I recently had some eye surgery done. So I haven't written extensively for a while. It’s nice to be at the keyboard again and doing what I love to do. (Gee - that sounded like I play the piano or something cool didn’t it?)

During these days I had lots of thoughts and ideas come to me for articles. I want to share the one I feel will be most helpful to you right now. It concerns “aberrations.”

Merriam - Webster says an aberration is something that strays from the “right or normal way.” It’s something that departs from “the usual or natural type of behavior.”

Now just to clarify - that’s Mr. Webster's definition - not mine. I’ve always chuckled when people use the word “normal” because what’s “normal” for one is often a real “aberration” for another. And when you throw the word “right” into the mix you introduce the concept of morality. Morality is always a fun topic to converse about - kinda on the same level as politics and religion for subject matter guaranteed to ruffle feathers.

But I want to mention a few thoughts on “aberrations” that I feel will help a lot.

Most of us have experienced aberrations in our behavior or thinking or in the practice of what we believe. Sometimes we don’t live like we wish we would. Sometimes we don’t think like we wish we would. Sometimes we don’t love like we wish we would. And during those moments, or on those days, when we depart from ideals and beliefs that we cherish - even slightly - we can become discouraged, feel hypocritical, and question the reality of our desire to become loving and noble human beings.

That’s when we want to remember the “cardinal rule” of accurately discerning the things we hear or see. The cardinal rule is this:

“Never judge anyone by their aberrations. Accept them on the basis or their normal or usual behavior. Evaluate things based on track records and long haul performances - not on the basis of deviations and departures.”

There you are, a person who has longed to become loving, compassionate, sympathetic and caring. Then, for whatever reason, you have one of those days where you're tempted and yield to being angry, frustrated, apathetic, and cold. Do not let that “aberration” convince you that you “clearly” never wanted to to become a noble hearted person to begin with. It’s not true. But the temptation to feel that way can be very strong after a time of “aberrant” behavior.

Maybe you promised yourself you’d never indulge in some habit again, or that you’d never engage in some activity again, or that you’d never involve yourself in a certain type of relationship again. But, in spite of your promises, you had that moment of aberration and departed from your own ideals and beliefs.

Then apply the “cardinal rule” to yourself: Never judge yourself or anyone else by their aberrations. Look deeper at your long term living - and even more importantly at your intentions.

I have problems with some traditional quotations. One of those I have problems with is: “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” I feel that’s a time honored bit of rubbish. Intentions combined with actions are what matter most in becoming the person we want to be. You can often fall short on knowing what to do - but you can live at peace with yourself knowing what your intentions are.

If your heart, if your desire, if your intentions are to become a loving, caring, compassionate human being - then do not ever allow a brief departure in thought or deed tempt you to believe that is not your goal. Knowing your intentions is what separates the Divine, and loving, understanding of you from mere human judgment and criticism.

Your beliefs are your compass. Your intentions and desires are the rudder on your ship. Your aberrations are those times when the storms blow and briefly take you off course. Your actions will always snap back to following your intentions and desires if they remain noble and true.

I want you very much to stop judging yourself in the harsh light of your aberrations. I want you instead to embrace the most noble and loving intentions (desires) possible and hold to them for the rest of your life. Your actions will be nudged and molded by true intentions and by your deeply felt desires. Just make certain that your intentions are noble and pure.

And on that note, I want to nudge us all with this bit of advice. Let’s make certain we don’t judge anyone else by their aberrations. If you know someone who consistently tries to be a loving and compassionate person - then allow them to have the same temptations and failures that you allow for yourself. Don’t judge them by their few deviations. Look deeper - with more love and understanding than that.

We live in a time when we hear loud professions of morality and religious values. It becomes easier to discern the true from the false based on long term track records. Mother Teresa may have had a bad day or two (I never heard of them if she did - smile) but the pattern of her life was governed by her intentions of love and compassion toward others.

In the same way no matter how loudly someone says they believe in God or good, if their pattern is deceit, violence, killing, and aggression - there’s a good chance their intentions are not truly governed by what they say they believe.

Thanks to each of you for putting up with my absence. I am so glad to be writing something to you, once again.

With all my love,
Dennis

Dennis, I've come to the point where I feel that I can not add to, or really comment on what you write. Aside from the fact that you are on to something even bigger.

All Blessings to you.

Thank You Dennis! I really needed to hear that at this time!

Glad to see you back too!

your words amaze me all the time Dennis, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you are healing and in no pain, hugsss

Love is patient and kind.. when we love ourself and are kind to ourself.. we can love and be kind to all.  That's acceptance of all imperfections.. as humans we all have them.  Thank you Dennis for always sharing and reminding us that love is beautiful!

Joanne, Rebecca, Debbie and Trisha,

My heartfelt thanks to each one of you for your thoughtful and kind words. I appreciate your replies very much.

Dennis

Dennis;

You're always so thought provoking, inviting deeper levels of enlightenment. I love this stuff!  I might be be off, but my feeling is that to live this, we'd  (I'd) need to be without expectations, only acceptance, wouldn't I?  (I'm not referring to someone who is clearly negative.) What I am asking is, how can I truely get thru the emotional mechanics to that point of truely living in acceptance?  If you can....I'd appreciate your opinions. Thank You!

     Love and Light, Bonnie  

Dennis, once again you are right on target. I can only echo what others here have written. You have clarified something for me and I thank you for sharing your deep thoughts and words of wisdom with us!
I hope you are healing quickly from your surgery.
Aislinn

Bonnie and Aislinn
Thank you so much for your thoughtful words, your encouragement and your wishes for healing. I am very grateful for all you wrote.

Bonnie,
A good question I’m not sure we ever will get past being tempted to have expectations. The key for me is to not be ruled by them - to never give them heed. Like the temptation to fear that shouts at us daily and in some cases is spoon fed to us - I either bend my ear to listen to it or let it be an annoying background noise like a kid mercilessly practicing a tuba next door.

I want to be ruled by own ideals. I understand that there are things that will seek to rule my heart and will - like issues or behaviors that can irritate  and frustrate. But if my heart is set on the goal of love and on demonstrating that love to everyone - I really have already won - as long as my choices yield to my intentions and not to the interruptions.

What do you intend to do?

What is your desired outcome?

My heart almost broke reading this post. i am so tired of hearing people proclaim their own goodness while at the same time they anhililate anothers character, spew hatred and anger and self righteousness. Mother Teressa indeed. What a woman. One among many...most of whom we will never even know their names. Quiet truly righteous people who just lived from their hearts... doing good, loving others, making mistakes...being human...but really making a difference that mattered to someone or many someones. How I long for my intentions to be really good ones and my actions to follow. Thanks for courageous posts. Keep writting. A. Taliz

Dennis, and "group";

Thank You so much for your insights. I love to have people around me who inspire me to dig deeper, go farther, be more. It's a process without an end, but what a great journey! I love this group!     Bonnie.

Thank you all once again for your kind, insightful, and encouraging posts on this thread. I really appreciate the heart you express.

the harshest critic is most often found in the mirror ...

the trick is to see yourself as your friends see you ...

an excellent piece, Dennis ...

well done!