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WHEN YOU DON'T LIKE YOUR HUSBAND'S SISTER September 13, 2005 7:23 PM

I found this article and thought it would be a good one to post and discuss...if anyone had issues like this..I can't say that I have this problem..Jerry's sister is a very sweet and caring person..same age as I am..

When you don't like your husband's sister
When you don't like your husband's sister Being forced to interact with someone when you don't like him or her can be difficult at the best of times. When the person happens to be your husband's sister and you are newly engaged or married, it can become a recipe for disaster!

The stereotypical 'nanad' or sister-in-law seen in Bollywood movies till as recently as the 90s was backbiting, snide and a snitch who continuously taunted her new 'bhabhi'. She never lent a helping hand, always made outrageous demands and had a spineless slob for a husband. This Bollywood sister-in-law was easy to hate and all black.

Fortunately, sisters-in-law in real life are not all black. Like most other people they are shades of grey. But what do you do if you happen to dislike your 'grey' sis-in-law?

Drown her in sugar syrup
Let me explain before you start stirring kilos of sugar over the stove to make the syrup... If your sister-in-law has a comment for everything you do - or don't do - then just agree with her. You heard that right - Agree with her!

The best way to shut someone up is to agree with them. So if she says something like, "The dal is not as great as mummy used to make it", you say, "I know. Next time I'll tell mummyji you asked for her to make it!" Either she will get an earful from your mother-in-law or at the very least you'll get out of cooking the dal.

Another option is to compliment her so often that she thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread. Let her know you think her hair is beautiful, her skin radiant and her clothes make a fashion statement. Which woman can be mean or rude to someone who can't stop complimenting her?

Fight fire with fire
No, I don't mean go the old 'kerosene, matchbox and fire her in the kitchen' way! For all the women who are too candid, too blunt, and simply too outspoken and cannot stand to play the kitchen games that go on in every household - you may as well be direct.

The next time you are attacked or provoked by your sister-in-law simply confront her. Try telling her that her behavior is hurtful to you and you would like to have an amicable relationship with her. If she cannot stop hurting you then it is best if you keep your interaction to a minimum.

Now, chances are that like most bullies your sister-in-law will realize that you are no longer willing to be the victim and back off. If not, at least you'll have got it off your chest and venting your anger can be pretty darn cathartic in itself!

Accepting reality
All jokes apart, the fact is that your husband's sister is an important person in your life. If you could treat her the way you expect your husband to treat your own sister, then things might be a whole lot easier.

Try and maintain dignity at all times. Getting involved in slanging matches and exchanging insults will only make everyone miserable - most of all - your husband.

The best thing to do is be as pleasant as you can and keep the meetings to a minimum. If you sister-in-law must be a sour lemon you might as well make some lemonade!
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