Okay here it goes;

I don't know how to go about this but will give it a try. I will be willing to listen to any help.

I was given up for adoption when I was 6 months old. Went to an orphanage till I was 2 yrs. old. At 2 1/2 yrs. old I was adopted by a family that had a daughter. And they were the coldest hearted people I had ever met.

My life was full of hatered for me because their daughter did not want me there and they let her influence them to not want me.And as cold hearted as they were I was brought to feeling that I did not want to be with them either.

At age nine they started legal prosedures to get rid of me. And by the age 12 yrs old. they succeed.

I went to 5 foster homes, 3 reform schools and a group home until I turned sixteen. From there I was on my own. (But I really was on my own at 9 yrs. old.)

Then later on in years I met my biologicl father. What a horrible disaster that was. I knew him for less than 2 months. Oh how I wished that I never had met him. This is another time in my life I was deeply deeply hurt and betrayed.

A less than a year now someone had found my biological mother.We talked on the phone just a very few times. There were no interest of me on her part. She never once asked me anything about my life. Now we don't talk on the phone, we have not met in person, she hasn't even ever sent me a birthday card.

I don't want to go into details about what everyone did to me. You could write a book on it. But I am having so much trouble dealing with everyday life.

I see people cheerful,laughing and smiling, enjoying life, preparing for an event,preparing for Holidays saying they love one another hugs and all of that. And I try to, I guess you can say that I try to follow the lead. But I am breaking apart in side. Even though I have others thinking that my life is as happy and joyful and as loving as theirs, I really am not any of them things.

I find myself ready to just fall apart in the least of things. I can't even carry on a simple conversation. I just feel numb with no more feelings left in me. I have seen doctors about this but how can you tell you life and how you feel in 1 hour a month?

Anyway that is where I am right now. Thank You for Listening.

Everyone when you are ready please start a Thread on Your Story.

 [ send green star]

 [ accepted]

Marilyn, everyone of us has story and a past. Our lives are on different path - that mold us into somebody special. I have a good friend who has never seen or heard from his parent. He lives in an orphage too and eventually study and save for his education... he found God (like you) and he is full of love for people around him (just like you). He left for his hometown to Boston to earn his master degree. I met him couple of years back and I recalled asking him about his life. He replied that God mold him to be a stronger person - forget about the past and press forward. He told me that he has so much things to do for society and there is no point looking back. I am thankful that I had a short conversation with him during my vacation and thanked God for granting me a new lesson. You can do it too.

 [ send green star]  [ accepted]

Thank You Rev. and Peggy. I appreicate your thoughful words. They really do help. 

Rev, whenever you are ready to tell your story we will be here for you. I understand about what you are saying about telling your story and someone really reading it. And as you know I will read it through carefully. when someone speaks through their heart, then the one who is reading it through their heart is a true listener. There have been a lot that has read my story (and I summited in several groups)but, only a few read it from their heart. That is one reason we opened this group. Here are people that know how to listen from their heart. And will speak back to you from their heart. so glad to have you here in this group. And any time you are ready to tell your story we will be listening. Thank You. 

Peggy, I am so glad to see you here. You and Rev are like a part of me. We just seem to click together as a team. Thank you for your inspiration. And I am glad you are here to!

 [ send green star]

 [ accepted]

Ive already given my story

but as said we must move on,

dwell in the past and we have regrets

dwell in the future and we can have fear

dwell in "NOW" and that shapes the future

every bad thing that has come in our lives can be turned into a positve,

just think of how many people that are gong through right now what you have gone through, who better to help them than those that have travelled the road,

if I go to a strange country and into the wild where i have never been, I get a guide who knows the place im going well and I can have faith in him to get me through and safely out,

so to you we are all guides for those that are lost in the jungle of the world, and who better to guide them than a special person like you,

lets us say together "we have NOT suffered in vain" for we will save others,

even here in care2 you are doing just that, your life is very important to those in need,

the bible says in revelation about the end times, "by there testimony"  that is what will save people your testimony

Love and light to you precious souls

Mike

 [ send green star]

 [ accepted]