Women of the Well

I'm a survior of Domestic Violence.

My last LTR was good and bad. He and I owned our own business. We traveled around the SE USA. We took trips to Mexico and Costa Rica for buiness and pleaure. We'd stay for a month at a time. We sold Bromeliads and ended up moving down to Florida. We even was able to do Epcot's Flower and Garden Show, Silver Dollar City's Craftsman Fest, Dollywood's Craft Fest, and sold our product to Bush Gardens in Tampa Bay. Was a very exciting life. I loved every minute of it. Our professional relationship was beautiful. We were the greatest team.

At home, things were different. Verbal, spiritual, physical, mental and emotional abuse was frequent by him. One of our disagreements turned very physical. He hit me so hard, I fell down the steps and broke my elbow. Now I'm still carrying that wound. I have limited movement in my right elbow. I can barely move it. It's in a "locked" position. The doctors tried, but no luck.

I still stayed with him after this. I was very afraid. I didn't know where to turn or what to do.  5 years of this. 5 years of his abuse. there are many things that happened during this time. I won't bore you with all the details but I'll tell you I finally got the courage to leave him. I turned to my family for help and support.

The moral of the story is simple. If you are a victim of abuse of any type - please find your inner strength and courage - and make it stop. I know how scary it is to do. Please - females and males - don't allow yourself to be abused in any shape, form or fashion!

Love, Peace and Light

~WickieCat

I am a survivor of childhood abuse at the hands of my step-father as well as later abuse at the hands of my ex husband (we were married too young and only for a year).  Getting in touch with that inner strength is a long road, mine started at age 6. I am now very aware of everthing and anything that smacks of abuse on any level when it comes to relationshiips. I test them. Not in the bad way, but in the good, using my common sense and awareness of the fact that I draw to me and am drawn to abusers.  Just seem to give off that aura.  I have a new rule of thumb, if i find myself wildly attracted to someone, I know to run the other direction. 

But if I find myself curious? I stick around and glad I am to have done so. I've met a very decent man.  And we are taking things VERY slow, he understands what i've been through and is extremely compassionate.


It took a long time to get to this place.

"I have a new rule of thumb, if i find myself wildly attracted to someone, I know to run the other direction."

Yes. I found this too, after a childhood of being abused by my mother, then several SO's - I finally learned that attraction is no measure-tape for me on the quality of the relationship - other than I am setting myself up for another abusive relationship.

Today I 'smell' out the abusive and violent women, and  simply avoid them.

Thank you both for sharing your realities

SB

I also have been a victim of abuse...when I was young, 7 years old...I was molested daily by the man that owned the local grocery store. He used to take me to the back behind the meat counter and threatened me with cutting off my fingers if I ever told...and I never did until I was 40. This man died, and he still haunts me to this day. My solution to his "comebacks"...I go get a six pack, drink it down...then I go to the cemetary and relieve myself. Not very lady like, but, the satisfaction that I get from it is quite rewarding, especially when I know deep in my heart that he can't hurt me ever again. I was touched and fondled by cousins and an uncle during my pre-teen years...I developed, or should I say blossomed quite early as a youngster...I started wearing a bra in 3rd grade. And it seems that those types on men seemed to be the ones I chose to be with. I have only had 4 serious realtionships in my life...my ex husband...I used to say he beat on me. He just toyed with me like a cat does a mouse. The icing on the cake for me was...Scrap...yep, that was what they called him. Should have been my first clue!! He beat me like I have never been beaten before...I had 2 black eyes, my face was unrecognizable in the mirror...broken nose...busted lips. He had broken 3 ribs...one of which never healed correctly...and still to this day pains me when it rains or gets cold. Bruises everywhere...I found out the next night as he was bragging about what he had done at a bar...the bartender was a friend of mine...that he actually knocked me out first and then beat the %#&!*% out of me. Why? Because he was scared...I am almost 6 foot tall and he knew he would have a fight on his hands if I was fully aware of what was going on. I left him immediately...but he stalked me and I eventually had to move to another town, where he also found me...it took almost a year to be rid of him. I met my last ex, who was younger...but was sexually abusive...took 6 years to get away from him. He scared me!! Scared me to the point that I was afraid to leave, that's why I stayed so long. I did meet a man after that, and thought I had found the man of my dreams...well, if anybody sees him tell him I said HI...he left the day before Christmas 2 years ago, to go to his mother's house, and I haven't seen or heard from him since. So, here I sit...alone. I have been on my own now, for 2 years, no man, only a couple of dates, and I find that I am happy and content. I don't miss the drama, the fighting and arguing, the tension. Someday my prince will come!!! As soon a s Cinderella is done with him...LOL!!!!!!!

I'm so glad we all have gotten out of our abusive relationships...

This is an issue that touches me and hurts too. Thanks for sharing everyone!!  ~Tera