It is impossible that anything should be produced if there were nothing existing before.
--Aristotle

Everything comes from something. All the organic compounds in our world come from four elements: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. From these simple ingredients have developed the marvelous chains of self-replicating proteins that fill the planet with jungles, gardens, farms, the swarming life of the sea, and four billion people.

Each of us contains all human possibilities within ourselves. Nothing that we do comes from nowhere; we all have the capacity for great goodness as well as great selfishness and blindness. The choice, at every moment, is ours. What will we use out of our formidable repertoire of responses?

Most of us have a pattern of response that we are comfortable with. Our habitual behavior saves us from the discomfort of always having to make a choice. But in exchange for comfort, we give up a little bit of our spontaneity. Every once in a while, it's good for us to become aware of what our habits are, and what determines our usual behavior.

Today I'll take myself off automatic pilot and navigate the whole course in person.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

By having our quiet moments each morning, we come to depend on the help of our Higher Power during the day, especially if we are tempted by our afflictions. And we can honestly thank Him each night for the strength He has given us. This daily meditation strengthens our faith, and there are other ways to do so. By listening to other members and working with them, we also strengthen our faith. Have I tried through daily meditative moments to seek the help of the Higher Power and to thank Him?

MEDITATION FOR THE DAY

It seems that sometimes when God wishes to express to us what He is like He creates a beautiful person. Think of a personality as God's expression of character attributes. Be as fit an expression of Godlike character as you can. When the beauty of a person's character is impressed upon us, it leaves an image that in turn reflects through our own actions. Look for beauty of character in those around you.

PRAYER FOR THE DAY

I pray that I may look at great persons until their beauty of character becomes a part of my soul. I pray that I may reflect this character in my own life.

Being patient

Over time, we get what we want out of this program. If we seek a better way of life, for example, we will develop it. If we want to diminish our pain, we will find relief. If we want love, we will learn how to give it and receive it.

Over time, our lives can improve a great deal through the Twelve Step program. Thus, our job is to keep coming to meetings and working the Steps.

Can I do what I need to do to get what I want?

Higher Power, help me to be
Patient with myself, the program,
And the process of change.

Making prompt amends is the fresh air of each new day.
--Sandra Little

Today brings us a new hill to climb and a new view from the top. Taking time to reflect about our daily journeys is a challenging adventure in self-discovery. Looking down, we see our past trials and difficulties as lessons to learn from. Letting go of old baggage as we end our day will give us a bright window to open onto tomorrow.

Completing a daily inventory creates a good foundation for living peacefully. Honestly acknowledging the things we have done or said to hurt ourselves or others enables us to say, "I'm sorry" and to begin each day with a clean slate and a peaceful heart. As we empty ourselves of regret by making amends to ourselves and others, we make room for the love and comfort of our Higher Power.

Today help me take inventory and make amends where I need to

Commitment

As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire.

We must commit, on deep levels, to careers - to goals - to family, friends, and recovery. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing ourselves will. Yet, we need never commit before we are ready.

Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other times, it is a matter of our fears working their way out. Wait, then. Wait until the issue becomes clear.

Trust yourself. Ask your Higher Power to remove your fear of commitment. Ask God to remove your blocks to commitment. Ask God for guidance.

We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready.

God, guide me in making my commitments. Give me the courage to make those that are right for me, the wisdom to not commit to that which does not feel right, and the patience to wait until I know.

Sharing our experiences heightens our joy and lessens out pain.

Not letting other people know what's troubling us cause the problem to trouble us even more. "Secrets keep us stuck," say the wise ones on our journey.

Sharing what's on our mind with a friend or sponsor gives that person an opportunity to help us develop a better perspective. On the other hand, staying isolated with our worries exaggerates them.

Staying isolated with our joys isn't helpful either. It minimizes them, thus cheating us out of feeling their full thrill. We deserve joy in our lives – lots of it – because we will have our full measure of pain. Perhaps we fear others will criticize us for being braggarts if we sing forth our joy. But our real friends will sing right along with us. Our joys are deserved; they offset our trials. Telling others about both will let all our experiences count for something.

I will remain open to my friends today, sharing both my worries and my joys.

This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow.
--Hyemeyohsts Storm

There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.

Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."

Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.

Keeping my mind active through good, intellectual discussions is important to me. Talking over golf scores doesn't take us very far.
--Louise Jerome

Small talk is what engages us much of the time. There's nothing shameful about that. Many of the individuals we're in the company of are strangers to us. Inconsequential discussions seem safer then. Yet, keeping our minds active through thoughtful discussions about the world expands our knowledge and awareness. This exercises our minds in important ways. Just as muscles atrophy when unused, so do minds.

Many people shy away from in-depth discussions. Maybe we frequently do that, too. Oftentimes it's because we feel inadequate to others. Maybe we assume they are better educated. Fears of inadequacy are familiar to most of us. Will we ever learn that we are and always have been all that we've needed to be?

One of the good things about growing older, for some of us at least, is that we realize most worries don't materialize; most situations aren't as serious as we anticipated, and most people are more approachable than they first appear to be. Taking risks to share our thoughts gets easier the more we practice it. Let's not shy away from this today.

I'll dare to share my opinions today. A good discussion can energize me.

The Evolving Relationship

. . . a partner who provided a place to climb.

Once when climbing rocks with friends, a woman reached a place she decided was impossible to move beyond. She wanted to retreat, but her belayer encouraged her to try again. She felt angry and scared, and she was stuck. She fought with the rock, but it was clear that the rock was never going to change. Wanting the rock to be different, to grow new footholds or handholds was futile.

After she vented her feelings, she realized there were only two ways out of her predicament. One way was to quit, and the other was to try again, perhaps with a different mind-set than she had before. Staying with her task in spite of her fear, she began to think of the rock as her friend, as a partner who provided a place to climb. She realized that she did not have to make her friend, the rock, change in order to continue climbing. Her thoughts were more focused, and she was able to make her way up the rock.

Sometimes our partner feels like an immovable rock. It is difficult to stop trying to change our partner and focus on ourselves. When we do, we discover a new direction in our relationship, a new view of our partner, and empowerment for ourselves.

I haven't won yet but I haven't lost, either.
--Dennis C.

A favorite saying in sports is, "It isn't losing to get knocked down. Losing is staying down."

In life, as in sports, that idea makes great sense. Like "Let go and let God," or "Let it begin with me," it is a saying that reminds us of an important underlying principle. In this case the principle is that battles aren't wars, but rather a series of campaigns. No one wins every time out, or can expect to. And some battles aren't worth fighting anyway.

Fighting a battle isn't hell – our unrealistic expectations are. When we strike out against some old attitude or behavior, we have to realize we're in for the long haul. When the enemy is some aspect of ourselves, we are up against a formidable opponent that won't give up easily. We have to expect that there will be many battles – and not a few defeats. The winner is the one who perseveres longest.

Only continued effort wins the war; we can't lose if we don't quit.

Today, I pray for persistence in the face of many defeats. I ask my Higher Power for courage to keep at it.

Love, and love alone, is capable of giving thee a happier life.
--Ludwig van Beethoven

We are making a response to life every waking moment; our attitudes formulate the tenor of our responses. When the sun warms our bodies and the flowers tease our nostrils, it may be easy to love everyone and smile. When we have a negative attitude, we may snarl and all too quickly criticize innocent bystanders, as well as friends and family. All we need is to make a simple decision to look with love as far as our eyes can see.

When our hearts are God-centered and filled with love and laughter, we'll find no experience too difficult to handle. No problem will evade its solution for long.

An attitude of love promises us gratitude in abundance. We'll never doubt that all is well when love is at our center.

Opportunity may knock only once,
But temptation leans on the doorbell.
--Anonymous

We have an opportunity. We've made getting out of debt a priority in our lives. Just having this desire gives us the opportunity. For this, we are grateful.

It's all too easy, however, to slip into our old ways of thinking and behaving. Our old spending patterns are all too fresh in our mind. We remember to take this opportunity – this juncture in our lives – to learn and to grow. If we're tempted to return to our old ways, we're going backward.

Today I will remember that my old thinking and behaviors are a part of my history, not my future.

A man who has committed a mistake and doesn't correct it is committing another mistake.
--Confucius

Step Ten tells us that when we are wrong, we must "promptly" admit it. We aren't used to admitting our mistakes. We defend ourselves or blame others. This is called denial.

Denial is bad for two reasons. First, it keeps us from learning from our mistakes, so we keep making them. Second, we don't listen to others, so we close off ourselves and become lonely.

What a relief it is to admit our wrongs! We don't have to keep trying to do things the hard way. We can learn new ways to think and act that will work better for us. We can let other people be our teachers.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me out of denial, so I can see the changes I need to make.

Action for the Day

Today, if I disagree with someone, I'll promptly admit it when I'm wrong. If I'm right, I'll be gentle. I don't have to prove anything.

Listening and Sharing

"I've found that many of my painful experiences with others are the result of past memories," stated a friend.

"Often I'm not reacting so much to what is going on between me and another person right at the time; I'm responding to some previous wound or hurt from my past that hasn't quite healed. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

"Just the other day, a friend of mine said she needed some time to herself and didn't want to see me for a week. Well, rather than accept her statement, statement, I was hurt. I immediately thought of a past friendship I had helped destroy by being too possessive and demanding. I thought I was making the same mistake again and that my present girl friend was trying to get rid of me, too. I felt so defeated I couldn't respond. I just sat there stunned and tried not to cry.

"My friend was uncomfortable with my change in attitude, but since I wasn't able to communicate what I was feeling, she left feeling at loose ends, too."

"Thank goodness I had enough sense to call her and share my unsettling feelings a day or two after that experience. I found my friend wasn't rejecting me at all. She really did need some time to herself."

Today I will not allow past, painful memories to cripple my current relationships. When I am hurt or confused, I will talk out my feelings and reactions before I make harsh criticisms or assume another's motives.

When a person is concerned only with giving, there is no anxiety.
--Gerald Jampolsky

Whatever we give away returns to us, manifold. When we show love or understanding, when we are gentle or express genuine concern, usually the same will come right back to us. Perhaps not in kind, maybe not in ways we expected, nevertheless our gifts bear fruit.

Many of us have longed for love and security to come from others with a promise of forever; inevitably, we became anxious that, in time, that love or security would disappear. When we view life from such a narrow perspective, no amount of love can bolster our sense of worth.

How different the world looks when we unselfishly give out love rather than longingly await the love, attention, or understanding of others. We guarantee receiving the good feelings we crave every time we share those feelings with a fellow traveler.

I am in charge of what I receive from others today. I will get back what I willingly give

I want to change things. I want to see things happen. I don't want just to talk about them.
--John Kenneth Galbraith

Newcomer
I feel as if I should be doing so much more than just staying in recovery and going to meetings. And yet, when I have free time, I'm not accomplishing much these days. I go to a meeting and then to coffee – "the meeting after the meeting," I've heard it called – and I get home and feel too tired to do any more. When I have a big block of time, I don't know how to use it. I feel confused and discouraged.

Sponsor
This point in recovery is a time to be especially gentle with ourselves. When we look back at how we were feeling and what we were doing just before we entered recovery, we can see that "just staying in recovery and going to meetings" is a major change. To be free from our addictive behavior, to keep a commitment to a program of recovery – this is nothing short of a total revolution in our lives. We have made a commitment to live, not to punish ourselves for not doing it faster and more perfectly.

"The meeting after the meeting" is not a waste of time. It's important to get to know our peers in recovery. We can learn from one another, support one another. The changes we're experiencing are mirrored back to us by others who are undergoing similar transformations. It gives us experience, too, at being with people without the "help" of our addictive substance or behavior.

We don't have to worry about wasting time in early recovery. It is a miracle that we can simply be.

Today, I let myself be.

Reflection for the Day
So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don't realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we're willing to turn to God for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we're troubled and can't see a way out, it's only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The Program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender my will to God's will, do I see faith at work in my life?

Today I Pray
May I be free of despair and depression, those two "down D's" that are the result of feelings of helplessness. May I know that I am never without the help of God, that I am never helpless when God is with me. If I have faith, I need never be "helpless and hopeless."

Today I Will Remember  
Despair is the absence of faith.

Today's thought from Hazelden is:

It's easy to look at all the tasks and unsolved problems and feel so pressured that we get paralyzed and don't get anything done. It takes discipline to gather in our scattered forces and focus on one thing, one day, one step, and sometimes one hour – even when taking only that one step can seem so trivial in the face of all that looms.

Inventory Focus:
Are you creating unnecessary fear and drama by taking on more than you handle? Are you willing to trade in the I'm-out-of-control-and-overwhelmed feeling for a sense of manageability? Do you have any history with deliberately living life one day or one step at a time? How did that work?

Plans, goals, and dreams are good, but the only way to get there is one day at a time.

The 12 Step way of life is accepting, not necessarily passive.
--Anonymous

When we accept life on life's terms, we are acknowledging reality. We have all, on occasion, run from the truth. When we were in a situation that frightened us, we would turn tail and run. We would do our imitation of an ostrich and stick our heads in the sand, pretending the situation didn't exist and was not happening.

When we accept something, we are not passively taking it in. We are ready to work through and toward our new awareness. But we can't do anything at all unless we accept it as a reality.

We know what it's like to run from our disease. We tried to prove it was anything and everything but addiction. We tried to prove it was caused by something wrong in our lives, our jobs, our family, our childhood, our relationships, even the weather. After we ran out of excuses, we finally accepted our disease.

My acceptance of my addiction is not passive, but based in reality and truth.

We're not given more than we can handle.

Sometimes I take on more than I can comfortably manage - that’s one of the ways in which my life becomes unmanageable. It happens when I'm operating according to self-will rather than the will of a Higher Power.

I believe that God does not expect more of me than I can produce, that along with the challenges and difficulties I encounter comes the strength I need to cope with them and learn from them. When chaos threatens, I'm either taking on more than I should, or I'm not using the resources available to me.

With recovery, we learn to arrange our priorities so that we do not get worn out with compulsive activity and busy-ness. Everything becomes more manageable when we're not trying to run the show by ourselves. Solid experience teaches us that support is always at hand, that our Higher Power comes through for us when we ask for help.

I will face today's tasks confident that I will be given the ability to accomplish my Higher Power's will for me.

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
--Henry Ford

To be a friend involves risk. Friends confront each other when it's needed, but they do it out of love and with compassion. All of us need a friend who will tell us when we are acting out of line, when we are "not able to see the forest for the trees." Friends are there for us in the struggles – rooting us on, maybe teasing us a bit, helping us get past the difficulties and eventually helping us find the gift embedded in them. Friends risk upsetting us, if it means we may become better people.

We need to be grateful for these people. Theirs is not always an easy job. Many of us have big egos; we don't want to be told that we are wrong. However, friends keep seeing the best in us, even when we aren't acting our best. Theirs will be the faces we see when we look back at our lives, especially at the times of crisis and challenge.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be a friend, and help me be grateful for my friends.

Today's Action

Today I will work to bring out the best in those around me, even if that means saying the hard things. If I must confront someone, I will only do it if I can do it with love and compassion

Change Me
--Ruth C.'s Prayer

Change me, God,

Please change me.

Though I cringe,

Kick,

Resist and resent.

Pay no attention to me whatsoever.

When I run to hide

Drag me out of my safe little shelter.

Change me totally.

Whatever it takes.

However long You must work at the job.

Change me – and save me

From spiritual self-destruction.

Happiness is a by product of an effort to make someone else happy.
--Gretta Brooker Palmer

Self-centeredness aggravates the natural flow of circumstances surrounding us; too much attention on ourselves distorts whatever might be troubling us. However, focusing on others' needs diminishes what we'd perceived as our own pressing need. This is a simple principle we might all consider adopting.

None of us is free of problems. That's one of life's givens. Through their resolution we grow and ready ourselves for the next group of challenges. Each group we survive enables us to offer better assistance to someone else who will confront a similar problem. Perhaps we'd do well to see all our problems as preparation for guiding someone who will come into our life. Helping someone else is certain to lift spirits and foster happiness, but the unexpected reward is that the helper reaps even greater benefits than the one helped.

My happiness is guaranteed if I help someone else find it today

Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgment of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.
--Kathleen Casey Theisen

Recovery offers us courage to make choices about the events of our lives. Passive compliance with whatever is occurring need no longer dominate our pattern of behavior. Powerlessly watching our lives go by was common for many of us, and our feelings of powerlessness escalated the more idle we were.

Today, action is called for -- thoughtful action in response to the situations begging for our attention. Recovery's greatest gift is the courage to take action, to make decisions that will benefit us as well as the people who are close to us. Courage is the byproduct of our spiritual progress, courage to accept what we cannot change, believing that all will be well, courage to change in ourselves what we do have control over.

An exhilaration about life accompanies the taking of action. The spell that idleness casts over us is broken, and subsequent actions are even easier to take. Clearly, making a choice and acting on it is healthful. The program has given us the tools to do both.

Decisions will be called for today. I will be patient with myself, and thoughtful. I will listen closely to the guidance that comes from those around me.

Often, the people who are close to me share similar ways of thinking, acting, or spending time. This doesn't mean that we have to share everything. We can choose which activities we do together and allow each other to have separate interests too.

If I'm in an intimate relationship, but want to go to a movie with friends, it should be perfectly acceptable. It doesn't mean there are problems in my relationship, but that the relationship is healthy and equal. Problems would exist when one person wants to have the freedom to choose separate activities but doesn't allow the other the same consideration. It is normal and healthy to have experiences, hobbies, and interests that are separate from those of my children, friends, or romantic interest. Couples and families shouldn't be expected to enjoy everything together.

If someone I care about has told me he or she wants to do something away from me, I can react by saying, "This is great!" Today I will understand that this doesn't mean the person no longer loves me or is losing interest. It means that person is emotionally healthy enough to have his or her own interests and respects me enough to allow me mine.

Simplicity and greatness go together.
-- Monty Cralley

We have probably heard the phrase Keep It Simple thousands of times. It's possible we are mystified by it, even yet. So many things in life have seemed complicated: getting an education, starting a new job, advising children and friends. Not many things can be pursued without careful consideration. When we have approached situations carelessly, we have often blundered badly.

Keeping it simple means doing only the next right thing, not a sequence of fourteen things all at once. To keep something simple means to focus on only a tiny bit of the problem at a time. If we employ a little hindsight, we'll quickly recall how many situations began to improve as we attended to just a portion of them.

God never gives us more than we can handle. How many times have we heard that? It means we'll always be shown the way to handle something little by little, very simply, in exactly the order we need the information. Don't we see this is how it has always been? Why would it change now?

Today I need to listen. I don't need to figure out all my problems at once

Children do not know how their parents love them, and they never will till the grave closes over those parents, or till they have children of their own.
--Edmund Vance Cooks

As adults, we may feel we were cheated out of a "normal" childhood because of our parents' emotional, physical, or spiritual failings. We may think they should never be forgiven for their actions or inactions when we were young.

Yet imagine what our lives would be like today if we did not forgive. We would be bitter, stomping angrily through life with a clipboard in hand, ready to write down the name of the next person who crosses us. It's time to throw away the clipboard and the names on it - including the names of our parents.

The program teaches us to love those who come into our lives, even if we don't like them. It teaches us forgiveness through our Higher Power. We do not have to like our parents, but we can love them. By the same token, we need to realize our parents love us in their special way. They aren't perfect - and neither are we.

Help me remember my parents did the best they could with what they had. That's all anyone can really do.

Communicating

He said, "Let's go to the movies when we're done with our work." She said, "That's a great idea!" But when the work that she had in mind was finished, he still had several tasks that remained undone. So they got into a dispute. It was not a disagreement, it was a misunderstanding.

Another day, she said she was frightened about an upcoming visit to her doctor. Actually, she felt overwhelmed with fear and was trying hard to keep herself under control. But on the outside, she looked controlled, so he thought she was only a little afraid. She felt hurt and neglected because he seemed insensitive to her great fear.

What one means and thinks on the inside will never be exactly what one shows in words and feelings on the outside. We naturally long to be understood. But in adult relationships we have to expect differences between what is meant and what is said. This has nothing to do with honesty or how much two people love each other. What seems obvious to one partner on the inside is not necessarily obvious to the other partner on the outside.

Recall a time when your words did not convey your whole meaning

If you want to be found, stand where the seeker seeks.
--Sidney Lanier

When does a good program turn into a bad program? When it becomes a hiding place. As adult children, we are good – no, ingenious – at finding hiding places.

Sometimes we hide behind our work by staying super busy. We hide in prayer itself – behind sweet-sounding words. We can choose to always be tired so we can hide in sleep. We can hide behind any of the "helper" roles by fixing others so we never have to fix ourselves. We can even make our program a hiding place by going through the motions, saying all the right things, but never really encountering ourselves.

If we want to be found, we have to come out where somebody can find us.

I will identify my hiding places and make conscious decisions about choosing them or not.

To the rationally minded, the mental processes of the intuitive appear to work backward. His conclusions are reached before his premises.
--Frances Wickes

Intuition is a valuable form of wisdom that often seems mystical. We lose our keys and can't find them in any of the usual places and then an idea pops into our mind about where to find them. Only after the fact can we explain – maybe – why that spot came to mind. That's intuition. Or, on a higher plane, we have a feeling that a certain choice in our life would be a big mistake, or one day, for no clear reason, we expect our partner to tell us something important.

The wisdom of our intuition deserves our great respect. It is a valuable guide. Even though it is not 100 percent accurate, and we cannot expect it to be, we should not violate ourselves by contradicting it. Instead, we grow by developing our intuition, listening to what we imagine and what we feel, and following our instincts. Intuition is another form of spiritual strength.

Today I will listen to my inner feelings about things, even when I don't immediately understand them rationally.

Willing to Make Amends

The Eighth Step is talking about a change of heart, a healing change.

This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard heartedness - one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love.

In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love.

We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, "Sorry!" We make our list, not to feel guilty, but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins - within us.

It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry.

It opens the door to love. It opens the door to the energy of love and healing. It enables us to release negative feelings and energy, and opens the door to positive feelings and energy.

That energy can be felt around the world, and it starts inside us.

How often have we, after we have been hurt, wished that the person would simply recognize our pain and say, "I’m sorry?" How often have we wished that the person would simply see us, hear us, and turn the energy of love our way? How often have we longed for at least a change of heart, a small dose of reconciliation, in relationships tainted by unfinished business and bad feelings? Often, others do too. It is no secret. The energy of healing begins with us. Our willingness to make amends may or may not benefit the other person; he or she may or may not be willing to put matters to rest.

But we become healed. We become capable of love.

Today, I will work on a change of heart if hard heartedness, defensiveness, guilt, or bitterness are present. I will become willing to let go of those feelings and have them replaced by the healing energy of love.

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without also helping himself.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

When Albert Schweitzer said, "The only ones of you who will be truly happy are those who have found and learned how to serve,""he was stating an ancient truth - that the meaning of life lies in giving. The quality of your life is in direct proportion to your willingness to give.

In the classic movie "It's a Wonderful Life," George Bailey discovered this truth. Though he had many opportunities to pursue his ambitions elsewhere, George remained in his community and dedicated himself to providing affordable housing to its members. When his guardian angel showed him what the town would be like if he had never been born, Bailey realized how much of a difference his giving had made.

George also discovered another secret - that what you give is what you receive. Whatever you give out comes back to you. When you extend yourself to nurture the spiritual growth of another, you nurture your own growth. Although his material possessions were modest, George Bailey was toasted the "richest" (i.e., the most beloved) man in town by the people of Bedford Falls. Later he remarked, "No man can be poor as long as he has friends."

Bailey gave of himself for the joy of giving, and joy is what he received. By following this path, we, too, can be blessed.

Self importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
--Carlos Castaneda

Were we offended by someone yesterday? Do we harbor resentment for remarks, oversights, or unpleasant mannerisms? Do we feel tense or uneasy about how someone else has treated us? We can probably make a good case to justify our reactions. Perhaps we are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Yet, even if we are justified, it doesn't matter. We may be puffing ourselves up and wasting energy. When we are oversensitive, we take a self-righteous position which leads us far from our path of spiritual awakening. Our strength is diminished.

How much better it is to let go of the lightness, let go of our grandiosity, and accept the imperfections in others. We need to accept our own imperfections too. When we do, we are better for it, and our strength and energy can be focused on richer goals.

I will accept others' imperfections; I do not need to be right. 

The divided self exists in all of us.
--Marie Lindquist

One gift of sobriety is the growing awareness that we are complex, whole individuals, more than just our dark side. Defeated, we came into this program of recovery certain that our lives would be forever fraught with problems. Little in our experience made us proud. Surviving our hateful, painful, and confusing lives was our proudest achievement.

The moment we admit our powerlessness over our drug of choice and over other people, a fresh start commences. Becoming willing to let a Higher Power influence our lives gives us a chance to glimpse the brighter side of our being. We discover it was there all the time.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. We're human. Nevertheless, we tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us loudest. Which side we hear is up to us.

I am a complex human being. I have the next 24 hours to live as I choose

The lust of power is not rooted in strength, but in weakness.
--Erich Fromm

We believed alcohol or other drugs could help us control our happiness. But now we're learning to rely on faith for our happiness. Faith is about leaving things to our Higher Powers' control. Instead of wanting the control ourselves, we trust our Higher Power will help us handle things that come along.

In recovery, we work at having more faith. Faith in a Higher Power. Faith in the Steps. Faith in our groups. Faith that our lives will get better if we don't use chemicals and we work an honest recovery program. Faith makes life a lot easier.

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, surround me with Your love. Give me strength to do hard things. Give me faith to know that I'm not alone.

Action for the Day
Today, I'll notice how I still want to be in control. I'll remind myself that it's okay to Let Go and Let God.

Attitudes and Limitations

To a large extent, the way we think determines who we are and what happens to us.

We cannot harbor poisonous thoughts without their effects visibly showing in our lives. If we dwell on our inadequacy and ineffectiveness, for example, circumstances will prove us correct because we will invite self-defeating events to us.

On the other hand, replacing destructive thoughts with hope-filled, optimistic ones brings peaceful and confidence-producing circumstances to us. We will radiate competence and joy.

We would be wise, therefore, to take the advice of twentieth century author Orison Swett Marden: "Stoutly determine not to harbor anything in the mind which you do not wish to become real in your life. Shun poisoned thoughts, ideas which depress and make you unhappy, as instinctively as you avoid physical danger of any find – replace all these with cheerful, hopeful, optimistic thoughts."

Today I will make it a habit to continually replace pessimistic thoughts with optimistic ones. I will dwell on what is uplifting so that I may increase my courage and confidence as well as better my circumstances

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Today's thought from Hazelden is:

In my new life, I sometimes feel a lack of excitement. I might miss the old adrenaline rush I used to get during a crisis. Even though I didn't like being in a crisis, the feeling I had in my body became familiar to me.

I can find new activities or interests that feel exhilarating but that aren't harmful to me or others. It could be the excitement of enjoying a carnival ride, winning a race, playing a party game with friends, learning a new hobby or craft, or watching a suspenseful movie. These are just some things I might do to give my life some excitement without creating a crisis.

When I feel like something is missing, I will try to pinpoint what it is and think about filling the emptiness with something that's good for me.

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.
--Albert Schweitzer

Throughout our life we've been influenced by other people's behavior and opinions. Many of us were influenced by very poor examples in earlier years. And we may have to pray for help rather than continuing to follow those poor examples now. But all around us are people who are healthy, loving, and honest. We are invited to emulate their behavior.

Acting As If can help us develop new behaviors. We may not feel very comfortable reaching out to a program newcomer or making conversation with someone we've just met, but we can do it. And in time, with practice, we'll discover we've added a positive dimension to our character, one that influences the lives of other people who struggle just like us. All of us, Acting As If in positive ways, offer wonderful examples of behavior change. We reinforce our own changes, and each other's, every time we are thoughtful before we act.

With my Higher Power's help, I will be a good example for someone today

This is a “we” program.
--Saying heard at meetings

Newcomer
Why must I have a sponsor? Can’t I do this on my own?

Sponsor
Sponsorship is a strong suggestion – not a rule. Yes, some people do stay in recovery without a sponsor. And no, we can’t recover on our own.

There are great advantages to taking the program suggestion to maintain a relationship with a sponsor. Recovery is a major change – it's one of the most difficult, most courageous things we can do in our lives. A sponsor, someone who's survived the ups and downs we’re facing in early recovery, can serve as a guide and mentor. He or she can answer our questions and help us through the Steps, giving us the benefit of his or her experience. With a sponsor present to witness our recovery process, to offer perspective and support, we may have a gentler ride.

When I was active in my addiction, I avoided the intimacy of relationships in which I might have to open myself to others or trust them. Even at times when there were many people in my life, I managed to avoid "people situations" that made me uncomfortable. A sponsor-sponsee relationship can be the start of learning that human beings can depend on one another.

Today, I'm not alone in recovery.

Reflection for the Day

"How does The Program work?" newcomers sometimes ask. The two answers I most often hear are "very well" and "slowly." I'm appreciative of both answers, facetious as they may first sound, because my self-analyzing tends to be faulty. Sometimes I've failed to share my defects with the right people; other times, I've confessed their defects, rather than my own; at still other times, my sharing of defects has been more in the nature of shrill complaints about my problems. The fact is that none of us likes the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, and the confession of shortcomings, which The Steps require. But we eventually see that The Program really works. Have I picked up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at my feet?

Today I Pray

May God keep me from laying out my defects by comparing them to someone else's. We are, by nature, relativists and comparers, who think in terms of "worse than. . ." "not quite as bad as. . ." or "better than. . ." May I know that my faults are faults, whether or not they are "better than. . ." others'.

Today I Will Remember

Bad is bad, even when it is "better than."

Let go of the fear. Feel it, and then breathe it out. Let go of the frustration, the overwhelmed feelings, and the panic. Quiet yourself. Then pick one task, one simple thing to do. Then focus on only that. Or go to your calendar and circle today. Today is the only day you've got, and today is enough.

Action:

If you're working on a project, break it down into components, and work on one small part. Don't think about the rest. If what's overwhelming you is a flurry of tasks and problems, make a list, then pick one thing and focus on doing that. Then cross it off your list and do another.

If you're going through a tough stretch in your life, don't think about all the days that loom ahead. Make whatever appointments and plans you need to make, then focus only on today. If you're experiencing something tough, like a divorce or early sobriety, you may want to break your days into smaller parts, such as hours, mornings, afternoons, and evenings. Don't think about facing anything more than that chunk of time. Then when you get to the next chunk, focus on that.

If the beast of anxiety starts roaring, quiet it by deliberately turning your attention to small steps.

Stop expecting too much from yourself.
--Anonymous

When there is too wide a gap between standards we set for ourselves and our actual achievement, unhappiness follows. If we can't improve the performance, we should lower the demands. When we are true to ourselves, we come to expect only that which we are capable of doing. As we grow each day in recovery, we are able to do more.

What we expect from ourselves can change the next day. It is very important that through our meetings and conversations with fellow members, we keep close tabs on our development. We find out that life is for living, and it is better lived when we do our assignments every day.

We are really never given more than we can do. As long as we have realistic goals, we will be given what we need to succeed.

Today I'll remember that when my expectations are too high, I get stuck and down on myself

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
     --Step Three of Alcoholics Anonymous

Let's cut right to the heart of the matter: We get in trouble if we try to run our own lives. Our ego starts to mess things up. We try to control things we can't control. We think we are smarter than we are. We start to think we can run things just fine by ourselves. What's the end product? We end up alone – spiritually and sometimes physically – and in trouble.

What we need to do is let the care of our Higher Power run our life. We can use care as a guide because care is what a Higher Power is all about. When we put care into action, we get healing love as a result. So let's put our egos aside and ask our Higher Power to help us do the next right thing.

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, I've made a decision. I am yours to do with as You want. I know that You will guide my life with care.

Today's Action
I will write down one way that I can be caring to others and myself today. Acting from care is acting for my Higher Power.

Because of my experience with people who have tried to control me, do I ever find myself trying to control others?

There are many ways that people try to control situations or other people. They can directly tell others what to do, or they can be subtle and manipulative. Trying to have control over other people doesn't achieve anything. The only person I can be responsible for – or control – is me.

This does not mean I neglect my responsibilities to others as a parent, co-worker, or supervisor. Nor does it mean that I can't express my opinion when asked. It means that I refrain from trying to control how other people act, think, believe, or live.

Today I will observe my own behavior and notice when I'm trying to control others. If I see myself doing this, I will stop it now. I can remember what it was like to be controlled and how much I resented it. I don't want others to feel that way about me. I will do whatever I can to stop this pattern in my own behavior.

He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!
--Anne Frank

Someone once said happiness is like a butterfly: if we chase it, we'll never find it. But if we sit quietly, it will come and land on us. Faith and courage are the same. All we have to do is sit quietly and ask for these gifts from God. In time, and with patience, they will be ours, and so will the happiness we can then pass on to others.

Anne Frank wrote the above words facing a concentration camp and certain death. If she could find happiness and faith and courage within herself under those circumstances, then certainly we can too. These gifts are ours, already within us, if we but look for them.

How important is it?

The young man in the meeting was very angry and upset. His lawnmower had broken down. He was having a cookout in his back yard that evening, the yard “looked terrible,” and he’d paid a lot of money for that mower! After he went on for some time, an older woman gently interrupted him and asked, “Was anyone hurt? Was there danger? Would your guests walk out?” And finally, “Did you lose your sobriety over it?” The young man smiled, as he answered “no” to all the questions. “No, it was not that important after all.”

We all overreact sometimes to situations, people, and events that, later, we see were really not important. The next time we are bothered by someone or something that threatens to ruin our day, we will try to remember to ask ourselves. “How important is it?” If it’s not important, we’ll spend our time and energy on what is important. There is a world of difference.

Today help me to know what is important, to forget what’s not, and ask others for perspective when I‘m not sure.

My spiritual life has changed in the last few years.
--James Casey

Most of us have expanded our understanding of "the spiritual life." We may have grown up in religious homes. That wouldn't be unusual. But now we realize that didn't necessarily mean we were encouraged to be spiritual. The idea of "spirituality" might have been suspect, even. To our parents it may have sounded like the occult rather than a church affiliation.

What spirituality meant to Jim, and perhaps means to many of us, is having a relationship we nurture with the Creator, however we define that. It means believing we have an inner voice that is eager to offer us guidance whenever we are at a loss about what to do. Practicing a spiritual life also relieves us of the burden of worrying about the future. We know it will take care of itself, in the same way we'll be taken care of.

As we move through life, we continue to be confronted by conflict and problems over which we have no control. That's the learning curve, nothing more. We'll always be on this path. The good news is that our response to the struggle will change in proportion to our willingness to seek God's help.

How I see God and my life should keep changing.

Will I do my part to open my eyes wider today?

When one knows Thee, then alien there is none, then no door is shut. Oh, grant me my prayer that I may never lose the touch of the one in the play of many.
--Rabindranath Tagore

When we make a person-to-person telephone call, we want to be connected with one particular person. If that person is not in, we make no connection.

Are we taking time to make person-to-person connections? Or are we seeking situations with groups of people so we don't have to be open and honest with just one person? We all need at least one person with whom to share confidences, laughter, tears, hugs, plans, and dreams. If we don't have this special person, we are like one bird in a nest; safe and war, but isolated and alone.

We can attend a meeting every night and still be isolated and alone, Being around people doesn't necessarily mean we're making connections with them. To truly share ourselves, we need to open the doors to our lives and let at least one person in. Just one person can make the difference between isolation and connection.

I need to connect with a special friend. How can I open the door to this one person?

Communicating

…when I finally gave up on my partner.

He believed that the love of his life, if he ever found the Right One, would fill all the gaps of his own personality. She dreamed that her perfect match would always respond gently, never willfully. After the honeymoon phase they naturally began to find imperfections and disappointments. Both wondered if they had chosen the Wrong One. But in a sense, there is no Right One for anyone. In another sense, there may be millions of Right Ones.

The closeness of a partnership will always reveal weaknesses and disappointments that were ot obvious at first. No partner will match all the inventions of our own mind or so completely fit our needs that we have no remaining emptiness inside. One person said, “It felt like a terrible day when I finally gave up on my partner. But it became the first day of reality for me. Only after that did I discard the images I had invented for her and begin to get acquainted with who she really was.”

For today, put all your ideas and desires for who your mate should become on the shelf and go only with who your mate is.

Only those means of security are good, are certain, are lasting that depend on yourself and your own vigor.
--Machiavelli

What is our security based upon? This is a vital, bottom-line question.

Security is a basic need of all humans. But as with all quests, if we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we court certain frustration and failure.

Many would base their security on outside conditions. That is building our house on sand. Beauty passes, fame is fleeting, wealth can quickly evaporate, and health is fragile at best. What then is safe to count upon?

Only one security cannot be taken away, and it resides within. Security based on our own belief in ourselves, in our ability not only to cope and survive, but to celebrate life is the only security that lasts. As hard as it may be for adult children to learn they can trust themselves, it still is the only lasting security.

My security rests on the gains I've made in the program I've never had a stronger sense of self.

Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help, and what he cannot help.
--Thomas Fuller

In the Serenity Prayer, we pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot. That distraction can be hard for many of us to recognize. When we finally see the reality clearly – that some things we face cannot be controlled by our own will or fixed by force – new possibilities open up to us. When we stop trying to move a mountain, our relationship to the mountain changes. We start to live at peace with the mountain. At the same time we can take greater responsibility for those parts of our lives that we can change.

Peace of mind comes from accepting what we can do nothing about and taking responsibility for what we can.

Today I pray for the wisdom that helps me know the difference.

Only those means of security are good, are certain, are lasting that depend on yourself and your own vigor.
--Machiavelli

What is our security based upon? This is a vital, bottom-line question.

Security is a basic need of all humans. But as with all quests, if we look for the object of our search in an area where it cannot be found, we court certain frustration and failure.

Many would base their security on outside conditions. That is building our house on sand. Beauty passes, fame is fleeting, wealth can quickly evaporate, and health is fragile at best. What then is safe to count upon?

Only one security cannot be taken away, and it resides within. Security based on our own belief in ourselves, in our ability not only to cope and survive, but to celebrate life is the only security that lasts.

My security rests on the gains I've made in the program. I've never had a stronger sense of self.

Real love pours itself out upon the object of its affection, without demanding any return.
--Florence Scovel Shinn

Loving another wholly, purely, with no strings attached promises ecstasy, and yet seldom do we dare chance it. Often we want the promise of love in return if we're to offer it. Our fragile egos are held tentatively intact by the slim gestures and fleeting words of love tossed our way. But when we bargain for love, we don't find it.

Real love will forever elude us unless we put our own selves aside and unabashedly love the self of someone else.

Freely spreading the warm glow of love to others magically invites its return - another of life's mysteries.

My father taught me that only through self discipline can you achieve freedom.  Pour water into a cup and you can drink. Without the cup, the water would splash over. The cup is discipline.
--Ricardo Montalban

It is no accident that the words discipline and disciple come from the same root. To be a disciple of any path, one must be disciplined. Life works best when we learn to discipline ourselves.

Discipline liberates rather than confines you. Discipline allows you to function with ease and grace. After years of practicing his strokes, a tennis player can hit the ball without having to think about it. What once took conscious effort is now second nature.

Unfortunately, many of us had discipline forced upon us as children. Naturally, we rebelled against an externally imposed structure. We were not shown that true discipline always comes from within, and the motivation for that urge is love. When we are doing what we love, when we are pursuing something that has meaning, discipline becomes natural. As one Olympic athlete explained, "I don't mind working out every day. Because I love what I am doing, my training is not a burden but a joy."

Discipline is your ticket to freedom and path to excellence. Choose to be disciplined in all your endeavors and become the master of yourself and your life.

Today I will make a list of things I like about myself.

I will write about my good qualities and the things I feel I do well. I'll put a date on the list so that in the future, when I read it. I will remember how I'm feeling now.

I'll make a new list every thirty days because, even if it seems silly, I realize that this is part of learning how to like and appreciate myself

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link in the chain of destiny can be handled at a time.
--Sir Winston Churchill

How many times today will we think or say, "I wish I knew what was going to happen"? We can find contentment in the knowledge that God will take care of us, regardless of the outcome of any situation. And even more importantly, God already knows the outcome, and we'll know it too when the time is right. We never need to worry; all is well. We’re given the knowledge and direction we need when we're ready for it.

If we had known two or three or ten or twenty years ago that we'd be sharing our current journey with non-using, non-drinking men and women, we'd likely have expressed horror and disbelief. And yet we're here, gratefully so, living more peace-filled moments than we would have ever imagined possible. We got here, little by little, with God's care. We'll get where we're supposed to be in the same loving manner.

I will trust each moment of my life to God's loving care.

Reflection for the Day

In a very real sense, we are imprisoned by our inability or unwillingness to reach out for help to a Power greater than ourselves. But in time, we pray to be relieved of the bondage of self, so that we can better do God's will. In the words of Ramakrishna, "The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters, thus the Almighty cannot be mirrored in a heart that is obsessed by the idea of 'me and mine.'" Have I set myself free from the prison of self-will and pride which I myself have built? Have I accepted freedom?

Today I Pray

May the word freedom take on new meanings for me, not just "freedom from" my addiction, but "freedom to" overcome it. Not just freedom from the slavery of self-will, but freedom to hear and carry out the will of God.

Today I Will Remember

Freedom from means freedom to.

Cheerfulness keeps up a kind of daylight in the mind, and fills it with a steady and perpetual serenity.
--Joseph Addison

Our Program allows us to stand back from day-to-day confusion and let serenity come into our lives. Our program doesn’t take away all the struggles and problems from life, but it does let us learn a different outlook and attitude.

We don’t have to get caught up in every storm that blows our way. We don’t have to live the pain of every person who crosses our path. We don’t have to right every wrong.

Our recovery is a gift to us from a power greater than we are. We become more and more aware of the meaning of the words in the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.”

Let me learn to see the world as it actually is, not as I want it to be. I trust that my Higher Power didn’t make a mistake in designing this world or the plans for my life.

Recovery releases our creativity

Creativity implies something new - feeling, thinking, acting in a new way. When we step out of a familiar pattern, we often feel anxious. We wonder if the new way will work or if a new venture will succeed. We take a chance, a risk, and that requires courage.

If we refuse to tolerate a certain amount of anxiety, we will stay in our same old ruts. Safe? Perhaps, but stagnant. And maybe not so safe after all, since the opposite of growth is death.

You and I can live creatively if we are willing to have butterflies in our stomachs from time to time. Recovery releases us from old patterns so that we can try new ways of responding to the opportunities we are given each day. Believing we are supported by a Higher Power gives us the courage to take risks, especially when the outcome promises emotional and spiritual growth.

Today, I will dare to follow a creative inner prompting, even if I feel some anxiety.

Count Your Blessings

Count your many blessings, name them one by one,

Count your many blessings, see what God has done