How if at all, does being poly affect your religion, or spirituality? complement, hinder? Many times lifesytles and Spirtual calling do not always match. Here is the area to discuss this.

it is obvious that some churches just don`t agree with poly....

You are right- and that type of conflict is what this area is for. Personally, much of my internal searching has little to do with my sexuality. But I have had quite a different experience then many I have met.

himarina well what does that mean are you a female bi or what?

you are correct I am bi.

...and we are taught to worship only one??

my lovemaking has always been a worshipful thing with me, my sexuality complementing my spirituality. this has had a most salutary effect on my interpersonal relationships.

Bob, it is good to hear that others have this attitude. It is harder to find. There are also so many opinions on sexuality and spirituality, not everyone has outlooks on both that work together.

Marina, the amazing thing to me is that it was not a conscious decision, nor even a conscious realization. It came to me over a period of time when I was reconsidering many aspects of my life, and the two meshed. An epiphany! No conflict twixt sexuality and spirituality - both reinforce and complement one another. It has worke dout well in all aspects of my life as well. My massage for example is very sensual, yet not sexual. I can, however, be professional when called for, but when with a friend or friends, I can let go...

Bob, that is a wonderful thing- currently, and for the last 2 years, I have been in the process of re-considering my life as well, fortunately for me, my sexuality is not one of the major issues in play J not everyone is this lucky.

Poly is an integral part of my spirituality and to try to seperate them is to destroy them. The truth is we are all one and the best way to become aware of it, celebrate it and bond is through poly connections Tom

To begin hello to everyone here! I think the opinions and the thoughtfulness put forth in here is great. Marina, we have spoke a good bit now and yes you are bi, lol. I can't help but add my bit of wisdom here to let you all or ya'll know that I consider myself to be trisexual, in that I will try most anything once and don't think twice if I like it. Ok there I said it once again have fun to all!

i am pagan, wiccan to be specific, and poly (bisexual). sex is a spiritual experience for me, and poly is a way of life that requires my partners to hold sex in such a high esteem as i do. good question! peace, lynne

I feel like a puppy with two tails to read your posts. I recently found through my spirituality that I am a poly. This is wreaking havoc with my 10 year mono relationship but it is so worth it. I am still mono as I haven't had the chance to be errr how would you say 'faithfully poly'. Damn honesty getting in the way of all the fun.

I was really shocked to find this out about me and I am a bit unsure of myself in this area. (Anyone in Oregon wanna ease me into a polyship? Ha Ha.)

It was an inoccent pursuit to begin with. I wanted to find unconditional love for myself. I forgave all my trespasses and became greatfull for all my faults and suddenly I just began to love me like I couldn't believe.

So after I would find myself on a bus or in a library and I would be filled with love, light and laughter. And I want to hug and dance and kiss with everyone I saw. And I mean everyone. It thrilled me and spooked me. So I put that Genie back in its lamp, I don't think I am ready to wield that kinda love. (Wanna rub my lamp? ha ha) 

So while talking with folks on a Yahoo group I ended up falling into a deep spiritual love for several of the people there. Oh goodness. Would you look at that? Seems I am bi as well.

Well crap, now I am a polybi livin' in a straightmono relationship and I don't think there is anyone who has EVER in the history of the world been in this place. ha ha (I am so glad I found yous guys)

Sarah's song keeps going through my mind; "Hold on, Hold on to yourself, this is gonna hurt like hell."  

So there's my story, I was looking for God and found myself, a young loving poly bi spiritual master waiting for the dance to begin.

Philip (To love me, love yourself) Berens

geez, if anything, investigating poly has kinda held my feet to the fire on honesty issues, anyway.

in my experience, polyamory just plain doesn't work long-term without honesty. a guy i know just got dumped because two months into the relationship he came out to her that he was bisexual. you need to be up front about these kind of things when you meet someone new who you want to date.

peace,

Lynne

I never really understood what Polyamory was and when I was dating my husband, he told me that he had a girlfriend in college who was poly.  He has asked me a couple of times during out marriage what I thought of it (always condemning it himself) and at first I didn't understand it so I thought it was for freaks and now I think it must be the most natural way of being. 

The most important things in the world to me are my kids and my spirituality. I am finding as I become more authentic, my capacity to love is far greater than what is moralistically and socially aceptable.  Recently, a friend led me to an article relating to spiritual communities that talked about polyamory and it gave me a comprehensive explaination that allowed me to understand what being Poly meant.

I feel like a woman who loves too much becasue my capacity to love is increasing.  In addition to that, it is becoming increasingly important for me to have the freedom to experience my sexuality as an expression of my spirituality.  I have not yet had any physical sexual experiences with anyone who I feel a deep spiritual connection with since I have been married, yet I am feeling that along with my spiritual growth, my marriage and the social norms are too confining for me. 

My husband is trying to meet me where my spirituality is taking me yet his fears are keeping him from freely allowing me to be who I am without severe conflict.  This changes daily though as I try to help him to understand that the more he tries to cage me, the greater my desire to leave him, the more he loosens his grip, the more I want to stay with him.

I believe that in the future when we release ourselves from our limiting thoughts and become a planet of spiritual beings having human experiences, we will naturally move into a place where polyamory is the norm.  Our institutions of marriage and the mentality of "I own you and you own me" is old and outdated.  It allows very little room for individual expression and spiritual growth. 

I hope to one day live in a society, in this lifetime where the accepted method of expression is whatever way feels most natural. To express our spirituality and EVERYONE feels free to participate in freely loving and expressing themselves naturally, even if I have to build this utopia myself.

as a man who's choked the life out of almost every relationship he's ever entered, i gotta say your post spelled some things out very clearly.  thanks. best of luck with that growth thing.

Hello all, I'm new to this group, so this post will also be my introduction. I’ve heard several people on this thread talk about their physical sharing being sacred, and I certainly agree that it can be that.. but then, it would be with just as sacred within a traditional two partner relationship wouldn’t it? My ideas about poly and my ideas about spiritually compliment each other in several ways. First, another one that I saw mentioned above, is with the honesty that it requires. One of the primary components of treating someone (or yourself) with love, as I understand it, is to be honest with them. It seems like poly requires this for any kind of lasting or healthy relationship. It’s almost as if poly requires more from you, requires to you raise your standards of conduct and the quality of love-as-action that you give each other. I’ve seen so many ‘exclusive’ two partner relationships continue on, year after year because important questions don’t get asked, does that make them better, simply because they last longer? It would seem to me like it would be in everyone’s best interest to reveal an incompatible relationship for what it is and move on before you waste precious years of your life in a relationship that can’t give you want you need and want. Another way that my spirituality has informed my poly is the idea of reincarnation. Maybe not obviously, but it seems to make sense to me that though I was born into a male body in this life, that my spirit is non-sexed/non-gendered. And if the man next to me could have been my life’s love in a previous or future life, why would I deny that potential connection just because of the way we’ve chosen to incarnate in this life? But I suppose that speaks more to my being bi than poly.. *grin* ok.. let me try again. *grin* I suppose there are two other important ways that my spirituality has informed my poly. One would be that, from the ethical model I’m working from, only those things that are unloving are considered wrong.. so anything that is loving is permissible. Now, certainly there are unloving ways to have non-monogamous relationships. I’m sure we’ve all seen examples of that, but we’ve probably also seen, or at least heard of, responsible and loving non-monogamous relationships, and according to an ethic of love, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that. Granted it doesn’t require non monogamy, but it doesn’t forbid it either.

The last one (that I can think of off the top of my head on a Monday morning. *grin*) Would be the idea that there is love-as-action, what it is to treat someone with love, and love-as-emotion, the feeling and experience of being ‘in love’ For what ever reason, I blame it on having a ‘poly heart’ but I’m sure there’s more to it than that.. I can be totally in love with my partner, and fall in love with someone else at the same time. I only judge myself as being right or wrong in a situation depending on how I treat these people with love (or fail to) and I think that’s an important distinction to make. We can feel love for who ever we like, but how does that influence our actions, do we still treat the people in our live with love? Ourselves? ok.. that enough for me for a Monday morning, take care all. Peace and agape’ ~aspen.

Good GOD Aspen!
I never believed in love at first post....until now.

I am still trying to fight the fact that I am Bi, so to say I love you is a pretty big deal and stuff. But damn you hit this Poly stuff on the nose.

I am so looking forward to reading your additional posts.

Philip (Awestruck) Berens

Careful now, you'll get yourself in trouble (speaking as a guy who married my ex-wife after only knowing her for two weeks.. *grin* and I wouldn't wish that (my ex-wife *grin-tease*) on anyone.. *grin*) Why fight it? But thank you. Oh, I don't know about that.. I'm sure we all have different ways of doing poly, different ideas about how it might work for us.. but if we can learn from our mistakes, I've been a student for years *grin-tease-self* (No offense to my ex's of the last couple years, I'm not talking about you, just how had to learn how to love) You're a member of the tribe aren't you? I thought I remembered seeing you there, have you had a chance to go through and read the discussion posts there? How about on the Children of the Dance group? I'm always looking for feedback on those projects. *grin* Take good care of yourself out there, Peace and love, ~aspen.

Looks like I have a lot to respond to this is going to be a general response to as many as I can fit or see the need to respond to- there are a lot of great points being brought up here.
Don’t fight the fact that your bi- (I can not emphasize this enough) it can raise hell in your head- and I’m relatively comfy with my being bisexual. There have been sacral people I know or know of who have been variations of where you are at with a mono/heterosexual relationship and discovering more about themselves.
Parts of any life can hurt like hell- remember that it’s not just us
 Hmmm. Growing in a way that may not make sense to your spouse- an inactive member of this board just went through a divorce due to a very similar situation- I told him briefly of this post and though he is no longer part of care2, he is willing to discuss this. I have not quite been here- but I did discover poly while being in acting open but truly mono relationship (long story) the attitudes regarding marriage, yes need to evolve-, as do attitudes regarding relationships in general
Physical sharing should be sacred with any partner questions should be asked in any relationship- and re evaluation faced when necessary as well- I faced that recently.
For me poly has not only helped raise my standard, but has made me more aware of others and red flags in relationships
The totally in love with one and falling in love with others can be a difficult one for people (non-polys who I am out to) to understand, especially if it is more then one of the same gender or sex as my friends can comprehend wanting a relationship with one man and one woman for a bisexual person.
2 weeks- that does give new meaning to rushing things
loving much- hurting much- that sounds all too familiar-