A Gruesome Guts Tour
Here’s a gruesomely thrilling alternative to the usual boring tourist trip. Just imagine being shrunk down to the size of a pinhead and boarding a coach the size of a pea. Then imagine going on a guide tour of someone else’s guts! And guess what? Your dinner’s thrown in! That’s if you feel like eating any….
The horrible holiday company proudly present….
The Gruesome Guts Getaway!
Embark on the Trip of A Lunchtime.
The small print
1, If you get digested and turned into a chemical soup it is not our fault! – Ok
2, There will be no toilet stops until the end of the tour.
1,00 pm Enter the mouth. Fasten your seat belts and close the windows securely. It’s wet outside and we’re about to dive down the gullet waterfall splosh!
1.01 pm. Amazing 9 to 13 second free-fall as we’re squeezed 25 cm down the gullet/Esophagus.
1.02 – 6 pm Five hour stopover in the stomach. Plenty of time to admire the slimy stomach walls with their 35 million digestive juice-producing pits.
Enjoy the beautiful sunset effect as a red hot pepper makes the stomach glow.
Listen to the mighty roar of the rumbling stomach as trapped gasses squelch around amongst the food.
Experience the gut-churning thrill of the stomach big dipper as it churns and churns again every 20 seconds. (if you feel a bit queasy, sick-bags are provided.)
6.00 pm A sudden lurch takes us from the stomach into the intestine. Then what better than a relaxing 6m cruise down the scenic small intestine?
Feel the lovely smooth gliding motion as we’re squeezed along. The slimy gut walls help to stop the guts from digesting themselves.
Marvel at the velvety insides of the intestines made up of five million tiny projections called villi.
Gasp as we are covered in enzymes rich digestive juices squirling down from the pancreas and liver.
Wonder as the food chemicals are sucked into the villi.
Puzzle over the mystery of the appendix. Everyone’s got one of these finger-like things sticking out of their intestines. But no-one knows what it’s for!
10.00 pm Spend the night in the comfortable and spacious large intestines. Here the surroundings are peaceful, lie back and listen for the relaxing gurgling of the water as it’s taken out of the food and back into the body.
7.30 am (Give or take a few hours). Put on your life jacket and parachute. It’s time for splash down in the toilet!
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