START A PETITION37,000,000 members: the world's largest community for good
Group Discussions
4 years ago

um just got a new question I need some help answering.. my mom has been doing some cleaning and found some boxes that were mine.. In one of the boxes was me and my best friend when we were kids.. we had a box together with our "treasures" so now I have this box.. but she is not my friend anymore haven't talked to her for over 10years or so.. when we got into our teens she took the path or smoking and drinking and I took the path of nerd.. so we slipped apart.. but the thing is that I feel that this box is not mine to keep.. I took out my things when I was still a kid and tried to talk to her about it but only got blown off sins I was not cool.. .. but what should I do with the things I consider to be hers? its some photos, a journal and some small trinkets.. should I put it all in a box and hope I mail it to the correct person? she has a very common name.. should I put it in my attic and never think about it agin.. or trow it away?! I have no idea!! HELP! -missy-

4 years ago

Hi Missy,

Since she blew you off for not being cool, the box is probably of no importance to her, and you might as well throw it out. She is busy with choking from the cigs, and working on the lung cancer, and also the liver cancer, so by the way, you  made a good choice becoming a nerd. You must have been a whole lot smarter than your old buddy.


Most of my buddies are now dead, but like you, I became the nerd and lived... OH, my neighbor called my Mother to let her know that she liked me better when I drank... I was 40 when she called her, and, married.


Not everybody feels sentimental about child hood  things. I tried to call an old friend from school, and I have not seen her in 50 years. She would not even come to the phone. I only wanted to talk about old times. She moved to another state.

4 years ago

Well, like Donna says, you could just throw it out. Or try to reach this person one last time to see if she really wants it or not. This way you can see if she is still the same person or has changed. You never know what time can do to a person. Then you can put your conscious at ease and know what to do. I know you have a good heart by wanting to make the right choice. At least here you can ask and weigh your answers in what to do. I hope it helps.

4 years ago

I would parcel it up and post it to her last known address, with return to (your address if not delivered) you will have done your best for an ex ungrateful friend, up to her what she does with her old stuff, should she want to thank you , that option is available too, in the end you do what feels right for you Missy. that way you know ? if you see what i mean. I will tell you one thing, that silly girl lost one good friend, behaving that way, I somehow dont think she would be worrying if the situation was reversed. Do what feels right with you Missy love x wendy k x

4 years ago

LOL.....that's funny Donna....I have a bunch of friends from years gone by that I no longer hang out with because I stopped drinking.  They can't seem to find any joy in life without their crutch and I can't find any joy in trying to hold my own in a room full of drunk people 


Memories are sometimes better than real life!!  I cherish mine and try to make new ones when I can.  I think I'd just toss the box full of her stuff.

4 years ago


When I worked in a 2 o'clock bar I would get my stuff cleaned up by 2;30 and go to the 4 am bar to relax, and have a couple of drinks before going home. As soon as I sat down someone's arm is around my shoulder hanging on and pulling the back of my hair down, as, they talked to me while slobbering and spitting in my face...... Oh yeah, that was relaxing....

4 years ago

Missy I would try to locate her. She may be at a better place in her life, or not, but your concious will be clear. I would not throw it away, not personal items. Maybe tuck it away somewhere. You just never know.

4 years ago

Hi thanks for all the advice.. you all represent me in some way.. when I think of the fun we had the nice summers and trips we shared I want to see if I can find her.. but then I think of how she used to stand me up, and let her friends bully me, and how she would be a totally different person around others.. I just want to toss it away.. maby its me there something wrong with.. a few of my friends used to be totally different around me then others.. makes me wonder..

anyways have a great day everyone

4 years ago

Missy, I think I would just toss it. I had a similar circumstance and ended up throwing all the pictures and so on away a few years ago. My conscience didn't bother me at all. She knows where I have lived and that I had it boxed for her. I held it long enough for her. This may seem like I am angry about it, but I'm not. It is just why keep this stuff for some one else to get rid of if something happens to me?


4 years ago

I agree Missy, I would just throw it out. You don't need that box or what's in it to enjoy the (good) memories you have of your friendship, and keeping it might even help bad ones linger.

4 years ago

Missy,.. I haven't been around in a while, but somehow the energy of cats lovers has drawn me back to a special place of people... -

If you don't mind me contributing to your "Dilemma," .. And that is,.. if you still have the "former friends" belongings, .. you have two options:

A. Think about how YOU would feel within yourself if you were to simply send the box back to the friend with a simple note saying,.."I thought you might like these,".. Respectfully Missy.

The belongings and ALL the lingering energy within the memories are gone from your space, along with the karma. Once it's gone you can surrender whatever ownership you feel within those memories, and KNOW that you have freed yourself.

 Along with this, you will be able to know that you have been true to yourself knowing the depth of your integrity and dignity.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer says, "Always complete a disagreement or misunderstaning with Love."

Once you get that part of your life complete, the pattern ends.

Being that you have not seen this individual in a good long while, the energy of what's her's from the past, becomes hers. Depending on what space she is in emotionally, she will either toss it in a corner, and snear at it, or she can smile at it for all it brings back to HER, that will allow her some bittersweet memories to consider who she has been in her past in comparison to who she is being today, .. or she can throw it away herself and not care what so ever!


If you throw the stuff away, a part of the past will stay with you in karma and energy. A subconscious stance of anger and hurt will also stay with you and the other individual will still get to linger in her past power and karma..

I think you would be better off mailing it to her, and be at peace within yourself. You have to get Missy, that, if your conscience is asking you to seek advice, it is trying to tell you to do the right and decent thing, because you know that is WHO YOU ARE!

No matter what, You don't need to be responsible for HER STUFF!

Most of all Missy, remember,.. Cat lovers don't have a cold unloving heart.


This post was modified from its original form on 19 Aug, 21:47

This post was modified from its original form on 19 Aug, 21:48
4 years ago

Hi Missy, I can definitely see both sides but I totally agree with Jenevieve.  I would definitely  make the effort to send it to her for YOUR SAKE.  In my opinion, it's just the right thing to do.  If she then throws everything out, well, that's her choice and not really yours to make for her. 


I know I would want my things back but then again, I am very sentimental!   Those items may be important to her, you never know!  Good luck with your decision!!      

This thread is archived. To reply to it you must re-activate it.

New to Care2? Start Here.