Instead of Spanking: Try this July 30, 2008 7:46 PM
what many parents instinctively feel when they dont like to spank their
child, but they dont know what else to do. The latest research from Dr.
Murray Strauss at the Family Research Laboratory affirms that spanking
teaches children to use acts of aggression and violence to solve their
problems. It only teaches and perpetuates more violence, the very thing
our society is so concerned about. This research further shows that
children who have been spanked are more prone to low self-esteem, depression
and accept lower paying jobs as adults. So, what do you do instead?
1 - Get Calm
First, if you feel
angry and out of control and you want to spank or slap your child, leave
the situation if you can. Calm down and get quiet. In that quiet time you
will often find an alternative or solution to the problem. Sometimes
parents lose it because they are under a lot of stress. Dinner is boiling
over, the kids are fighting, the phone is ringing and your child drops
the can of peas and you lose it. If you cant leave the situation, then
mentally step back and count to ten.
2 - Take Time for
Parents are more
prone to use spanking when they havent had any time to themselves and
they feel depleted and hurried. So, it is important for parents to take some
time for themselves to exercise, read, take a
walk or pray.
3 - Be Kind but
situation where parents tend to spank is when your child hasnt listened
to your repeated requests to behave. Finally, you spank to get your child
to act appropriately. Another solution in these situations is to get down
on your childs level, make eye contact, touch him gently and tell him,
in a short, kind but firm phrase, what it is you want him to do. For
example, I want you to play quietly.
4 - Give Choices
Giving your child a
choice is an effective alternative to spanking. If she is playing with
her food at the table ask, Would you like to stop playing with your food
or would you like to leave the table? If the child continues to play
with her food, you use kind but firm action by helping her down from the
table. Then tell her that she can return to the table when she is ready
to eat her food without playing in it.