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Keeping the group active June 11, 2010 7:22 AM

Hoping everyone is doing well...

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Doing well right now, Tim June 11, 2010 10:28 AM

and glad you're trying to keep the group active.  I haven't posted in a while because I haven't had anything really remarkable to say.

It's just about a year since the last time Bill visited me in my dreams - the one that was so vivid that it made me believe that 'crossing over' does happen.  Who knows, maybe he stayed around until he knew I would be ok; that may have been his goodbye until I rejoin him on the next plane of existence.

Blessing to all who come here in search of comfort - please know that you are not alone.

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 June 11, 2010 11:21 AM

This group had helped me considerably in my time of need and grief. I did not realize that no one was posting until I got this message in my email.

Is everyone doing okay?

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 June 11, 2010 11:25 AM

This group was there for me when I needed help dealing with everything in my grief. It is a shame it has 140 members who from what I see have not posted like I have not. I hope the group does stay here in case someone needs help.

How is Giuliana?

I am glad that things seem to be working out for the two of you.

Love and hugs

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Thanks June 12, 2010 7:11 AM

Good to hear from both of you!  I haven't heard from Giuliana in a long time - but hope that she is doing well!!!  Ginger is on Facebook with a similar group. 

This next two weeks is a rough time for me - Fathers Day and then Laurels birthday on the 22nd.  She would have been 31.  I haven't speculated how she would look, but my wife and mother do.  Hard to believe its been 17 years since her death.  Sometimes it feels like only yesterday.  Watched some family video from Christmas 1981 and 1985 with her in it - lots of tears, but joy as well...

Take care!

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I know exactly what you mean, Tim... June 12, 2010 5:38 PM

as Bill's 56th Birthday would have fallen on this coming Wednesday.

One minor bit of news - didn't think of it when I wrote the last post - I have found a home for his telescopes at our mutual Alma Mater, Fresno City College.  As I've mentioned in other posts, I've been trying to do some of his bucket list for him,  and taking an astronomy class is certainly on the list!!  However, with California's current crackdown on the number of lifetime units you can have and attend a State University, that will need to wait  until I have gone back to finish my MSN.  By then, the technology will be old.  So - off they go sometime in the next week or two to the astronomy and physics labs, hopefully to inspire another generation of dreamers...and in that way, Bill lives on.

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special day June 22, 2010 6:12 AM

Today would have been Laurel's 31st birthday...hard to believe she's been gone longer than she was alive.

Janet, I'm glad that you are finding a way to keep Bill "alive" and honored...I hope I am doing the same for Laurel.

Take care, all...

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This thought just occurred to me, Tim - June 24, 2010 6:54 AM

and it is that, by keeping this group alive, you are honoring Laurel's memory.  I believe that, wherever she is, she knows it and is smiling because of it.

I hope some of what I have accomplished since Bill's loss would please him, too.  I know I've made some mistakes - but I've made some good decisions as well.  Still learning, still growing...

"Life is but the youth of our eternity." - Goethe

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Thanks, Janet June 25, 2010 3:05 PM

That perspective is one that had not occurred to me...I appreciate your sharing it!  I only wish more would take advantage of the help we can offer...

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anonymous Perhaps we need tp promote the group June 25, 2010 4:36 PM

I belong to one other here on C2, and it was very active when new, now is falling by the wayside.  I guess everyone is fascinated with the new stuff, or new people to connect to on some level, but the fascination wears off.

I do remember being shocked that there weren't more grief support groups available  online when I started looking for one.  With the membership as large as it is, you can be sure than we aren't the only ones mourning somebody.

I was up in the mountains looking after a sick cousin yesterday, and driving home today stopped by their local hardware store/nursery, looking for wisteria....remembered too late that he (Bill)was the original owner of the business and drove home blue, missing him horribly.  Haven't shaken this case of the blues all day, but working at it.

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oops. that was me above June 25, 2010 4:38 PM

don't know why it came up anonymous...except trying to type around one shark of a small black cat, who thinks my arms are a perfect kitty cradle when I'm at the desk...

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Blues can happen anytime June 26, 2010 7:53 AM

One of the hardest aspects of grief, fo me, is that those blues/reaction can hit at any time, no matter how long since the loss.  It is impossible to figure out what or why something might trigger the reaction, but all one can do is just let it happen and "ride it out."  Giving yourself permission for it to happen is very important, I've found.  For me, it'll be seventeen years this August, and unexpected things can bring it back like it was yesterday.  But I now accept that reaction and let the tears and emotions flow for as long as my body and mind choose...

(And I fully understand about typing around animals - in my case, it's a small poodle who wants to help.)

Take care!

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You too, Tim June 26, 2010 10:38 AM

let's just keep it going, think about promoting it.

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Yes, I want to keep this group Active... June 29, 2010 6:37 PM

Yes, this group was originally started from my own grief, but the intent was to offer up an online support group for people to share and for someone to be here and reply, so you do not feel alone in your sorrows and grief.  We started this same group over in Facebook and there is little interaction for whatever reasons. I want us to keep this group alive. Keep on replying and talking to one another. Something I heard not too long ago from one of my favorite preachers on tv, was that when losing a loved one, you should be over their passing within a year's time. That made me freeze. And I became slightly incensed by that statement. I don't think you ever truly get over a loved one's passing. This doesn't mean you don't and won't grow and mature spiritually as a person. I just think it stays with you forever. Why wouldn't it? We are all connected...Needless to say it made me very disappointed in this man's preaching, but it took me longer and that was because there was family dysfunction and truthfully, I am still not over it and her passing. It stays there underneath everything I do in life as if I am beating and pulsating just for her in ways. I love you all and this group. No, this group will not stop. You are the heart and soul of it. Tim, I simply love you for your continued dedication to this group and the people. We shall journey on and off the beaten path as always and I miss Guiliana. But perhaps her journey in life has taken her off the beaten path. peace & blessings be and love to ALL.---ginger meeder

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