Picture this: You plant a beautiful Plumeria in your backyard one morning (Plumeria are known for their beautiful, fragrant scent). You dig a hole for the young tree, fill it partially with water and vitamins to reduce the transplant shock, and then gently fill the hole with earth around the tree above the roots - leaving a small watering trench around the base - just like you were instructed by “Sunset Magazine.” That evening you return to the backyard to inspect your new tree. The blossoms look a little wilted and the leaves are kinda droopy. “Not a good sign” you nervously think to yourself. So you pull the plant out of the ground, spray the roots clean with fresh water, refill the hole with additional water/vitamin mix, place the plant back in the hole, tamp the ground lightly around the base and go to bed - almost too anxious to sleep - counting the hours until morning comes. The next morning - as soon as the sun has risen - you run to the backyard to discover your baby tree looking worse. You pace for a few seconds, worried sick that your new transplant is mortally sick and - yep you guessed it - you pull the tree out of the ground again, wash the roots, refill the hole, pat the earth around the base and water it some more. Evening comes and the tree looks much worse for wear now. Flowers are not only wilting but outright wrinkled - and a few petals have fallen off. Some of the leaves are curled under and you mutter to yourself, “Oh God no! It’s the kiss of death!” But have you got a clue yet? Nope. And so what do you do? You repeat the destructive process of “herbovorial introspection,” once again uprooting, washing, cleaning, replanting and worrying the poor plant to an early grave. If this was Aesop’s fables we would say, “And the moral of our story is this:” Some of us need to learn to leave ourselves alone. We need to let newly planted truths grow inside us long enough to begin to feel their power - instead of inspecting ourselves hourly to see if we’re REALLY doing better or not. There are often terribly awkward stages in our growth after we learn a new truth or after we begin to practice a new discipline. There are obvious failures and seemingly minimal successes. Someone once said “Never pray for patience, because the answer will be countless opportunities to practice it.” I totally get that. Practicing new habits, disciplines, attitudes, outlooks, ways of thinking and compassions is where the rubber meets the road as far as growth is concerned. Because putting feet on our beliefs is really all that matters in the end. Most ideals look “heavenly” when typed on paper between the covers of a hard bound book with a colorful jacket. But putting ideals into practice is the whole point of accepting them. Otherwise we’re simply well trained parrots - a species, by the way, which will never get to vote or become proactive in trying to peacefully change the world. There are these seasons I like to call “the learning to walk stages” of fleshing out our beliefs and ideals. Each new understanding of love, growth, knowledge, compassion, forgiveness, mercy, service and all the rest, have their “crawl,” “stumble,” “walk,” and “run” levels of achievement. When my daughter was learning to walk I felt it was one of the most delightfully profound things I had ever helped or watch take place. And when she stumbled badly it never entered my mind to give up on her, criticize her, trade her in for a better walking kid or anything else. On the contrary, her tiny, weak, shaky efforts endeared her to me all the more. The point is: Give yourself time to grow rather than giving yourself the third degree by interrogation and hourly introspection. Have fun as you learn to walk and expect you’ll fall in the process. Just wear something soft on your spiritual backside and avoid at all costs falling on others and injuring them. If you’re trying to grow as a human being I have tremendous respect for you. I realize that careless and thoughtless people often twist words like these and use the fact that they “still stumble” as an excuse for abusive behaviors, rotten attitudes, and hurtful actions towards others. But those same people will do that no matter what someone says. They may want to “cut down” on the number of their murders - but they don’t want to “cut them out.” I’m writing to those of you who really want to become loving human beings. If your desire is to be an instrument of love, peace, happiness, blessing and merciful assistance to the people of this world I’ll be cheering you on. If you hear other voices - criticizing your walking skills or speed - mine won’t be one of them. I spend way too much stumbling and falling in a heap myself to ever feel justified in judging other walkers and runners. Peace, love and happiness to you all. Dennis

Most of the time I feel like all I do is stumble, and unfortunately fall on others and cause harm...though it certainly is not my intention....maybe it isn't even so. But, your post was an happy encouragement. Have fun...especially if you really are trying to walk and run! And genuinely love others, etc. Thanks for the breath of fresh air! A. Taliz

I feel that there are situations and circumstances in my life preventing me to grow the way I should. I planted seeds , and everytime they start to bloom, something ruins the process. For instance I'm in the middle of a credit report dispute, because an old boyfriend added my name to his now deliquent account, and has ruined my perfect credit rating. Forgiveness is one step I've been working on, but I'm afraid the bloomes are totally wilted and fallen off. Growong is always hard me me. I feel stangant part of the time, but I't good to keep on trying to grow....

Ann,
Thanks for your kind words and transparent thoughts. I’m pretty sure most of us feel we have more than our share of “all I do is stumble days.” The fact that you care is a wonderful thing. Your post will encourage others.

Fran,
Thanks for what you wrote. I think you can find a lot of comfort in knowing that seeds planted will grow - no matter how it seems. I doubt there’s very many people (who desire to grow) who haven’t felt like you’re feeling.

The message behind the story of the planting and uprooting of the plumeria is to show how most of us feel at times. It looks like we aren’t growing when actually we are - because people who don’t care about growth never have these kinds of concerns.

Like the kid who wants his or her height to be measured against the door jam every day - our hearts long to know if we’re growing. You can know you're growing or you wouldn’t care how “tall” you are.

Keep planting your seeds. Water them by believing the truths you’ve planted. Keep the light on them. . They'll grow. Just make sure you keep them in ground!

You're nice Dennis.

Hi Fran, hang in there dear. Everything has a purpose. We take the good with  the bad and learn from it then move on. Things will improve for you. I will always be there when you need a helping hand. Your friend forever.

Hi Michael. It's good to see you in this group. Thanks for the good advice It cool to have a friend like you.

I'm with you Fran!

I really appreciate  having the support of your friendship Joanne. This group is such a good help in the "growing process"  It's so nice to have all this support.

...Now that was indeed a post I dearly 'needed'    I am at a fork in my life (well getting past it since last week...so, I am improving)

My most cherished friend is a Native American, and he has helped me 'grow' more than anyone ever has...He has taught me so very, very many valuable things; I could just write a book on how much he has been such a Blessing in my life! 

He has explained it, pretty much like Dennis has, and it is so true.

Dearest Fran:

I have read the posts you have posted throughout answering these posts, and I would just like to comment, that you have a beautiful soul.    You are extremely open, clear and concise in stating how you feel; whereas, I unfortunately talk too much...sorry!    As for the guy that messed your credit up...don't feel 'alone'; I have had much, much worse done to me, and I have somehow survived.    The best thing you can do to help yourself, is to take it as a "Lesson Learned"...(I've had many, unfortunately)    But, in my opinion...a mistake is not a mistake 'if' we learn something valuable from it, and use that lesson in a positive manner from there on, 'eh?   

We cannot change the past, but we can change our futures and how we look at it, 'eh? 

Many Blessings,

Cindy

Cindy, thanks so much for the message of encouragement and the nice things you said plus the supportive advice.

You're welcome, Fran.  I meant them.  I never say anything I do not sincerely mean. 

Anytime, you need to talk, feel free to email me at:

SloanInfinity@aol.com

~ There's not much I haven't experienced. 

Joanne,
Thanks for being so kind yourself - to me and to others 

Michael,
Thanks for the encouraging words to help another. And welcome.

Fran,
I think anyone who knows you would say you’re doing exceptionally well at being a loving human being.

Cindy,
It’s a post I need - that’s for sure! Thanks for your thoughtful words and for your kindness reaching out to others.

I agree that we all need to stop measuring ourselves against someone else's standards as a means to determine our personal growth. As we grow, we will feel it from within.

I think the best way to experience personal growth is to reach out to others. Lend a helping hand, speak encouraging words, or just be a quiet, sensitive shoulder for a friend to cry on. The more we give, the more we will receive.

I feel like I've opened a treasure chest joining this group.  It is filled with genuine, kind and loving people.  It is a joy to sign on and read these posts.  Thankyou Knight Hearted for this fable ... sometimes I feel that I've just made a mess over a mess over a mess in trying to be the best I can, so your teaching speaks loud and clear!  Sometimes life seems overwhelming as whatever choice I make seems to cause suffering to myself or others, and the latter is far worse to bear than the former.  SLowly its dawning that perhaps focusing more on being than doing will cause me to step out of this neverending cycle of trying to fix everything, from my own pain, to my families, friends and the planet.  Learning the only way I can truly love is just by accepting what is and let that unconditional space allow the other to grow in an environment supported by love - and allowing the impulse of the heart to dictate any actions, as I know the mind means well but it just seems to  make a dog's dinner!   Wishing you all a day filled with peace and the fragrance of inner growth and connectedness (thinking of that Plumeria!).  In love, Marisha.

Donna,
Thanks for your insightful post. I agree fully that growth and giving, from our heart, to others are linked together in near magical ways. We’ll never out give what we receive - if we give freely. Thank you for taking the time to write.

Marisha,
Thank you for your very kind words and thoughtful comments. The group really is like a treasure chest. The people are so kind and caring and giving and supportive. It’s humbling to be part of it. I smiled a big smile at your description of the mind overruling the heart as a “dog’s dinner” and couldn’t agree more. Thanks so much for your post.

Blessings of peace and love and happiness to each of you,
Dennis

    

I couldn't resist.  You guy's are great!

Patience with ourselves and faith in our progress can be difficult. Great words of inspiration, Knight Hearted. Thank you so much for reaching out to those here with your gentle heart. What a beautiful group!    

Joanne,
You should know. You’re definitely one of them. Thanks for the picture and words. I just don’t understand how you got a picture of me before my morning shave?

Candice,
Thank you for your thoughtful encouragement. The people here really are a wonderful bunch. Thank you for being one of them.

Well man... it's called skill.

Oh my how I love the smell of plumeria.  I used to live in Hawaii so I well remember the fragance.....truly beautiful!

Yes, I stumble, and am still stumbling, in my attempts to grow, but I suppose that is part of being human.  Sometimes I think I just need to "empty out" the garbage that I've been stuffing, for lack of a better expression, before I can move on.  But, life is a learning and growing experience.  I can only hope people are patient with me and I will try to be patient with them as they, too, grow.  This was lovely reading and a reminder I need!  I may just have to print it out.....

thanx for inviting me

we all tend to carry the garbage in our minds...never try to recycle it or throw it....we tend to churn it and bring more tensions in our lives...MOVE AHEAD should be the formula and learn from the past mistakes

Move ahead is such good advice,I know I have spent way too much time mentally chastising myself for things I can not change! I think this group is going to be a help to me.Thank you all!

What a wonderful, much needed post! Thank you! It seems I stumble through life and fall but am able to somehow get up, dust myself off and continue.  In my opinion, life is a series of lessons, when we stumble and fall, we are to learn something from the experience, then move on.  I come to look forward to the stumbles to see what lesson is next 

Love to all,

  Jules

Joanne,
Yes, I know it is - and you have plenty of it. But I still think I look better clean shaven.

Deb,
Thanks for your post and welcome to the LT&RS. I’ve heard of the fragrance of plumeria being wafted about by the winds in Hawaii. If you do print the article out will you send me a copy? I will need the reminder.

Deedee,
Thanks for your words and welcome to you too. I like the recycle or toss it metaphor. I may have to use that. At least you’ll know where it was stolen from.

TMK,
Thanks for your post. Welcome to the LT&RS. You’re in good company. We’ve all spent way too much time doing that. Moving ahead is the direction of choice for sure.

Jules,
Thank you for your post and welcome to the group. Being able to view a stumble as an opportunity to grow is a real healthy thing. It’s not always our first reaction - but it is healthy!

Thanks to each of you for your thoughtful words. Others will be helped lots by them I know.

Dennis

I love quotes and collect them when I find one I particularly like.  I find them inspiring.  While going through my collection, I found one that fits this topic to a tee:

Don't go through life, GROW through life. 
--Eric Butterworth

Dennis:  I'll be happy to send a copy when I print out.  Just let me know where to send it. 

Colleen,
That's a really good quote - and very fitting. Thanks for posting it.

Deb,
Thank you for your kind offer. That's really nice of you. Originally I was making a joke - but now that I think about it - if you have enough copies to wallpaper my office it might help me remember it after all! Thanks again.

Sally,
Thank you for your post. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had struggles to deal with lately. I’m grateful to know you felt  encouragement from what you read. That’s what it’s written for. And that’s why the group exists. We’re here for each other.

Blessings of hope, peace and healing to you my friend,
Dennis

(Bump)