I grew up with a deep fascination and respect for the heroes I read about in Fairy Tales and Mythology. They inspired me as few other things have. As I read the “fictional” stories of honor and magic I longed to become just as noble, loving, useful, and brave as the characters I had come to admire.

As I grew older I began to realize what it was that attracted to me the heroes I loved most. It was the fact that they were flawed men and women who still longed to be honorable souls on this Earth. I found this was as true for my love of the Knights of the Round Table in Camelot as it was for the more contemporary comic book heroes found on newsstands. Superman never appealed much to me because he was not human. Batman, on the other hand, fascinated me because he was not only human but flawed. Galahad possessed the purest of hearts spoken of in Camelot, but Sir Gawain, Lancelot and others were the ones who held my attention the most.

As much as White Knights in shining armor were admired among my friends - I always felt much more akin to the Dark Knights with deep flaws who nevertheless remained loyal and loving to the death for those they served.

It was their strength in weakness that impressed me. Their flaws were what made their bravery and love “attainable” to me. I know I will never be able to leap a tall building in a single bound, nor run faster than a speeding bullet. But I might be able to right wrongs, show mercy to the poor and come to the aid of the helpless like the flawed and human heroes did.

The most breathtaking aspect of the path of selfless love is the sense that it allows us to become very much like those “ancient” fictional heroes we admired so deeply. As normal everyday people we can be used to bring deliverance, hope and healing to others.

Today we call our real life, everyday, heroes: Mentors and leaders. People like Dr. King, Gandhi, and Harriet Tubman hold that special place reserved for heroes in millions of hearts - including my own. But there are countless other real life heroes known to us by various titles and names: Dads and moms, single parents struggling to raise kids, farmers seeking to feed their families and survive, a young girl answering telephones in a rape crisis counseling center - hoping to help others after having been raped herself. These and thousands of faithful, humble souls volunteering their lives around the globe to ease the suffering of humanity and other species and to be a light in this world are heroes in the truest sense of the word.

Curiously enough, it is often our flaws and struggles that allow us to help people most. The fact that we are finding strength out of our own weaknesses can become the tool that brings blessing to another.

As you look back on the most challenging seasons of your life you may not see any redeeming value to them at all. But often, the deeper the personal anguish we feel, the more powerful the help becomes that we have to offer others.

When my first child passed away, for many long months I found myself unable to look upon that terrible event with anything but heartache, grief and a questioning heart. I had many temptations to anger due to the circumstances surrounding her death - but in time found, once again, that the best memorial to her was to forgive and become a man of peace.

Before a year had passed I began to see that her short life and death - and the effect it had upon me - became an open door for helping others who were deeply grieving losses of their own. That terrible event became “the” way to reach them and offer them hope in their own times of despair.

I know all of you have experienced terrible heartaches and griefs. Many of you have gone through, or are going through, deep waters that feel as if they will drown you under their swell. From one soul who has floundered to another - let me assure you the waves will not swallow you. Only trust in the greater purpose for you being on this Earth.

It’s a wonderful thing to want to become a useful soul. It’s a virtue to yearn to be used in the rescue and healing of others. God knows we need heroes. But by “hero” I do not mean a person infected with self-righteousness or pride. Nor do I mean someone whose manner of life and purity is so unattainable that it discourages others rather than giving them a hope well within their reach. The best heroes are fully human and just as conflicted as you or I.

One of my “mentors” once wrote,

“The toad beneath the pitchfork knows,
Where each point of the pitchfork goes.
The butterfly upon the road,
Preaches contentment to that toad.”

Better a fellow “toad” with empathy than a empty headed butterfly with frivolous chatter. Better yet a noble soul capable of rescuing toads, butterflies, and all living things.

What we desperately need to understand is this: Many heart wrenching events have no immediate answer. But if you will trust them to heart and hands of Infinite Wisdom and go on with your living as you patiently wait - the answer will come in time.

Until that time comes the darkest seasons of your life can become paths of growth and inroads to the heroic rescue of others if the fundamental ideals of Love are practiced with Divine help.

Forgiveness, mercy, compassion, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness, goodness, brotherly and sisterly love - these things will open doors for usefulness when embraced as the way to respond to all of life’s challenges that face us.

Yes, it’s easier to hold resentment - but it’s not brave. It’s tempting to become bitter - but it’s not noble. It’s natural to feel hate - but it’s not heroic. We have lived all our lives hoping to see a real hero. My message to each of us is to become one.

The best heroes, the most noble, the most admired and loved are those who came through the fire lovelier and purer than when they went in. We’re all going to go through “fires.” There’s just no way around that. But to trust and know and yield to the truth that Love will redeem our time in the flames with meaning and beauty and usefulness to others is a solace unlike any found on this Earth.

It’s very hard at times to express how deep a love I feel for each of you who read these articles and who are members of this group. I write hoping and praying with all my heart that you will find help, and hope, and healing and keys to unlock doors as you think about the things you are nudged toward here. I want so much for you to be able to redeem the worst you have faced and allow it to be used as a way to heal others. I want so much for each of you to be released from the burdens and heartaches you carry yourselves.

The heroes we loved most have inspired our hearts. It’s only a short step from our admiration of them to us being used to inspire others in the same way.

Please don’t fear wanting to become a hero to your children, your family, your friends, your loved ones and all living species upon this Earth. Just never think of heroes as being anything other than deeply flawed and you’ll do just fine. And from one “deeply flawed” human being to another, remember this: No one is always “the” hero. More often than not it may seem that we are the ones heroes must come to save.

My love to each of you,
Dennis

Daddy ,
 It seems like you always know what to say to me and  I am proud to have you as my dad and I just wanted to say that You are my hero even though people are not perfect they still need someone to look up to and even though many so called heroes are not a Martin Luther King Jr. or a Gandhi they still can mean just as much. They might not affect the whole world but even if they change just one person it can make them feel so much better and feel like they have their own hero and anyway thank you for always being my hero and helping me conquer the world in my own way the article was great.

Lve Knightingale
 

Dude, What more could you ask for?

Wow Dennis thank you for such inspiring words and thoughts! I think you exactely said it right at what a real hero is and I couldn't have defined it better!

We all go through those tough spots but it is how we pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and go on with our lives which matter the most! What we learn from each experience. And I say it look like you have done a splendid job with your lovely child!

    I was blessed with parents who were my heros. A brother, and husband. Always there. Always ready to rescue me and love me and give their lives for me if need be. And there were so many others that I heard about. Rosa Parks, Corrie and Betsy Ten Boom and their family, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., my little 8 year old friend Brian with the brain tumor. And so many more that bring tears to my eyes at the thought of their beauty. I am so grateful for this writing. It gives me hope for myself. Because I never felt I could ever be like the heros I admired. And maybe I never can. But thanks for letting me know I can be heroic. For giving me a better picture of heroism...and the possibilty of attaining some measure of it. See...I'm the one that heros always seem to be needing to rescue! Love you all so much. Thank you Dennis as always forever. A. Taliz

This is really beautiful Dennis and reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Mariah Carey. I'm also blessed with heroes saving me... more so now than ever...heroes here on earth and above   This really touched my heart today and was something I really needed!

What a beautiful article Dennis. Noble , humble, well loved and admired heroes, must go through alot to become heroes. I am speeceless about what to say, but I really admire everything you wrote.

so many deep truths in this…as we can learn only from the crucible of suffering

One focus in my work is on “adversarial,” or post-traumatic growth— i.e., the good we can gain from the bad things in our lives. I often ask myself how we can best support each other in the human family to experience this kind of growth after grave adversity.

Your post is a tremendous example of providing exactly what we need: support and encouragement (from someone who knows) and a way to frame the adversity and failures we encounter in a positive way.

So, thank you for modeling the truth that even the ugliest and most painful things in our lives can be redeemed for good. Thank you for yielding your brokenness for the purpose of spurring life in others.

You are showing the wonder and beauty of Grace--a precious gift to give, indeed.

My heartfelt thanks to each of you for your encouragement and your comments. It’s hard to find the right words to express how thankful I am for the posts you make. You put your soul into your words and everyone here can feel it. I am extremely grateful.

Blessings to you all, to all the members of this group, and to all those who have joined Care2 wanting to make this world a better place.

My love to each of you - always.
Dennis

p.s. Knightingale, sweetheart, no dad on Earth could be prouder of his kid than I am of you. Check your mail (smile).

(Bump)