The way we deal with others is strongly affected by the way we feel about ourselves.

We all Have Bad Days

We all have feelings we don't want to share. If we wake up late on a work day, the car won't start, or we get soaked in the rain, chances are we don't feel very positive after any of those events. When we get to work, we try to carry on as usual, but people pick up on our attitudes very quickly. If they ask what's wrong, we usually say, "nothing" and get on with our work. It's usually obvious to everyone that something is wrong.

Keeping a "stiff upper lip" doesn't fool anyone. Think of someone you know well. Can they really hide their true feelings from you for very long? Of course not. Just as you are sensitive to the feelings of people around you, they are sensitive to your feelings.

If your attitude is negative, or if we're worried or depressed about something, our attitude will quickly be noticed by other people. It can't avoid having having a negative impact on the service we provide.

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The most important rule in positive communication is to feel good about ourselves.

That doesn't happen automatically. We need to overcome those things that get in the way. The first step is to recognize that our customers rarely are the cause of our problems. If we understand and remember this, we will deal with people in a more positive manner.

To deal successfully with others, we need to deal successfully with ourselves.

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 Learn to love yourself first and then love others.Thanks Cathe

 learner

How often do you give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done? Chances are, not often enough. Do you get many compliments for doing your job right from your go-workers and boss? Wouldn't we all feel better about our jobs and how well we do them, if we felt we were being appreciated? Actually quality performance is usually noticed, but not often praised. Our jobs are important to the company ~ otherwise we would no be employed there. When you know you are doing your job well, give yourself a compliment, especially if no one else praises your performance. That's why compliments are important. We need to take a step back and savor our better moments. We need a foundation of self praise, to counterbalance whatever negative experiences we may encounter.

For many of us, that isn't easy to do. We're taught to be modest from an early age. We feel th praise, especially self praise in not necessary. That attitude ignores the feelings of one very important person: YOU! We need to receive compliments when we deserve them. It is our right and obligation to give ourselves a pat on the back.

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When we do get compliments from other people, we need to gracefully accept them If we're not used to getting many compliments, we may be suspicious or confused by a single compliment. Do you remember when a friend gave you a compliment on a new outfit?

It felt good didn't it? We can accept compliments like that from people we know; and need to feel good about accepting them from others.

The clothing compliments brings up another point. Studies show that we feel good about our ourselves when we look. When we're wearing nice clothes, have a new hairdo, or successfully lose five pounds, we  feel good. 

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Appearance is very important to the way we deal with others. Things like wearing neat, clean clothing, having clean hair, visiting a barber, or beauty shop regularly, even having shined shoes, and well kept fingernails make people react to us in a positive way.

That's because good personal grooming makes us feel good about ourselves. For most of us, grooming habits are compliments which we pay ourselves from time to time, let's enjoy them. If we practice giving ourselves compliments when we deserve them, we are well on our way to interacting positively with others.

Giving ourselves these compliments also helps in dealing with with our own problems. When we're feeling badly about some aspect of our life, on or off the job, it impacts all other parts of our life. We get down on ourselves, and become very negative.

But we need to keep it in perspective. If we have a problem at home, it helps to recognize that our co-workers had nothing to do with it. And if we have a problem on the job, it doesn't help to take the problem home.

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When we feel good about ourselves, we know that we can solve those problems. Maybe not immediately, but we can solve them. Just remembering that allows us to put the problem in perspective and to put them aside while we concentrate our efforts in more productive areas. Worrying over problems never solves them, it just makes them worse. The idea is to remember that we can solve them at the right time.

That outlook begins when we begin to give ourselves compliments, or patting ourselves on the back for something well done. It gives us more self-confidence, and we will enjoy ourselves much, much more.

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• People we serve notice our attitudes and feelings no matter how hard we try to hide them.
• When we accomplish something worthwhile on or off the job, we deserve recognition.
• Even if we don't get the compliments from others, we can and should give them to ourselves.
• Accept compliments for what they are and don't be suspicious of them.
• Good appearance is a compliment to ourselves, and generates compliments from others.
• To deal successfully with others we must first deal successfully with ourselves.
• Feel good about yourself: you are a very special person.

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Hi there

Feeling good today

Georgia

I struggle with this, particularly when it comes to work. I have been fired twice in the past year, both because my skills were not up to the level that they wanted. I have NEVER received a positive performance review at work except for at a temporary test-scoring job, and even that one I could only score certain kinds of tests well. I have been fired from 5 jobs total, and nearly fired from a couple of others, as well as having several jobs that I simply wasn't there long enough for anything to happen (temp jobs and such). I am living alone, 1200 miles away from my family, and wondering how I am going to be able to pay my bills.

I am trying to figure out ways to improve my skills, because about the only jobs in my field that have not been outsourced overseas are very senior-level positions. I sometimes wonder why I bothered going through all that college to begin with. People keep telling me to take more classes, take more classes...but it seems like employers want a higher level of knowledge than any of the classes teach. Maybe I should try to just get into an easier line of work (if I could find something...)

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My experience has been that it does not matter what job you do, as long as you are happy doing it. If you are unhappy with your job you will be miserable, and chances are those around you will be miserable also.

Find a job that you like, one that you do not resent having to get up for everyday. You will feel much better about yourself and preform much better at your job.

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I LIKED the jobs I was fired from! I seem to do better at jobs that bore me! The only jobs I've been any good at were test scoring (which is purely temporary), computer operator (which is becoming obsolete), and library assistant. Let me tell you, computer operator is a BORING job!

I took a test for another programming job and don't think I did very well. But then, some of the questions were advanced level. What's really bad is how many basic level questions I got wrong! And there was a lot of stuff I'd never even HEARD of on that test, although this is supposedly about the stuff I have the most experience with in IT. I guess I'm going to need some more in-depth classes and such. I hope I can get some financial aid, as I am now working just temp jobs as test scorer and stuff, and not making much money. I am not working this week. I thought I had a job but I showed up this morning and they'd made a mistake! It wasn't just me though. Several people had been called and showed up this morning for a supposed scanning job, but it is actually an editing job and starts NEXT week! Geez, if I'd made a mistake calling people in like that, I'd be kicked out the door in NO time!

What I really need to find is a junior level IT job (one that hasn't been outsourced overseas!), and between that and the classes, gain more knowledge and skill.

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