Why are people Insecure ? September 14, 2006 12:06 PM
Insecure people may have:
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Been raised in a chaotic, unpredictable, or volatile environment in which they were kept off balance, on guard, or on edge.
Experienced a major tragedy or loss in their lives and are having a difficult time in accepting this loss and adjusting to the ``change.''
Experienced a major ``failure'' in life (e.g., divorce, losing a job, bankruptcy, failure in school, losing a friend, lack of acceptance into social or civic groups, etc.) that led them to question their personal competency.
A poorly developed self-concept with low self-esteem, lacking belief in their personal goodness, skills, or abilities.
Never felt accepted by the ``others'' in their life, so much so that they became chronically shy, retiring, and withdrawn in their interactions.
Had an unrealistic list of rules and expectations prescribed by significant others in their life, rules they are striving to meet even in their current life.
A poor body image, making them believe that others see them in a negative light. This makes them self-conscious, tense, and anxious in dealing with others.
Never received enough positive reinforcement or feedback from others about their talents and abilities, leaving them unclear as to their skills.
Been given very little direction, guidance, or discipline in their earlier lives leaving them unable to cope with the current pressures of life.
Always felt overshadowed or overlooked due to the people in their lives who seemed to be more successful, smarter, prettier, more handsome, more athletic, higher achievers, getting much attention. This can foster doubt in an insecure person's ability to gain recognition for their successes, and can make them doubt their ability to achieve success.