This is the how is everybody thread? June 29, 2005 5:39 AM
This is the how is everybody thread? How are you doing? Is life becoming easier to fall into the daily grind or do you find yourself lapsing into moments of grief for your loved ones during your day? Do you take private moments to allow yourself these moments of anguish to work them through mentally and spiritually? Are you someone who is a loner type that prefers to work out your moments without any human contact or one who craves human contact to bring you back to your reality of them not here on planet earth with us? Do you bury yourself into your work or life activities in order to cope with your loss? Just food for thought and conversation and wondering how all are doing. You all are never far from my mind or thoughts and prayers. And does prayer help you through some of your tough moments? Much love and blessings to all.---ginger
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2003 for me...Some of you still new with your loss... July 01, 2005 5:12 AM
I just don't ever want to forget them Skip...Sometimes I feel that they are slipping away because our lives have become so rushed, interwined and complicated. At first I admit that I did work to escape but, now I just worry that they will be forgotten and slip into crevices of life. Glad to hear from you Skip. peace---ginger
Thanks for caring, Ginger... July 02, 2005 1:34 PM
If I am o.k. healthwise, I keep rather busy with lots of things: I run errands, do house cleaning, do some gardening, read, take care of my cats, cook, make a phone call, etc. Also, I occasionally go to the pool for a good swim, or have lunch with a friend... However, no matter what I do, or where I am, Tony is always on my mind... I often talk about him because I think it's therapeutic. There are times when I miss him so much, though, that I'd rather be alone and cry... I isolate myself from the whole world around me and only resurface when I feel better... (which can even be a few days later)
Not doing too well today: it is Naomi's birthday. She would have been turning 20 this year. I was doing fine but yeasterday I was overwhelmed with sadness and today, too. I kinda feel like these next couple days are going to be hard. Naomi died just a couple days after her birthday 2 years ago. I keep remembering the trauma of my daughter and I finding her unconcious on her parents' bed. The 911 call... the emt crew, many of whom I know (it's a small town)... the horrible nightmare of it all... aaaaarrrrggghhh! I want to scream but I don't want to freak out my daughters. I could sure use some prayers and comfort right now...
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It's been twelve years for me, and the depression always comes around Laurel's birthday and the day she died. (I now don't think of how old she would be, but instead how many anniversaries of her last birthday...) I understand the urge to scream - find a place or a way to do so. Your daughters, if they hear, can understand that it is a normal emotion and acceptable way to release, as long as it is not directed at anyone. All of us here understand hurt and emotional pain....feel free to yell here as much as you want!
I understand what you must be going through... and I wish I could help you with comforting words, but I'm feeling the same without my Tony because a few days ago it would have been his Name Day... It used to be a time for celebration, while it has turned now into a day of mourning...
If you think screaming would make you feel better, please do, by all means! And remember: Ginger, Tim, and I are always available if you need to talk, cry, or a... virtual hug!
Liz, Tim & Giuliana, about all I can do is send lots of love and prayer vibes your way. I wish there was a way to undo all of our heartbreaking situations, but I have not the power to do so other than to love you all and send you my prayers and thank God every day that we have met online even if we met under such circumstances. Sometimes silence is about all I am met with. My hardest moment now is will that I do not want to forget them. To me that is the harshest reality of it all and the way we deal with it day to day, settling into our lives.
I live in a small town too Liz, where everybody knows your business before sometimes even you do. But in times like these sometimes that is either good or really, really bad. Liz, find somewhere privately that you can scream. I can connect with this feeling all too well. You need to let if off your soul too. I have and am not in the least ashamed of this emotion at all. Sometimes the absurdity and anger and sorrow at the set of circumstances can be the most harrowing of all. I wish you a good scream my dear.
Tim, good advice and I see that we both agree to find that place to scream even if they do hear you.
Giuliana, as always a light of hope and goodness, so glad we met and found your soul online my dear friend.
This is the first place I stopped online today because I have not had alot of time to do so. But you all I hold close and dear to my soul and keep within my prayers. I bid you all peace and better yet may they in some way give you a sign to comfort you and let you know how they are. How I wish the same for me with Rachel. warmly---ginger
May the fireworks that are the stars above each & every one of us twinkle & shine upon you and bless you all with their souls as they look down over us tonight blanketing you in their love.
Oh you guys are the greatest friends I could have right now. I know you understand how I'm feeling. I'm sorry you all have been and are going through this too, but I am so thankful that we've found eachother here. I cannot express it in words.
(((Tim))) (((Guiliana))) (((Ginger))) (((Tkay))): Thank you to each one of you dear special people. I've been rereading your messages to me all afternoon. I just couldn't settle down enough to answer until now. I cried to read your words of support that came so soon after my cry for help. Our tears together won't be shed in vain, for though we cannot bring back our dear departed, we can and do support eachother, and that is precious.
it's Tkay and i was just wanting to check in with you to see how you are doing. i don't drop by very often because sometimes i can't read the words without feeling so much pain for everyone. and everyone, sometimes i read your words and cry for you and don't post because i have nothing useful to say. sometimes i wish i could just say, that sucks! or something because sorry just doesn't cut it. that wasn't meant in a bad way, that's how i feel sometimes and i don't want to say anything wrong so i don't say anything sometimes. sometimes there are no words. but Liz, for some reason you are so heavy on my heart and i just wanted to check in with you and let you know that, even if you wanted to email me, i can email you back. i mean, that goes for anyone here. i'm sugerz4momma @ care2 and yahoo. also, Liz, i'm still talkin to God and asking Him to let you feel His comfort. i ask that of God all the time for everyone here.
Giuliana, thankyou for thinking of me in your last post. i didn't mean to make that be about me and my hurts. i just wanted to let Liz know that i kind of understand what certain days can do to us. anyway, i really like how you all just kind of jump in when you see someone needing a few kind words or anything. i hate it that this is where we all have to meet, but i'm so thankful for it.
and thankyou for all that sent me a birthday card. the first one i got was from Tim. do you know how that made me feel? i really needed that. i'm so thankful for all of you and i wish i could know what to say to make the hurts go away. or at least let you all know that i would be honoured if you let me be a life line for you if ever you need somebody.
I found a perfect venue for screaming all I wanted: last night at our town's fireworks display! Sounds kinda crazy, but everyone was hollering anyway so I figured I could let it out and who would know? Okay, maybe I'm losing it. But really I do feel better today than I have in the last several days.
I'm a little cautious to say all is well though, because tomorrow is The Day. I'm lavishing attention on my 2 daughters (who are also grieving Naomi in their own ways). And Naomi's sister (who is staying with us this summer even though her family lives across the field from us). I think we may do a little ceremony this evening, light candles and write messages to Naomi that we will burn to send to her in the spirit world. We did this shortly after her death and it was very meaningful to us.
I really appreciate all the loving care, blessings, and prayers you have all given me, and the personal messages, too. I can tell you that it has helped enormously. May you all be blessed and know that you are most appreciated and loved in return.
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Tkay, sharing our own sorrows and hurting souls and incidents and situations is nothing to ever to fear sharing. Share all you want and even if you don't feel capable of sharing then just send your loving vibes. I sense that you already do this. Sometimes that is about all we can do. Some us can barely crawl out of bed and tap away on the computer key board until we get that edge back. And even then the edge has relapses. Tkay, I hope that you found your scream release also.
And yes Liz, I am glad to hear back from you about your fireworks scream fest. I bet that felt good. I hope & pray it gave you some release and peace. You all deserve it.
Princess G., my new nickname for you.I hope this is alright. I bid you also a hello and that I continue to think of you within my prayers and thoughts. I just wish that my energy wasn't so tapped out at this moment in my life, you all deserve so much more. peace-out---ginger
AS always thinking of you folks..... August 04, 2005 6:34 PM
AS always thinking of you folks.....I finally have a day and half off between my two jobs. Today I worked half a day and did the usual laundry and was able to hang it outside. I always enjoy hanging out our clothes in the beautiful sunshine. It always makes our clothes look and smell better then they actually are. LOL But enough of my rambling, I just wanted to check in on you all. warmly---ginger
Sometimes it is so sad, you would think that we would have the words for each other! But there are no words, just support. Even though I dont get here often it helps me sometimes just knowing that you guys are here, even if I don't know you well at all yet.
I agree with Karen. I wish I could do more for others. I was kiddingmyself earlier in this thread, trying to build the wall quickly before tomorrow gets her. I didn't make it. I can't sleep and am very emotional (which I hide - and I want to hide) So, I'm just going to make it through tomorrow, not that I have a choise, one way or another. Thank you, everyone here. Just for being here.
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Heya Skip & Karen and All..... August 10, 2005 3:50 PM
Heya Skip & Karen and All.....No hurries, no worries, even if they do pile up in day to day life. I always come here to find the love and check in on you all. One thing I have learned from my sorrow trails, no pressures. Life is rough and tough enough without making it worse or harder on everybody else and that includes ourselves. Sending out love vibes your way folks. Skip, sometimes those are the days we need to barely eek through and someone will be here for you tomorrow. Just glad you came here. I hope you find some sort of strength or comfort. peace & blessings---ginger
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August 11, 2005 10:35 AM
Skip, Sometimes "building the wall" works to help us get through a particularly rough patch... and sometimes it doesn't. How are you doing today? There are times when all we can do is slog through the day, just getting by, but eventually the rainbow comes and we have ridden out another storm of emotions.
Ginger, I like your attitude of no pressure! You said, "Life is rough and tough enough without making it worse or harder on everybody else and that includes ourselves." I need to be reminded of that occasionally. Thank you, my dear friend.
Everybody, I am so grateful to have this group to always be there for me, and for all of us. Thank you to each of you for however much you participate, whether it be actively posting and responding to posts, or just reading through when you have the chance and giving out good wishes. It all helps.
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I think what helps the most is to know that sometimes no words are necessary... Each one of us has lived through different experiences, yet the feelings are the same and we don't need to describe them. This is a great support group... There's always somebody avaiable to give some encouragement... or say a prayer... or create a magic atmosphere of love and empathy. This is priceless. With blessings always,