My mother was a nervous and conflicted person. she was excruciatingly sensitive. I always got the feeling that the world desperately disappointed her.
I learned much from her...
Happiness is not found in things, or from other people, the world is not there to 'make' you happy.
no matter how much you love someone or something - it will act according to it's own nature. you should never expect love or concern from others.
vesting in expectations is pointless. The world will find a way to be as it should, usually at your inconvenience or dispair.
expecting others to be there for you is a selfish mindgame, take care of your own concerns so they don't become someone elses.
you will be happier if you act rather than react.
and above all, I learned that guilt is toxic... She believed that people that were happy, were so at someone elses expense.
I always wanted to wish her a genuine 'Happy Mother's Day' , but she never took anything I said as having genuine intent.
I now light a candle near her picture, and wish her love and peace, on her birthday, and on Mother's Day - And picture her smiling and receiving my love in kind - since it didn't happen when she was alive.
To me, 'Mother's Day' is a real opportunity to hold a particular day sacrosanct in memory of the extrordinary power of motherhood in this world - and beyond.
My mother taught me the strength of unconditional love. If I misbehaved, she always said, I still love you, I just don't like what you did. She taught me true love is permanent, and independant of actions. True love just is and always will be.
And she taught me how to march to the beat of my own drummer, even if no one else is marching with me.
This post was modified from its original form on 13 May, 11:44
Subhadras's words that the mother "taught me how to march to the beat of my own drummer, even if no one else is marching with me" bring to my mind the following beautiful words of Poet Rabindranath Tagore, which I love to share with the group members:
Walk alone,
If they answer not to thy call, walk alone,
If they are afraid and cower mutely facing the wall,
O thou of evil luck,
Open thy mind and speak out alone,
If they turn away and desert you when crossing the wilderness,
O thou of evil luck, trample the thorne under thy thread, and along the blood-lined track travel alone.
If they do not hold up the light when the night is troubled with storm,
O thou of evil luck,
With the thunder-flame of pain ignite thine own heart and let it burn alone.
Can anyone repay to one's mother who gave birth whether one has seen her or not? Never. Even if she treated one badly after birth or left the new born on the street, the mother who gave birth is mother and what she has done for one until birth cannot be repaid. Mother who gave birth is one's first Guru and all others including the one who breast fed the child after birth are next to her.
We can learn a lot from Lord Krishna and his approach towards both the mothers - Devaki and Yasodha.
There are much learned members in this group to enlighten the group members about it.
- The Hand That Rocks The Cradle
Is The Hand That Rules The World
Blessings on the hand of women! Angels guard its strength and grace, In the palace, cottage, hovel, Oh, no matter where the place; Would that never storms assailed it, Rainbows ever gently curled; For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world.
Infancy's the tender fountain, Power may with beauty flow, Mother's first to guide the streamlets, From them souls unresting grow-- Grow on for the good or evil, Sunshine streamed or evil hurled; For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world.
Woman, how divine your mission Here upon our natal sod! Keep, oh, keep the young heart open Always to the breath of God! All true trophies of the ages Are from mother-love impearled; For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world.
Blessings on the hand of women! Fathers, sons, and daughters cry, And the sacred song is mingled With the worship in the sky-- Mingles where no tempest darkens, Rainbows evermore are hurled; For the hand that rocks the cradle Is the hand that rules the world.
William Ross Wallace
my brother passed away exactly 1 week later.
They will both remain the best teachers I ever had.
I miss their smiles.
This post was modified from its original form on 08 Jun, 22:18
I don't know if anyone put this, as I did not read all of the threads, but I wanted to say something about the "Hallmark Holiday" idea. I always used to think the same thing (that it was just a money making scam type holiday). But over the past Mother's Day I actually learned the origin(s).
There was of course the Greek goddess version, then there was the British/Irish version that happened during Lent and was a day when people would visit their "Mother Church" (the church they went to growing up) thus also being reunited with their own mother's that still attended there. Neither of these really have to do with the United States version (though some still kept with the British tradition).
The original United States version was actually started by a Woman that formed a "Mother's Work Day" to give awareness to "sanitation" and better living on both sides of the Civil War.
Later, another Mother and social activist reinvented it as a protest against war. She even wrote a famous call to peace and disarmament called the "Mother's Day Proclamation."
Finally, the daughter of the original woman, who started the US version of the holiday, reinvented it yet again! After her Mother's death, she turned it into a memorial day for mother's and other women lost.
Today, most don't even think of the origins (any of them) and they treat it like a "Hallmark Holiday." I still think that it's nice to honor your mother, and I don't think you necessarily need a special day or a lot of money to do so. But after learning the history behind it, I appreciate it a little more 
It is sad, though, when they are no longer here to remember and give a small plant to brighten their day.
God bless, J
from my mother, who died when I was quite young, I learned about unconditional support. I was a wild, creative, ferocious child and she totally encouraged me to do whatever I wanted in the realms of my imagination, to create watercolor paintings on our giant picture windows if I wanted to, to dress up in any costume and pretend to be fairy-tale heroines or famous historical figures -- wherever my vivid creative ability took me, she was right there at my back, appreciating and supporting my every move.
looking back, I realize what a phenomenal gift she gave me. it would have been easy to have treated me with rolled eyes, or impatience, or fear that other kids/parents would think I was a freak -- but I never once got the impression from her that I was anything other than a cool little kid with a flair for flamboyant costuming and imaginary creations around every corner.
Alx
What a lively discussion about Mother! We have to be like Krishna towards his Mothers - both the Mother who gave birth and the Mother who breast fed and brought up the child.
This is an occasion to share with Care2Guru group members something I wrote a few years back on the 50th birthday of Mata Amritanandamayi.
Mother she is to all,
As she is a mother to me,
Treating all as her children,
As God is one for everyone.
Asked for mother’s love,
Mother gave it to me in full;
Rare one gets love these days,
In a world ruled by devils;
Taking rest on mother’s lap,
As I enjoy peace and love,
Never getting starved of same;
As mother provides me the life,
Naturally I long for and is my birth right;
Dreadful are all gone and world is made dear,
As I rise up to celebrate with joy,
My mother’s 50th birth anniversary,
At a time celebrations are getting less;
You and I are blessed to have the bliss of mother,
In a world majority missing the bliss and mother’s love.
A mother's eye is always wide open like that of a Fish. It is called "Meen" in some of the Indian languages like Malaylam and Tamil. Those who have visited the Temple Town Madurai in the southern Indian state of Tamlnadu must have noticed the taller Madurai Meenakshi Temple. Goddess here is called Meenakshi as Her eyes are wide open like that of a Fish i.e. Meen. Those watch fish groups, must have observed that in this specis the youngest on will be at front followed by others in the order of age with the Mother behind everyone. Her eyes are so wide she is able to watch all her children moving in front. She is so watchful and caring to the children.
Lord is Meenakshi taking care of all living beings, both from inside and outside.
I spent many years without my mother,she left us when I was 6,of 4 children I am the only one she has a relationship with.
My mother is now my best friend and supportive of all I do,I accept her and love her unconditionaly as she does me.
I would say I have learned from my mother that no one is perfect and some decisions as hurtfull as they seem to others may be made in the best interest of others,I have learned that forgiveness & understanding feels a whole lot better than resentment or anger.
My mother was extremely insecure, controlling and self-centered. I grew up feeling broken and that love was hopeless. Yet, as an adult, I see her as a human being instead of an unloving parent -- and -- her love for me, is still the love only a mother has for her child. All the walking wounded need love and forgiveness, including mothers who could not nurture and love their children as they would have liked. In the present there is always the opportunity for loving connection.
I've always been able to confide in my mother. She is my best Friend. Once her worried daughter asked: "Mummy, do you think I'm strange?" and she replied: "You're not strange. You're unique. Every person is unique
Hello! I am Dori,
I wanted to just stop in and let you know that this is a great discussion,it's something that would be great to talk about.
I wish I had the love of a mother, but I grew up in a home where I didn't have the love of a mother.
I was not in a foster home or an adopted home, I was with my real family but I was an unwanted children by my "mother".
The only one that gave me love was my grandpa,(my dads father)he told me to treat others the way that I would want them to treat me, I tried very hard to do so.
I have learned through the years that he was right.
Dori
Love, Hope, Peace, & Christ Be With You,
Cal-el
why? we have mother goddess celebrations in india ll the time? so this is a feeble western attempt at recognizing female energy that should be the institution of all of humanity
there should be a world mothers day.every country on the same day to recognize mothers/ goddess /female energy that supports the human race as no other
now as for my mother in this particular incarnation
a very very tough double scorpio x model sophia loren dead ringer that threw me ont ot he thstreets as a teenager
now she is quite ill and i am her support as my brother refuses to help at all. a most heartbreaking and difficult situation. What did my mother teach me?
strength, some barriers, defenses to the worlds energy,discrimination in friends
an interesting thing to think about
I love my mother more than I can say. Yes, mom taught me unconditional love. I know what true love is because of her. The love my parents shared was glorious. when my parents were in their 60's (Dad had been ill for years and mom had gone out to work after the age of 50 for the first time) My dad would look at mom and say "You look a lot like your mother. She must have been a beautiful woman when she was Young. (My mother's momma passed away at age 50.) Dad was implying that mom was younger and that mom was beautiful. I don't think that either one of my parents ever aged a day in the eyes of the other.
Mom got Alzheimers as she aged. I took care of her till she was 91. By then she had forgotten most things. She only remembered her own childhood. But we looked at old photo albums and she enjoyed that. She would go thru the button box and match up buttons. She helped me fold laundry. She could no longer read or hardly enjoy me reading to her unless it was a very short book, poetry, or something like that. I did read her inspirational stories at lunch. Short ones. Then we could discuss things that may have occurred in her life that were similiar. As she grew worse, I lost my childhood, because she was the only one who remembered. But instead, she became my child. I took care of her made sure she ate well. and laughed and enjoyed things. When she was 91, my brother decided he was her guardian and would take over. Within 3 months she had a disabling stroke and was put in a nursing home. With my attorney's help, I was able to visit her twice in April, the month before she died. She was so very tiny. She had lost so much weight. I think she was being starved to death. I know it was hard to get her to eat. But I could have fed her back up. Institution food is hardly edible for well people, and people who are ill and disabled need to look forward to their meals and snacks and have them special and intrigueing. She had her dentures removed and of course could not chew. She needed scrambled eggs with melted cheese, lemon and banana custards , veggies flavored enticingly, smooth meat sauces over brown rice or mashed potatoes. But she passed away exactly 2 years after I had to leave her, at age 93. She was also alone except for one nursing home staff person. She will always be in my heart.
I have so many wonderful memories of mom and her love of learning was passed on to me.
With Love, Genelda
What I learned from my mother is the strength to carry on and to shine. My mother passed away when I was 18, at the crossroads of my life, no longer a child but not yet an adult. However, I have taken the essence of my mum and brought that through to my daughter who is 10. I have been given the skills and intelligence to lead a creative, healthy life and I give full credit to my mum.
Narelle
love - honor - respect - honesty - compassion - morales - understanding - strength - family - and love and more love and more love.
how i miss her. she was the one who gave me my strengths and convictions today. she made me the woman that i am today, and for that i am forever grateful. for me, there is no special day called "mother's day". EVERYDAY is mothers day, now AND when she was still here with me.
i love your mommy. always.
namaste,
sandy
"Believe nothing because a wise person said it. Believe nothing because a belief is generally held. Believe nothing because it is said in ancient books. Believe nothing because it is said to be of divine origin. Believe nothing because someone else believes it. Believe only what you yourself test and judge to be true. "
- Buddha
Blissings, Ani 
Chant and be happy!
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare
Chant these names and your life will be sublime.
To be happy. Take a possitive appoarch to things when they go wrong.
Susan
Sanskrit is the mother of all European languages. The Sanskrit language has helped shape many European languages including French, German, Russian, and English. It shows many ancient forms of words such as father, through, shampoo, trigonometry, and mouse, while guru, pundit, dharma, bandh, and yoga are among hundreds of Sanskrit words that can now be found in the Oxford dictionary.
That is very interesting, Sarvo...I always thought that English was mainly from Latin and teutonic language. I am fascinated by languages, do you have any further information about how Sanskrit came to Europe?
My Mother taught me the love of 'going places', and the love of
nature. How to wish on a new moon and the first star. Every sunset was beautiful, the beach in the rain and fog was a miracle of mist. She taught me to grow gardens, and the Latin names of common flowers and plants.
Without knowing it she taught me deep love.
The perfect form of the Vedic Sanskrit language had already existed thousands of years earlier even before the infancy of the earliest prime languages of the world like Greek, Hebrew and Latin etc.
http://www.thevedicfoundation.org/valuable_resources/Sanskrit-The_Mother_of_All_Languages_partI.htm
Thanks for posting that Sarvo! A bit eye opening.
"WHAT IS TRUE LOVE "HE WHO SERVE THEIR PARENTS , NO NEED TO SERVE TO GOD, THIS IS WHAT I LEARN FROM MY MOTHER.
I'm not sure if this makes sense...but...the more I think about it, the more I have to say that just about everything I think/feel/do...how I react, how I think...how I see outcomes shaped ahead of choosing an action...up until very recently I took a lot of time blaming her for how messed up I saw my life as having been, and how messed up I often feel myself to be. Recently I am finding that for better, or worse the origins of me...I am glad to be finding the me that I am becoming, and I know that it wouldn't be possible, good, or bad, without her...maybe that means, that ultimately, I've learned everything, and nothing from her. But it's okay, and that feels more wonderful than I can say. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare HAre. Peace everyone. Good weekend, in case I'm not on again for a bit. <3
Before Sarvo says it....yes I am having a sentimental moment!!!
When it was time to sleep, my mother helped me sleep. When it was time to wake up, she woke me up. Now that I am awake, my mother and my father are my guides and my fear of them my signposts.
You cannot currently send a star to George because you have done so within the last week.
George....you are a constant source of amazement.
My mother and father have both passed on. Now I fear for them.
Why do you fear for them Sarvo? You being a devotee will help them immensely.
Sarvo...you told me that chanting could affect 14 generations past and future....I was hopeing that was true.
I hope to some day actually be a devotee. Then my parents won't have to worry any more.
My mother had to die to become my guide. The minute she did, I stopped worrying, for how can you have worry when you know that all is as it should be? How can you worry when there is no future? Is not worrying the cause of so much sin? Is worrying not a sin?
Sorry for sounding pompous, I guess the group name has gone to my head.
You don't sound pompous George. Depends what you think happened to your mother after she died I suppose................
Without her death, she could not have been reborn in my head - In life I held her on her pedestal, only after her death was I able to think of her differently, to understand her, rather than blame her.
I'm not saying our mothers need to die in order for us to love them, but it can be a trigger. Perhaps it is the death of my ego perception of mother that allows a different reality to be understood.
I do get that, George....I certainly have a different view of my mother...a far more appreciative one....since she died.
I have found that my path to god is inextricably linked to my understandng of my parents and hence self.
We all repeat the energy trauma of our parents, we hold our parents in fear while avoiding addressing our trauma, we run away from the fear and externalise our trauma on others.
My path to wholeness, is my path towards my love of my parents. Love is blocked by the ego (which may claim to love nonetheless) and is unblocked by understanding.
This is what pagans call honouring the anscestors I think. It recognises that each family carries with it a schism brought about by the parents and the generations before them. Each of us rejects our parents, believing that they have rejected us, in the rejection, we block our path to self and our brainwashing causes us to deny this and to form attachments of false hope.
Those that are brave enough to see beyond the fear, will find that their parents were merely repeating behaviour that was done to them by their parents, thus blame is replaced by understanding and through that a genuine love of the parent and the self can be achieved.
When we stop repeating the sins of the past, be begin to live in the now, we begin to change our legacy, we change all.
Many spiritual people still run away from loving their parents, then ask why religion becomes their attachment.
My spiritual father, my guru, helped me understand something about the family myth and in that way I managed to rediscover my love for my father. It took about two years of serving him and now that love is one of my greatest sources of happiness and strength.
I know exactly what you mean Sarvo, still working on my dad issues, but I'm getting there.
Hallmark Day.......sad connotation indeed......Subhadra are you a Mom ?
Though Mothers Day came and went I always hear from and or spend time with my kids and grandchildren.......I am never forgotten......I dont need fancy cards, present or ordeals, just love........and neither do I expect fancy stuff from my kids but it is nice to be remembered..........indeed they are not my kids but merely passed through me.
I dont have a Mom or Grandparents who were my parents in essence in bringing me up but our traditions and roots carry on and pass through the generations.....this is the essence of Mothers Day what we can do....not what we can get..........but I have roots and cherished memories, also some not so cherished, it is how we become who we are.
My eldest Granddaughter continues to compile a legend of stories and traditions which she asked me to help her start...I thought that was pretty cool.........there are stories, jokes poems, pics, memories, events....beliefs all sorts.......hugs to my kids and mothers all over....Jenna xxxxxxxx
Yes, Jenna, I am a mother, I have two sons ages 19 and 21. I think you missed my meaning when I said Hallmark Holiday. These are holidays promoted by corporate america to ensure that we will feel appropriately guilty and buy stuff. The way I read it, if you can't expres your love the other 364 days of the year, why should a designated day mean any more? Case in point: When my youngest son got his first paycheck from his first paying job, he headed off the the mall with his friends. He came back with a glass heart for me to wear on a chain. It was purple (my favorite color) and he just bought it because he saw it and knew I would like it. But he was wrong, I love it. These kind of things mean so much more than getting up one designated sunday and getting a card that someone felt obligated to buy. My sons and I expressed our love on a continual basis, no need for a holiday. Looks like you and your family do the same. You are very blessed.
Oh I do make exception for birthdays, because that is your one unique day a year that is yours. Birthdays are special.
I know what you mean, Subhadra...every day is a day for love. However, when I was young (seems like centuries ago!!!!) in the UK we had Mothering Sunday (pre- Hallmark!!!) and it was lovely. In the village church there was a service that EVERYONE went to...Christian or not..and all the children (me included) picked wild flowers and made poseys for our mothers. They were usually violets or primroses.
Today is Father's Day in the UK and USA...not here in Portugal. Another Hallmark invention!!! However...it is good to reflect on our fathers and what they did (or didn't) do for us. The person I call my father (Dad) isn't actually my biological father. He married my mother when I was 9 years old. He is wonderfuland has been probably more than a "natural" father ever would have been. As I am sure you are all sick of hearing, I am going to live with him in 27 days and I can't wait! He has been ahuge influence on my life. How do you see the role of fathers? How did your father influence you?
i am teaching my parents, my friends, and all those who cross my path, i don't believe in mother's day, father's day, etc etc etc.
everyday is a good day to show my love to my mother, my father, my sisters, my friends, the stranger ect etc etc ....
why choosing one day in a year to do taht? to me that pattern has turned into a profit day. also a hipocrite day.
maybe today i am depressed and feel like hiding away. if i don't call my father it means i love him less? no, it doesn't. that's why everytime i feel i love my father i call him and tell him. and then i remind him, that to me everyday is a good day to say "i love u", not only the second sunday of june.
who was my father and who is my father now?
a dichotomy.
my father was a monster,
today my father is a little boy.
who was my mother and who is my mother now?
a dichotomy.
my mother was a monster hiding behind a queen mask,
today my mother is a human being still hiding behind her mask.
who are my parents now?
my friends. we respect each other and share the good and the not so good.
most importantly, we share LOVE.
Well....seems as though I have been incredibly priveleged to have parents who were (are) good at being parents...or just good at being human beings. Actually....I don't think that is necessarily the case. When I was younger I thought they were monsters that I blamed all my failings on. I am a parent now and grandparent too and I don't suppose I am very good at being either. What I REALLY think is that too many people too readily blame their parents for their own hang ups and short comings because it is an easy cop out. We should all grow up. Sorry to be harsh...no, I'm not!
Leo.........by the way, I really like your new picture!
my mother taught me " never hate to woman , woman are best sourse of love that god have gifted to mankind, always respect woman.
Bharat
I didn't have the desire to celebrate any 'holidays' for the longest time in my early adulthood. (yes that included Mother's Day - much my later regret) Then I began creating my own. I guess I can ignore so much of the social-conciousness of my own culture, 'cause I never felt quite a part of it.
It wasn't until I began to understand the value of what my ancestors celebrated, did I become more tolerant of socially-observed holidays.
Sure holidays are commercialized, but I don't recognise that that has any real value, and I'd bet I am not the only one. As long as my heart and soul can participate in a celebration - well, I'm there! There is plenty of aspects to holidays, that have nothing to do with what is bought and sold... I just don't react to that aspect anymore - I'm too busy celebrating what I love and recognise as life-affirming, to be bothered with the negativity associated with judging those that are mindless about it.
Hare Krishna!
OM Shanti
Parvati
