Why do we do the things we do?

What makes us tick?

How do we make spur of the moment decisions as well as the important decisions in our lives?

What do you consider when you make a decision?

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We like to think that our decisions - especially the important ones, are based only on facts. However, most of the time, our feelings are the key to the decisions we make in everything from our choice of friends to where we live, our jobs and the cars we drive.

We may back up these "gut" decisions by comparison or investigation; but in the end, we all put a great deal of emphasis on our feelings (emotions and instincts).

The impact of our feelings isn't limited to big decisions. Feelings also influence where we shop, the restaurants we eat in, products we buy and our attitude toward other people.

Because feelings are so important to what we do, we need to spend time learning to understand our feelings. At the same time, we will begin to understand how and why the feelings of other people need to be considered every time we communicate with them.

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Regardless of the job we preform, we need to strive to provide quality customer service. Remember we are all customers numerous times each day. When we go to the doctor, gas station, or dry cleaners, we expect courtesy, consideration, help, respect and support. We expect to be treated as a valued customer.

This is true in our personal lives too. Subconsciously, we select friends who treat is as valued customers. We want our families and loved ones to be courteous, helpful, considerate, respectful and supporting. We are "customers" for those feelings.

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Every day we require the help and support of other people. Every contact we make with another person has the same element of give and take that we experience when we go into a store.

When we get the response we want, we feel good about the encounter. Our need for positive interaction with other people is satisfied. We feel good about the experience and repeat it.

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What if you get negative reactions from people? I try to be nice and not offend, but I always seem to wind up saying or doing the wrong thing and then people complain about me or are offended. I get positive support so rarely. Nearly all my life I have been unhappy.

Basically, you have answered your own question. "Nearly all my life I have been unhappy." The unhappiness is winning at these times in your life. It is very easy for people to say "Just be happy", but they do not know the circumstances of your life and the root of the unhappiness.

If your attitude is unhappy, worried, or depressed, often you will express yourself negatively. This effects the people around you you, which is why the negative feedback. 

But most importantly, it effects you. You need to feel good about yourself. It sounds like this has not always been possible for you. My advice and of course you certainly do not have to take it, would be to seek counseling and get find the root of your unhappiness, then you can overcome it. Once you do, it will make huge difference in how you view the world and how others view you.

Also stop and pat yourself on the back when you do something good. People are often quick to criticize, but seldom compliment a job well done. 

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When we get the response we want, we feel good about the encounter. Our need for positive interaction with other people is satisfied.  We feel good about the experience and repeat it.

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The most important ingredient in developing relationships is to treat other people as special. When we do this, they tend to treat us the same way. Suddenly we are no longer "just another employee", but someone to be remembered. Life moves along smother, with fewer problems, and our personal and work life experiences greatly improve. We establish win/win situations.

How can we make this happen? One way is to consider our interaction with others in terms of positive communication and negative communication. We call positive communication Warm and Quality Service. More important though is what these terms mean to people when they are put into action. They cause the giver and receiver to feel good about each other. Some examples are:

• Praise for a job well done
• A smile
• A "Thank You"

Anyone who constantly gets warm communication feels good personally and feels good about the person who gave it.

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Makes Us Feel Angry or Resentful

When we receive negative communication, we have the opposite reaction. Negative communication makes us feel angry and resentful. Think of your experiences as a customer. Have you ever been ignored when you were trying to get assistance? How did you feel?

How do you feel when you call a business and get switched to several people without actually being helped?

These kind of actions destroy good feelings.

Our dealings with people tend to be a mix of warm and cold or good and bad. Since people base their decisions on feelings, it benefits us to generate good feelings as often as possible. In virtually every situation, good feelings will usually produce quality customer service.

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Our dealings with people tend to be a mixture of warm and cold. People base their decisions on feelings, it benefits us to generate good feelings as often as we can. In every job environment, good feelings usually generate quality customer service.

What about the direct and indirect contact we have with co-workers? Does the way we do our job and the manner in which we respond to them have anything to do with customer service? Whenever we don't perform our jobs well customers as well as co-workers are affected. The results can be shoddy products manufactured on a production line, messages not given resulting in lost orders, and possibly lost customers, promising to order a garment for a special occasion for the customer of a sales associate, then forgetting to place the order. In these situations, your co-workers and the customers have received poor service. The quality of service that we provide within our organization definitely impacts the quality of service our customers receive.

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By consistently providing quality service to others, we create positive relationships. This not only helps us, and the people we deal with, but the entire organization. Consistent quality service takes consistent effort from each of us.

• We make decisions based on our feelings.
• Each of us needs the help and support of others.
• Dealing with people is a special part of our lives.
• The way we provide help, and support to others in our dealings with them will influence their feelings.
• People need compliments. The more compliments we receive the better we feel.
• People do not like to be treated rudely.
• Living up to the service expectations of others benefits everyone.

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