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Alison, Re: 'Wounded Bird Syndrome' May 30, 2004 11:34 AM

Hi Alison, thought we could start here. Opening statements all yours, I'll be sure to jump right in.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 June 01, 2004 2:07 AM

Sassy, Geez, I'm trying to remember exactly what I was talking about. Rather than go back, I think what I mean about the "wounded bird" is that, unfortunately, many of us are, including men. What we do about it is the key. Staying wounded is like anything else...being a victim. I seek solution through action. Sometimes that comes through in anger; rather than turning it in & getting depressed, I choose to shoot straight from the hip. My son (16 & very wise)gave me a card with a picture of a women in a platinum wig, pink cat's eye sunglasses, cigarette dangling (real attitude), that said "Old enough to know better, young enough not to give a rat's ass." I love it so much. It makes me laugh.I put it on my bulletin board. He says he understands my appreciation for the absurd. How good that makes me feel coming from a teenager who's been on this earth many times before. He has been my sage since birth. I don't really know where I'm going with this, except to say that finding humour in some of the more painful experiences can bring light and laughter, releasing pain, leading us to the "higher self"...  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Hi Alison......... June 01, 2004 9:24 AM

Well there's at least two things we have in common. I also have a teenaged son (14) who is very obviously an old soul, and he too has me figured out for all I am and loves me for it (and laughs his head off for it too at times (I love the card your son bought you, that's way cool). Moving on here, the other would be how we handle depression, I too get angry, especially if a person has something to do with that depression. I cannot allow myself to feel defeated or hurt or what have you so somehow I just end up totally p-i-s-s-e-d! How odd, I never knew anyone else that 'did' that, 'till now. *smiles* to you and your son.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
It's hard to let go of someone who really mattered... June 01, 2004 11:03 AM

Sadness, anger, hurt, emptiness, regret, etc. Anger is the next step after sadness, it's like redirecting your energy so that you don't feel the hurt, but then you create all kinds of new problems, or spread the hurt. I more tend to feel the hurt. I occassionally do get angry if someone is not listening to me or if I am not being validated but criticized instead. How do you create a possitive energy from hurt, and let go of what you miss? I guess that you just have to accept your circumstances, embrace them, and commit to letting go and move on. I have found that how I perceive a situation, and how I frame it into the bigger picture has helped me cope with many difficult circumstances.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
No real answer...... June 01, 2004 4:53 PM

I guess it really is just a matter of riding it out 'till the hurt stops. I think the anger is a defense mechanism....works better then spending an eternity listening to all the sad songs and bawling over every line that provokes a memory. May not be the wisest choice but at that point a person is just seeking comfort anyhow. I truly wish I had something to offer here.... unfortunately I think it comes down to licking the wounds and sowly healing.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Hum..I have heard June 01, 2004 5:44 PM

that it is a myth, the hurt never goes away, but maybe something new comes? Anyways, why choose anger when there are so many emotions to choose from. Why not choose humour?!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 June 01, 2004 5:47 PM

Humour is a part of my daily life no matter what. I never forget to laugh or make someone laugh. Smiles too and this one's for you ((((Smile))))  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
he he June 01, 2004 6:33 PM

he I knew you'd like that!  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 June 01, 2004 9:18 PM

Got a good laugh from the ensuing discussion on anger vs other emotions. We seem to be on the same page. I agree anger is the next phase after hurt. Believe me, have been there too many times...that phrase "wallowing in pain, self-pity oozing from every pore" - that's why I so desire to get past the hurt, through anger and on to solution. More often than not, I simply tell the person how I am FEELING. More often than not, they don't hear that word, they react as though being attacked. Long and short is it takes tremendous tact, diplomacy, and persistence to get my point across clearly, really trying not to step on toes...sometimes I just give up and laugh (if seen laughing, it really p-i-s-s-e-s the friend off, which makes it even harder not to laugh in their presence...))  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
THAT'S what I wanted to say................. June 01, 2004 9:28 PM

But I don't have the skills :o( So well put...and funny too, lol Now you made me smile so here's one back  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 June 02, 2004 5:36 PM

Sassy, dahling, if I can make you laugh, I have done just one more good deed for the day... best, al  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Thanks June 03, 2004 12:42 AM

You're nice  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
anonymous  June 03, 2004 8:46 AM

Well Ur Hot!  [report anonymous abuse]  [ accepted]
 
*giggles* June 03, 2004 12:09 PM

Back again...........?  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Agreed! June 06, 2004 9:59 PM

Yep, laughter is the best medication for most things in life! If you can laugh at yourself yet still remain secure, the Wounded Bird syndrome does not apply!  [ send green star]
 
wounded, not dead June 18, 2004 6:36 PM

Hi you, you, you. What the heck to do? Poor Tony Soprano (not real name) - in the grips of alcohol abuse and congenital heart disease, he's trying so hard to hang on to me. I'm saving myself and may have no alternative but to leave until he starts doing some of the work too. Hey! OK, OK, I take the blame for everything - so what? I don't care to be right, just content. Would love to hear from you all. best, alison  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
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