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Newbie July 23, 2005 4:21 PM

I'm a newbie - but unfortunately not new to this subject. I'm also a struggling survivor, now at the age of 39 many things still bring back the hurt and memories as if it were only yesterday. I am married with two children of my own and feel like I worry constantly to leave them out of my site. It is comforting to know there are others who endure and try to survive the same feelings. Thank you  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Peace and Light to All October 06, 2005 5:00 PM

Theresa, I hope that your family is getting all of the proper help needed to heal from their terrible ordeal. It took me many, many years to be able to talk about my abuse. It started when I was only 4 and continued until I was nearly 11. I wasn't able to speak about it until I was 38, but eventually I spoke about it publicly. This, I did to help others, as well as myself to overcome the shame and embarrassment attached to being a victim of sexual abuse. Children can not differentiate doing something wrong and having something wrong done to them. I believe that is why so many of us that are older never told what was happening to us. I am so happy that it is a subject that is so widely talked about to children now. I now have 3 beautiful grandchildren of my own and the very thought of anyone doing to them what was done to me, makes me sick to my stomach. Thankfully, my two daughters were never, to my knowledge, abused in any way. They are now 34 and 37. My mother and my aunt have both told me stories of their own sexual abuse, and my grandmother told me of abuse suffered at the hand of her step-father. So, if there is a generational curse, if you will, attached to this abuse issue, I hope that it ended with me. I pray that all of us are truly healed and/or healing that fit into the catagory of sexually abused children. It is a terrible thing to be robbed of the innocense of a child. However, we can never be robbed of the childlike wonder that still lies ahead of us, in this life or the one to come. My best to all, Christine  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
new member October 14, 2005 1:06 PM

Candie, Christine, all members: My name is Sandy S and I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (from both my step-"father" and step-"uncle"). It still takes its toll on me sometimes; it took me many years to realize I did nothing to "invite" that behavior. I'm sure I would try to kill anybody who did that to my child. Thank you for letting me be a part of your group. I hope to be able to help somehow.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Adult Survivors October 14, 2005 2:15 PM

I wanted to let you all know that I have a group for Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual abuse. Come join us at Painfulsmiles of adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Patty  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
Isn't It A Shame.. October 23, 2005 9:32 PM

..this group has to exist? Hi. I'm new here too. I'm 39, i was sexually abused for 10 years starting at the age of 3-4 (every day for a few years) by several different family members, and i've never really gotten over it. I've been in therapy for 11 years. I used to be a hot mess..now i'm just a mess, lol. It's helped some..i don't want to kill my abusers anymore..but i still can't forgive them. I don't trust anyone. Period. I've never gotten married, and never had kids. I didn't really ever want any until last year. That chance passed this year, so now i'm not having any. I'm cool with it; i would've driven them crazy anyway. I'd have been scared to let them out of my sight, or my home. I couldn't leave them with a babysitter or a family member to watch because i can't trust anyone. They probably wouldn't have been able to trust anyone either, because kids learn from their parent's actions over their words, so i'm figuring this situation turned out to be exactly the way it was supposed to be. So..i'm glad you all are here. If any of you have gotten over this (and i don't know that any of us ever do), or have gotten better about this to where you live a 'normal life' (whatever that is), i'm open to your suggestions and/or advice. If you haven't and need to vent, i'm here.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
 October 28, 2005 3:46 PM

Hi. My name is Karen. I was sexually abused from as young as I can remember until 1991 by an uncle and a grandmother. The uncle died in a car wreck in 1991, and the grandmother died of cancer in 1991. I was also abused by a babysitter who also died in a car wreck when I was small. I now have a foster son who was abused by a so-far-unknown-person. He is only 3 years old, and my heart is breaking. My foster son is my husband's nephew. He lived with his birth parents until age 17 months, then in non-family foster care until the state agreed to certify us to have him 9 months later. The first 26 months of his life were HELL. At some point during that hell, he was hurt by someone (going by his behavior and nightmares), and we don't know for sure who.  [ send green star]  [ accepted]
 
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