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Tough seasons ahead April 30, 2010 8:57 PM

Mothers Day and Fathers Day are coming up - often difficult times for those who have lost children or their parents.  How do the members of this group cope with that kind of loss?  Do they ignore the days, or recognize them with tradition and ritual to honor the missing person(s)?  I've tried both at different times, and both have been effective for me depending on the year and my mood.  Would like to hear how others cope...

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 May 03, 2010 3:37 PM

Yes, it is a tough season upcoming - I have lost both my mother and father and my ex hustand. I get myself through it by remembering them in my heart and in my mind. I dwell on the good times and not the bad - I have had 2 moms in my life as well as two dads - you see I am an adoptee - my adopted parents are deceased - My husband and I were divorced and it was not a pleasant time or circumstance - however when I think of him I try to find good things to remember. So keep the good memories and keep yourself busy - do not dwell on the days - find something to do that you enjoy and celebrate their death by doing something you know that they would have loved.

Good luck to you ...

Peace

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I have ben missing my husband more than usual this week... May 03, 2010 5:35 PM

but I don't know that it has anything to day with father's day or mother's day...we didn't have children together.  His son from his first marriage posed some problems for me about a month ago but I think it's water under the bridge now.  Other than that, I still miss him every day, just usually not every minute of every day.  But grief journies are like that - sometimes we will find ourselves revisiting one of the previous steps we took.  Human emotion is complicated: I have no idea what sent me down this path at this particular time, but I am thinking of all of you.....

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Time goes on May 10, 2010 2:21 PM

Thanks, Janet - you are right!  Some times for me seem worse than others, and these two "Hallmark holidays" are often tough.  Keeping our loved ones memories alive while moving ahead is the key.  To paraphrase one individual I read - one moment lived in regret is one that is wasted and cannot be reclaimed...

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