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JANUARY KOMEDY KORNER
Love this Maui
1 year ago

Outstanding!

1 year ago
Today I received my Fiscal Cliff Survival Pack from the White House. It contained:
 
a parachute,
an 'Obama Hope & Change' bumper sticker,
a 'Bush's Fault' poster,
a 'Blame Boehner' poster,
a "Tax the Rich' poster,
an application for unemployment,
an application for food stamps,
a prayer rug,
a letter of assignation of debt to my grandchildren and...
a machine to blow smoke up my ass.
All directions were in Spanish.

Keep an eye out. Yours should arrive soon. 

1 year ago
When hurricane Sandy struck the East Coast, even houses of worship were not spared.
A local television station interviewed a black woman from New Jersey and asked how the loss of churches in the area would affect their lives.
Without hesitation, the woman replied, "I don't know 'bout ‘dem other people, but we ain't gone to Churches in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's."
The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.
They live among us, AND THEY VOTE...
Now, do you understand how we got our president?

Home Security!
1 year ago

543176_4458697458161_1542020495_n.jpg

1 year ago

New definition for S.O.S.  There's a moral here:

A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky
F-16 flashed by.

The jet jockey decided to show off.



The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch
this!' and promptly went into a barrel roll
followed by a steep climb..

He then finished with a sonic boom as he
broke the sound barrier.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he
thought of that?




The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but
watch this!'

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes
and then the C-130 pilot came back on and
said:

'What did you think of that?'

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck
did you do?'

The C-130 pilot chuckled.
'I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the
back, took a leak, then got a cup of coffee and
a cinnamon roll.'

When you are young & foolish - speed & flash
may seem a good thing!

When you get older & smarter -
comfort & dull is not such a bad
thing!

Us older folks understand this
one, it's called

S.O.S.

Slower, Older and Smarter....
 
1 year ago

Luv that joke up there Carol-Aint nobody got nuthin on Southern folk!! LOL

1 year ago

LOL..Wasn't that something Sherry! I tell ya...my Grandpa could have made a good southerner!! I took after him in a way too!! The way I look at it is "Whatever works!"

1 year ago

Love all the posts here. Needed them after a stressed day. Thanks all.

1 year ago

Any time Gloria!!! We are here to serve!!!

1 year ago

The one you put up there Carol-about how we got the occupier- that says one hell of  a lot about many that voted for Obladder for sure.

1 year ago

Yeah..lol..that says it all don't it!?

1 year ago
To keep a sharp mind! Fascinating!





CAN YOU SEE 10 FACES IN THIS TREE?






THERE'S A FACE IN HERE. CAN YOU SEE IT?


CAN YOU SEE THE BABY? 

CAN YOU SEE THE KISSING COUPLE? 




CAN YOU SEE THE THREE WOMEN? 






Can you tell the difference between a horse and a frog? 


Watch closely... 

Send this round' to all your friends, these are really fascinating!

 I got them all pretty fast except for the first one. I found them, but not as fast. I then called Hailey over and she found all 10 faces in a second of looking at it! Leave it to kids!

1 year ago

I can't see any of them Sherry!!! You will have to save the pictures to your computer and then add them to an album on Care2 and then add them on here..

Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do something useful with my time.
She suggested I go to the senior center and hang out with the guys.
I did that and when I got home last night I told her that I had joined a parachute club.
She said, "Are you nuts? You're almost 77 years old and you're going
To start jumping out of airplanes?"
I proudly showed her that I even got a membership card. She said to Me, "Good grief, where are your glasses! This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a Parachute Club."
I'm in trouble again, and I don't know what to do... I signed up for
Five jumps a week.
Life as a senior citizen is not getting any easier.
1 year ago

Found them all Sherry so I must be safe for now.  But poor Carol!  She can't even see them ... must be far beyond what they called "onset"!  LOL

Poor Carol, must be the onset dear.  I see them.  LOL  Just Kidding!!  I found the same info on a website and copied them here to help Sherry out.  Take a look below to see the pics.

To keep a sharp mind ....
1. CAN YOU SEE 10 FACES IN THIS TREE?

Image

2. THERE'S A FACE IN HERE. CAN YOU SEE IT?

Image

3. CAN YOU SEE THE BABY?

Image

4.CAN YOU SEE THE KISSING COUPLE?

Image

5. CAN YOU SEE THE THREE WOMEN?

Image

6.Can you tell the difference between a horse and a frog?
Watch closely...


Image

Now if you can see all the hidden pictures then you do not have the start of Alzheimer but if you do not then my best advice to you is to go and see your Dr. 
1 year ago

You couldn't see the ones I put up?   I called Hailey back over and she got every single one without even looking for them. Pointed them out in a hair split second. Glad you found them Michael!  LOL   Carol, dear, you alright?! Hmmm.  

1 year ago

I love these pictures..... I too found them all......thank you Sherry!!!

1 year ago

Oh good!  Then we still all have our wits together!!!   Umm, Carol?   LOL  Just teasing ya.-did ya find them yet?

1 year ago

I don't know why they didn't show up in your post Sherry.  All the words are there but none of the pictures.  What I did was google the top line of your post and found the pictures.  Then I just highlighted from top to bottom of all the tests and pasted into the post here.  Then I clicked preview to make sure they showed up.

 

Care2 is funny about inserting things.  Sometimes it works, many times it doesn't.  I don't understand why.  There's an industry standard for these things but apparently Care2 wants to do things their way instead of how everyone else does them.

1 year ago

Sherry..Did you copy the ones you added on from your e-mail? If so then that is why they didn't show up.

If you copied these Michael from the internet then that is why they showed up here..same thing with news sites..it's their bandwidth that is being used to copy/paste them.

Some of the pictures on e-mails I think cut off the bandwidth from the site they come from.

All I seen in the ones Sherry added are the words and then squares where the picture is suppose to be.

I can see the ones you added Michael and also found all the pictures..so I guess I do not have the stat of alzheimers!?

1 year ago

OMG! It's hard to find G rated things that are funny anymore.  This is great!

They Cut My Britches Off

video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=46fk02enulQ

 

If embed is still not working, the link is:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=46fk02enulQ

1 year ago

so I guess I do not have the stat of alzheimers!?

 

Oh good Carol!  I'm so glad you're ok! 

 

Oh good Carol!  I'm so glad you're ok! 

 

1 year ago

Wish I could watch that Michael!!! Just the sound of it reminds me of that joke with the kids with their pants down to their knees showing thier crack..and their skeleton showing up the same way the pants go from an x-ray!!

Grandma & Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting
their kids overnight.

When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in
his son's medicine cabinet, he asked
about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should
take one Dad; they're very strong
and very expensive."

"How much?" asked Grandpa.

"$10. a pill," Answered the son.

"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to
try one, and before we leave in the
morning, I'll put the money
under the pillow."

Later the next morning, the son found
$110 under the pillow. He called
Grandpa and said, "I told
you each pill was
$10, not $110.

"I know," said Grandpa. "The
hundred is from
Grandma!"

1 year ago

This just came from my grandson today:

He asked his mom if "When people get old do they die.?" She said "Yes," and he asked when she got old and died who was going to take care of him. She said he would have a wife.   He said, "No, I'm going to go live with my Grandma."  She said, "I hate to break it to you son, but Grandma is going before all of us."  He said, "What?! So I have to have a wife?"  She said, "Yep, and she'll love you just as much as Mommy."   He said, "Well, what about Hailey?  Who will take care of her?"  She told him that she would have a husband.  And then he goes "WHAT???   But WHO will marry HER???!!"



This post was modified from its original form on 17 Jan, 15:04
1 year ago

Manure... An interesting fact

 

Manure : In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.



It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas of course. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. 
Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!


Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. 

After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction ' Stow high in transit ' on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.







Thus evolved the term ' S.H.I.T ' , (Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day. 

You probably did not know the true history of this word. 

Neither did I. 

I had always thought it was a golf term. 

 


 
1 year ago

ROTFLMAO..these are so funny Sherry!!!! The Grand son one is just too sweet!!! I had read the one about the fertilizer but forgot the sh*t part and if you spell it out on Care2 here it gets &#+$...

1 year ago

Dear Mr Cameron,

After 4 years of the smoking Ban, Ten Thousand Pubs have disappeared, Just imagine what could disappear if you banned "Halal Meat"... give it some pissing thought

please!!!

1 year ago

I think that's a good darn thought Ray! And it should be implemented as of immediately!

1 year ago

Ray..that was hilarious!!!!!!!!

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