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the passing June 25, 2006 10:55 AM

 Hi everyone. I have been resisting joining this group for some time because I guess I was a little afraid of the possible pain. But it is a wonderful idea to share such deep and important moments in our lives with others. I have an offering to this group which I found on another group I am a member of - Love Tolerance and Other Ridiculous Things - clearly the author has been through the loss of someone very dear...Love to you all...A. Taliz

The Passing November 15, 2005 10:06 AM

In the still seconds before you passed
That late fall afternoon
I could feel you preparing to leave me
I looked upon your face
And a thousand memories flashed through my mind

I “saw” your smile
Waking me
First thing in the morning
I saw your stern seriousness
Warning me of an ill chosen path
But most of all I saw your eyes
Loving me
All my life
Until that day

I touched your hand
Still slightly warm with life
But chilling with the cold of approaching death
It’s familiar landscape of veins and strong fingers
Causing me to relive
All of the feelings of security and strength
Your hands had offered me through the years

I wanted so badly for you to stay
I hated the thought that you would be gone
That I would no longer be able to talk to you
Hold you
Hug you
Tell you I loved you
Smell the “you” in your shirts
Ask you the questions
That I only felt safe
Asking you

But most of all I didn’t want to live in a world
That you weren’t in
I didn’t want to wake up without knowing I could see you
Hear your voice
Feel your presence
Endure all those irritating habits you had
Which I now would give anything
To “endure” just once more

I miss you so much
I miss you more than any human being I have ever known
And loved
And “lost”
I miss you so much that a decade has passed
And it still seems like yesterday
That you were gone

But your passing has taught me something incredibly precious
A thing of inestimable worth

I now desire to live without regret
Without “wishing”
Without wondering
“What might have been”
If I had done what I really wanted to do
Had said what I really longed to say
Had given what I really felt moved to give

You exhaled that one last long final breath
And you left
I knew it
I felt it
And in that moment
Everything that might have been
Or could have been
Or should have been
Ceased to exist
The books were closed
Not one more word could be added
Not one more deed penciled in
That you would hear or feel
Coming from my heart

And I learned

We must love all we can
While we can
Because we can
If we are wise

For the passing of those we love
Comes to us all
And while attempting to live without regrets may be hard
Living with them is infinitely harder

If you’ve missed the “golden opportunities”
With loved ones who have passed
Don’t punish yourself one moment longer
For those things you cannot change
Instead let them fuel your most righteous instincts
And energize your most loving and giving motivations

Do all you can do and more
To tell those you love
And to show those you love
That you love them
While all of you are still alive

Let deeply sorrowful loss
Become incentive for the gain of countless others
Build a memorial to those you wished you had loved more
By loving those you can
While you can

Love them all
And with all
The love in your heart

If a man would live wisely, let him take hold of his last day, and the last days of others, and make them his constant companions. -Inspired by John Bunyan with significant amendments
 [ send green star]
 June 25, 2006 2:49 PM

Dear Ann,

How beautifully touching!  I thought I'd save it in my "special folder", if you don't mind...  I understand the feelings you expressed so well because I experienced them myself not too long ago...

Thanks for sharing.  Blessings and love,

Giuliana aka Princess Little Rock

 [ send green star]
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