A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game.
The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.
So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes.
The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes.
Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?"
The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart.
The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?"
" Throw away any hatred for anyone from your heart so that you will not carry sins for a lifetime. Forgiving others is the best attitude to take. "
Learn to Forgive and Forget.".
HELLO ALL TO YOU MY WONDERFUL FAMILY...I LOVE YOU ALL AND MISS YOU SO STOPPED IN TO SAY I MISS YOU ALL!!! PLUGGING AWAY AT SCHOOL.
LOVE & HUGS,
I wonder if there are enough potatoes to hand out in our country with all the hate expressed non-stop as it does.
When my ex-wife found out she had terminal lung cancer she wrote to me and said it was time to make amends, I didn't even know what amends was and discovered that was to make things right between us. She was dying and didn't want to leave life with any ill feelings with anybody who had been in her life. 'Forgiveness' is nice but that going through making things right with another human being that was part of my life was truly rewarding. I can love or hate with the reality that is only a choice but it doesn't make sense to make choices where in the long run I still end up making amends or making things right between myself and others in my life. She left me with a gift with making amends as the "till death do we part" of our relationship came to an end.
Just remember Ken that love conquers all at the end of the day and what your ex wife did was a very noble and brave thing to do, as so many leave this planet with an overload of false pride, no room for forgiveness nor the making of amends...I do believe she loved you enough to do so...
I don't doubt her love but I shared the part about making amends which was making things right between us so she could leave this life and move on to the next. Actually 'love' is an over-played word to me. Even with going through making things right between us we never earned each others trust and respect in the first place which is something that does not happen automatically in the future. She hung on for thirteen months so no stone was left unturned. To this very day the reward she left was the making amends and unlike most I do not get involved with those who I can not earn their trust ands respect nor could they earn my trust and respect.
Another thing is what I see as a total ignorance in understanding our gender roles in relationships. I doubt many males understand the responsibility and accountability that goes along with their roles in relationships with females. Some of my ex's last words were, "I was her rock in her life." My main point about being somebody's rock in life sucks without any trust and respect in such a relationship.
But there was an explanation to this good-bye. We had lost a daughter to suicide twenty years and two days before my ex-died. When that happened I heard my ex cry and totally knew that I was the one who was the cause of that crying. I divorced because we had no trust and respect for one another so all I could do is protect and defend myself. But divorce is man's idea and it's written that whatever God puts together let no man take apart. Children put God in the equation and that bonds two people together which is till death do we part. Our relationship only ended with her death and the importance of getting involved with another person set in my mind how important it is in actually being responsible and accountable for my role in another human beings life. Death in my case was a reward of being released from the worst mistake I could have ever made in life so it ended up being a blessing in actually freeing me from the burden of my own awareness of the mistake. It was more like an honest to God miracle to me. Miracles aren't painful and sure don't need explaining!
Death may be a blessing in some respects (those that are suffering from a terrible disease) but death is never a reward and I'm sure, in your daughter's case, it wasn't. I agree with Elaine...your'e wife did a noble and brave thing. She made things right with God and that in itself, needs no explanation.
But she always made things right for mainly herself and her wants, needs and desires were always hers and hers alone. When two people join together and bring human life into this world the doing things for oneself such as she did belongs to both people involved which even with this noble act in your opinion was for her good to leave this world. Even in our communication at the time this took place she brought up the damage she caused what was suppose to be our relationship and stated she didn't have time for that because of her dying. My point in this being a blessing for me was that I fully acknowledge I enabled her to control and manipulate me and honestly did not know what to do about it. I divorced her to protect and defend myself from her control and manipulation yet the bond of having children wasn't over till her death. To make where I am coming from look at your own feelings about our president. The same type of deceit and deception was used to control and manipulate people into getting him into office and the same exact feelings of not knowing how to deal with that being controlled and manipulated show up in your posts. If there was anything noble about this in my life it was my faith in God relieving me of the burdens of a big mistake I made from my own ignorance. Her death was like being released from prison and while we might have made things right between us for her to leave life there would never be any trust or respect for her because that was violated to much in life and could not be undone. Now I at least have a life to live for who knows how long and I am appreciative of this which I can be more cautious how I live. I can go to a sales-person and see them be noble while at the same time know that their nobility is for what will profit themselves so I sure am not into the noble bit.
If I understand you correctly, you feel that your wife had to die in order for you to be released from your committment "Til death to Us Part"???
Had I waited for my ex to die, who by the way, physically and mentally abused me and threatened my life, I would have never been blessed with the wonderful husband of 42 years that I have now. Although he is very sick with terminal cancer at the moment, we are praying for a better tomorrow and believe that God brought us together for a reason. Our faith has never waivered and we'll continue to thank him every day for the life we have had together. God rewarded me with a good man and I'll never believe that he would punish me for breaking a committment to a man who had many demons.
The quote above was sent to me and wasn't directed at you personally. It's to remind people that one does not always get the chance to say 'goodbye'. In my case, it's directed to those who refuse to come to terms with their anger and will never get the chance for that final farewell. It's a painful burden they will carry and regret for the rest of their lives.
Elaine.......I couldn 't sent you a green star so I'm sending you this instead.
No, you do not understand me in any way which shows in what you wrote! In what I read that you wrote I can not see in any way that you take responsibility for your own actions and choices in your own life. Just like my wive and various other affairs I've been involved with in my own life it's my own choice making that I am fully aware of can make the difference between heaven or hell in life. I have already acknowledged that I knew I made a mistake marrying my wife which I am making it clear that in no way am I saying she was a mistake. My mistake was that my ignorance about forming relationships was running on empty and fell for controlling and manipulating which instead entering the relationship with strength I offered weakness. I tried to bring up how government controls and manipulates to have people look at how they feel about our president which I had hoped to use as a comparison to what I felt getting wrongly involved with another in a relationship.
I truly became aware of my mistake with my wife when I attempted to encourage our daughter to want to live. The main way I tried to encourage her was by intentionally putting all my effort into earning her trust and respect which I did not know enough to do with getting involved with my wife. It's the fact that even though I didn't intentionally make the mistake of not earning my wife's trust and respect, I still made the mistake and there was absolutely no escaping that. I hadn't heard from my ex for over twenty some years when she wrote about her terminal cancer so she really wasn't on my mind. Actually my first thoughts about the cancer were how worthless I used to feel trying to get her to quit smoking so the lack of trust and respect we never earned from one another I place on my shoulders because of the responsibility I felt I had to show for our daughter and ex and other daughter.
The daughter that killed herself left everything in writing and I saved the letters from my ex and combined these together and added my input where I fit in their lives. There is more hate expressed for me in this stuff and then when it came time to die there is love. So quite frankly female emotions are the most unreliable thing any male could ever count on as whoever those they loved one day would be hated the next and visa-versa. I was so tired and did the best I could living with the mistake I knew I made that I felt God's Love more with their deaths. I mean the one killing herself consumed me and my ex filled the void long before that took place. I ended up so tired of relationships even though I gained great strength from those that have been in my life. This for me ended up like feeling more of a reward of having some of my life to live my way being more aware of exactly how precious my life really is and now know how to live it. That's God's gift to me in my mind. I have one daughter left and just like her mother and sister nothing my male being could say makes any difference to her and that's til death do we part from my mistake I made in the first place. That's just the way life is!
You're absolutely right...I don 't understand you. It must be a man thing...been there done that and am moving away from this converstation. Sending you blessings instead of green stars.
This post was modified from its original form on 29 Jan, 7:53
Simply put you wrote about your ex abusing you but like those females that have been in my life never have I ever seen those females accept the responsibility for their own behaviors in what they do that produces a male's behavior of defiance towards females. My wife and daughters played others for their sympathy by bad-mouthing me every chance they got. But then it's time to die and I am told I am loved when all they did their whole life was contradicting that is the same as I seen you not understanding, but ignoring how your own behavior doesn't show responsibility or accountability to me. But to take that farther look at society as a whole and apply this same irresponsible and unaccountable behavior to where everybody and everything is wrong with the whole world to see where we're headed. Like you how many are willing to accept the responsibility for their own ignorance in choice making when you entered the marriage with someone who you accused of abusing you. There has to come a time when people own up to their own roles in life and understand the damage we do to one another by not doing so.
Domestic violence is unwarranted in any relationship. No woman (or man) deserves to be beaten regardless of their behaviour. I certainly didn't deserve what I went through but you wouldn't know that....you don't know me. No further explanation is neccesary...end of conversation. Have a good day!
Oh Ken...Get over YOURSELF..please!!! Everything I have read above that you wrote is about me...me...me...me, the way I felt or the way I feel..or my feelings....or she never took any responsibility of how to treat me and on and on!! You were not released from anything when your x-wife died...she still controls your emotions and how you feel and WHAT you feel towards anyone including yourself! So sorry..no you have not been freed by her death! I have heard your story here like this endless times! It's pretty much about blaming the "other"person for all of your miserable happenings in life and you STILL don't take on the responsibility for your own actions. You whine about people not understadning you and being in a realtionship the way YOU want THEM to be...well get over it...a relationship is a 2 way street!! We ALL screw up...We ALL are suppose to learn from our mistakes..we should ALL not harbor onto bad memories to the point where they affect us STILL emotionally years later...I can see this baggage still hanging onto you! It's past time for you to grow up and realize it is the womanly/manly thing to do to apologize and to ACCEPT an apology as sincere and THEN MOVE ON from one who has wronged us and IF that does not happen then the one to accept the apology that refuses to is the loser!! Stop being a loser and grow up!!!
And thanks Elaine for adding this great story! I had read it a couple days ago and thought WOW! Excellent food for thought!
Ken: you are a very intelligent man but you tend to get self-absorbed and the world does not revolve around you.
I know your writing style is exceptional as you do use personal experiences to relate to world events. Your using your life as a microcosm to what is wrong with the world.
I am not sure everyone here gets that point.
Don't take anything personal here.
It is not worth it.
Your input is valuable because it does give another perspective to the human tragedies, events, politics that are prevalent in our society. But, please remember that nothing is personal.
I take your style as a comparison to what is wrong with life and your personal history as the example to how you deal with today. We do learn from the past.
I often draw comparative lifestyles to current problems and I stress it is an illustration of today's events. It is a microcosm, another small world of events in relation to the big picture.
So today's news tells about Giffords speaking up for gun control yet in my being so absorbed in myself I read a post by a woman who met the right person and the one who she previously committed too was abusive to her. Unfortunately I was one of those who didn't know enough to take the time to see if a person was capable of honestly making and keeping a commitment in any manner when I married. Especially those posting in groups like this show more signs of bad mouthing our elected president and the political party they oppose and that to me displays the same behavior of the person I married. So that's more of the problem our society faces then the gun control which is in todays news and even immigration and other distracting issue.
No way is any responsibility owned up to for your roles in your own lives. Right, so you marry and make a commitment and then use nothing but words bad mouthing another human being just to justify your own behavior of not keeping your commitment to another and that's suppose to not be a problem in our society. I mean your not keeping that commitment in your mind appears to never hurt other human beings and then to promote that behavior of making commitments that won't be kept spreads over to a whole society and we wonder what the reason is we have all the killings in our own country.
My self absorption is only a sharing with hopes of offering insights to solving problems our society faces. I went through life on the other side of the problem dealing with the Young man who did the killings in Conn, the young man who did the killings in Colo, the young man who did the VA Tech killings, the two young men who did the Columbine, the young man who did the Tucson shootings and the list goes on and on. These people couldn't find anybody to listen to them because just like you wrote I'm self absorbed they faced the same mentalities so they latched out the only way they knew how. Just this last week a fifteen year old killed his mother first and then the rest of the family in New Mexico because he was frustrated with her. The young man in Conn killed his mother first. As a male I'm trying to write words that would wake minds up to problems concerning our relating to one another but actually admit that from past experiences I am fully aware that I know I am incapable of doing this.
As far as taking it personal here, enough is enough. God gave me my life to live but let the free choice in how I live my life up to me. I do take responsibility for my own past mistakes getting involved with wrong behaviors of others and I'd rather celebrate the now in my self absorption peacefully even if that could never be understood by others.
Peace and good-luck to all
As a male I'm trying to write words that would wake minds up to problems concerning our relating to one another but actually admit that from past experiences I am fully aware that I know I am incapable of doing this.
Ken..If this is the case then I suggest you go and get some SERIOUS HELP!! Just talking about the same problem 100 times over is not going to help you because as you yourself can see you STILL continue to talk about the same thing..I have known you over a year...maybe close to 2 or more and as long as I have known you this is the very same story of your life that you appear to be hooked on!! Go and get some serious psychiatric help!!
Bad mouthing the so called President is done because he has NO respect for you or I or anyone else in this country! He has NOT EARNED respect!! He uses people to the max and has no respect for our country or anyone in it!
As far as finding out who will have respect for a commitment in a marriage before they are married.....nobody knows for sure who will be unfaithful....everyone thinks the other partner will commit...it doesn't always happen! Those who can forgive that unfaithfulness and go on living and loving is in far better shape than those like you who appear to want to hang on to this "pity me party"...get over it...let it go...concentrate on something else positive!! You are only hurting yourself and as you said above you are quite capable of murdering someone..at least this is what I gathered from your statement..now that is SERIOUS!! If you are sincere in what you are saying it should scare the hell out of you to the point of WANTING to go and get some help! Telling the rest of the world your problems dealing with an unfaithful wife (I assume) 1,000 times over is not going to help anyone else or you!!! The smart thing for you to have done was maybe leave her...find someone else who could have made you happy although for some reason I think that would be impossible the way it sounds.It sounds like you want and expect perfection...this is not a perfect life!! We have to be happy within ourselves...if it takes someone else to make us happy then we are still not going to be happy with ourselves. We have to love ourselves first before we can love anyone else! It sounds like you just plain don't like any woman who disagrees with your way of thinking..thus she is an abuser or a terrible person..sorry but that is just SO not so!!
And who do you think you are to tell anyone else they are not holding up on their responsibilities in their own lives!? You don't know what other people do in their own lives! That statement was completely off!!
The killings in this country can be helped to be stopped by stopping the horrible movies that are produced today..the same movies with the same actors and directors that scream gun control that do these shoot'm up movies!! The same druggies in the same movies pushing the pills!! The same video games with the same terrible murders and abusive actions that the people who produce them are screaming about of the horror of guns! There is so much hypocrisy in this country from the left it is pathetic and then they scream gun control! If common sense ever took over this country how same it would be!! Until then as long as we have the liberals promoting the evil agendas that the young people and those who are depressed in this country see in live action... the horror will continue! Talking about the problems are not gonna help...they need ACTION taken!! Another situation is in our schools...the programs that they are forcing on young children is abominable!!! All of these are what promotes the violence in this country and until people wake up and decide it's past time to do something it will continue! Another thing that needs to be stopped is the prescription drugs that are prescribed to our youth! A mix of drugs is lethal and it works on the brains of young people and older people! There are MANY of these things that create these young people to go bezerk!!
I do suggest strongly though for you to go and get some help...at least maybe the rest of your life can be enjoyable for you then!!
Ken: are you trying to provide an analysis of your experiences to today's major problems.
Are you doing so as a comparison and your life is a small microcosm which can be compared to particular tragedies?
Love you My precious Bling!!!
Thank you Carol just get so giddy when I see my posse come in for a visit...I thank you all immeasurably!!!
Love & Hugs
This thread certainly brings out the differences in people, we have to remember diversity is what makes it all happen as 2 snowflakes are never alike either.
Interpretations are personal and it is obvous from this thread.
I try to make it universal over personal but that is what makes me different.
As long as we can put aside nasty and learn from the other is what counts
Ken brings up those senseless, random killings from CO to CT and he is right.
There is an underlying rotteness which provokes this behavior.
It is also instability and no one catching the mental breakdown in the behavior as well.