt so much next time..? 
"um.. (gulp)...next...time?..

Why are you angry with me...what did I do wrong?...

What?..Why...?...are you saying...
Don't tell my mommie?.....or you'll ?......

Oh please..please...please don't hurt my mommie...I won't tell, I promise...I won't tell..I prom..isss!!

Cause it's ...a...a seec--... secret?....uh..mommie wouldn't..understa--?.um she'd get mad at me?...but you said ...this happens with little girls and all the...their d--


....what?... money for ice cream?....then ...you aren't mad at me.............da ...dee?...

Jandi (c)   Dated March 16,2007

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To that little girl...... March 20, 2007 5:45 PM

Jandi,

little one you are so brave to tell now.  I am glad you survived what you did.  You are a strong little girl and even tho I have not met you I am proud of you.  No matter what anyone ever told you or tells you you are not to blame.  A bad thing was done to you and  you might not understand but it was not your fault and you are a good little girl...  You see I know this for along time ago I too had had a secret I was told to keep, and when I grew up inside I was still litle... but one day I too had the courage to reach out for help and to tell...  Stay safe little one and remember you can make new nice memories.  I would like to be one of your friends.   



This post was modified from its original form on 20 Mar, 17:46  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Silent Acts March 20, 2007 5:49 PM


Silent Acts
By Victoria Ruth Kelly
Written on: 4/16/05

Sacrifice
The infant
Lust eats away
Innocence
Father owns
The child
Forcing screams
To go unknown
Tiny hands and feet
Opening of flesh
To feast
Unbelievable acts
No one wants
To acknowledge
Fearing Tortures
Power and Control
Silences the Victim
With no words to explain
Body’s Betrayal
Nighttimes Fear
Endless Struggles
Childhood Tears

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Who's A Prisoner? March 20, 2007 5:51 PM

Who's A Prisoner?

Do you know what it is like
To feel protected
Only in the presence
Of closed shades
And locked doors
And even then at times feel unsafe?

Daddy walks around
Going to wherever he may please.
I was once the prisoner,
Yet he still holds the keys.

The law says he can't harm me
And the time goes slowly by.
Do they know the torture that's still present
With every tear I cry?

I can't tell them how much
It hurts me
To know they let him roam.
Do they know I'm still imprisoned
In a place I should call home.

The law they say was made to protect me
And yet it's so unfair.
The victim waits and cries for justice
As abusers roam and breathe the air.


By Victoria R. Kelly
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Kicks and Carrots: POEM March 20, 2007 5:56 PM

Kicks and Carrots

You left your words
Scars imprinted on my mind.
You said you'd find me
Someday.

You weaved chains
Through spoken words
You left me weakened
From the punishment.
You said I'd love no man

After the memories
In your bed.

I was your prisoner.
You made me believe the words
Which you spoke.

I remember the story
You told about the mule:
If you want it to reach
Your destiny,
You put a carrot
In front of him
To lure him there...

If he still won't move,
Because he doesn't like carrots,
You get behind him
And kick!

You were the MASTER...
I was the mule.

You showed your power
By twisting stories
to fit your fantasies.

Carrots were the better times.
And yet, they hurt me too.
The kicks were very brutal

When the story unfolded...

Who would have stood beside me
If I had only taken the carrots?

And would I be alive today
If I'd only taken kicks?


Victoria R. Kelly
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to all... March 20, 2007 6:12 PM

A LITTLE BOOBOO

we are the queens and kings of the castle!

they are the dirty rascals!

in the kingdom high we surpass them...

the fodder for our feet to walk on

as heaven turns them into elements gone

in our kingdoms we live on 

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Oh M.G. Thank you dear ones... March 20, 2007 8:22 PM

Thank you dear dear ones....and please invite anyone who wishes to to come here and let it out.....This is a place I created for just that reason....Welcome....to the hurt child inside..come here, you will find safety, as you can see the comments above.

Blessings dear ones.

Jandi

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April is. National Child Abuse Awareness Month 5:31 PM March 22, 2007 5:34 PM

April is. National Child Abuse Awareness Month 5:31 PM

Event that I planned to read my poetry and celabrate the Start of National Child Abuse Awareness Month! WOW has it ever blossomed from there!! ...

http://www.care2.com/c2c/gettogether/3025

If you can't make it in person sign up to be there in Spirit! 

Can I count on all of your support? to pass to pass this on?

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