Give us a chuckle and post all your funny stuff here.
Little Red Riding Hood Meets a Dog
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees the big bad dog crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Pooch."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the big dog again and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Pooch."
Again the dog jumps up and runs away.
About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the dog again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Pooch."
With that the dog jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off,
I'm trying to poop!"
This post was modified from its original form on 21 Oct, 19:25
Hahahahaha! That's funny, Lily
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me,
Grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... And then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
"But, Hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! That one cracked me up...I'll think I'll post on Facebook and give everyone a good laugh.
I wish to apply for an operation to make me sterile,my reasons are numerous,and having been married for 7 years
and having 7 children I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are totally useless.
After getting married I was advised to use the rhythm method,despite trying the Tango and Samba ,my wife fell pregnant
and I ruptured myself doing the cha cha.
when the house was empty,needless to say this didn't work.
A lady of several years experience informed us that if we made love whilst breast feeding we would be alright.
it was hardly Newcastle brown ale but I did finish up with a clear skin,silky hair and felt very healthy,but my wife was pregnant!
After constant breast feeding (including) my earlier attempt my wife jumped up and down but finished up with 2 black eyes
and knocked herself unconcious.
I asked the chemist about the sheath ,the chemist demonstrated how easy it was to use so I bought a packet.
My wife fell pregnant again which didn't really surprise me as I fail to see how the Durex stretched over the thumb as the chemist
showed can prevent babies.
and my wife was definately a right hand screw.
The dutch cap came next we were very happy about this as it did not interfere with our sex life at all, but it did give my wife
We were given the largest size available but it was still tight across her forehead.
My wife then started putting it between her knees,this prevented me getting anywhere near her.
This did work for a while until the night she dropped the pill.
You must appreciate my problem, if this application is unsuccessful I will have to resort to oral sex-- but then just talking about it
can never substitute for the real thing.
Oh my gosh, Lily! That poor chap was clueless, wasn't he? His wife too.
Noticing this, a cop stopped her, and said, “Ma’am, there are $50 bills falling Out of that bag.”
“Oh, rats! Darn it!” said the little old lady. “I’d better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer..”
“Well, now, not so fast,” said the cop. “Where did you get all that money? You didn’t steal it, did you?”
A“Well, you know”, said the little old lady, “not everybody pays
Dont know what happened up there!!!
We went to breakfast at a restaurant
where the 'Seniors Special' was
two eggs, bacon, hash browns
and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said,
'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49
because you're ordering a la carte,'
the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for
not taking the eggs?'
my wife asked incredulously.
'Yes!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?'
the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home
and baked a cake.
DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
We’ve been around
the block more than once!
Send this to the Seniors in your life.
I'm sure they'll appreciate it!
Even Non-Seniors will appreciate it!
it's cheaper than medicine !!!
hahaha! those are cute, Lily...especially the kangeroo. teehee!
hahahahaha! Lily...that's a good one. I wish animals COULD do this.
This post was modified from its original form on 04 Jan, 17:50