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Fellow Group Members please Welcome May 10, 2005 4:49 AM

Fellow Group Members please Welcome our newest co-host, Tim. He has been a wonderful group member as you all have been with your lovely, gracious and wisdom filled words of encouragement, kindness and above all else non-judgment. I host about three other groups outside of this one, but folks this one is my baby group and means the most to me. I have met some lovely people here and Tim is amongst that growing list of connected souls. peace & blessings upon you all---ginger  [ send green star]
 May 10, 2005 6:18 AM

welcome 1



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 May 10, 2005 1:25 PM

Dear Tim,

Your wisdom, empathy, and sweet smile make you  a perfect co-host for this group!  Congratulations!

Giuliana aka Princess Little Rock

 [ send green star]
Thank you May 12, 2005 12:52 PM

Thank you for your gracious welcome!  As I told Ginger when she asked if I would be a co-host, and am both flattered and humbled in the role.

Allow me to offer a brief description of my most impactful grief journey.  In 1988, our barely-14-year-old only daughter was struck and killed by a 19-year-old motorcyclist.  She was on a trip to camp with my ex-wife's church's youth group, and the negligent supervision of that group (in my opinion) allowed her to be in the place where she was killed.  The method by which I was informed of her death and the struggles with my ex-wife about funeral and burial arrangements were beyond belief.  (I had sole legal and 70% physical custody when she died.)  Her death struck me particularly hard, and my mental functioning was severely reduced.  I was a Math major in college who could pull up years-old numbers from memory, but suddenly could not remember any telephone number or how to dial it without major concentration.  I would walk from one room to another and forget why I was there.  It took about 3 and 1/2 years before I felt close to my "normal' self.

During that time, I dove into reading - anything and everything that touched on philosophy, the afterlife, or any other title that happened to catch my interest as I wandered in the library.  Every now and then, a phrse or section of a book had special meaning for me so that I felt it, rather than just reading it.  Without formal counseling or help, through the Grace of God, I was lead through the grief journey and did not get stuck in pity or any of the other pitfalls.

I want to share my experience, to the extent it can help others on their individual grief journey.  I recognize that every one is on their own road and has their own perspective and background which affects that journey.  I understand that there are no "shoulds", and that no one else can tell you what is right or what will work.  They can offer suggestions, but ultimately the journey is a solitary one for each individual.  Despite their best intentions, people who have not experienced the depth of intense grief cannot understand or empathize.  Only those who have survived a similar ordeal can accept without question or judgment, knowing that presence can be the most beneficial and healing balm they can offer.

Time to step off my soapbox....thank you again!

 [ send green star]
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