Care2 make a difference

10

10 log in or sign up to start earning Butterfly Credits today!
learn more »
earn credits for web search

community & fun

groups

get together & make a difference

Groups > Broken Angels Survivors > Discussions > Topic: Are you a survivor ? - 1
Topic: Are you a survivor ? - 1

powered by Care2.com • Care2 Home • E-cards & Fun • Shopping • Healthy Living • News Network • Petitions • Click to Donate


Psycho W.	Are you a survivor ? - 1 December 30, 2006 3:43 PM New Year new thread [ send green star]
Reverend P.	HEALING! January 01, 2007 5:44 PM I'm a survivor! Pennie [ send green star] [ accepted]
Pamela W.	January 01, 2007 5:48 PM Hi Pennie, I'm a survivor too. I'm glad we are new friends. I'm here for ya! Pam S [ send green star] [ accepted]
Rdlght O.	No have not survived it. January 02, 2007 8:13 AM No one said you could live through it and still not be a survivor. [ send green star] [ accepted]
Suzanne R.	Well I survived it, physically.... January 22, 2007 5:05 PM Well I survived it physically, but do we ever really get to say we are survivors emotionally, and if you know how, could you share the way with me!! All my love and a thousand hugs, Suzanne [ send green star] [ accepted]
Simply P.	January 22, 2007 8:42 PM emotionally~ for me, some days are harder than others. I believe I am what you would call a healing survivor~ I have found ways to get through those days when triggers from my past occur just like with my alcoholism~ which I have been in recovery for 9 yrs I have to do it ~ one day at atime~ so far I have experienced more good days than bad~ as far as abuse is concerned.... I no longer am subject to use. My gratitude helps keep me away from wanting that in my life any longer. thanks~ Peachy [ send green star] [ accepted]
Monica R.	January 24, 2007 10:01 AM Survior~ I guess you can say I'm a survior.. Just depends what i survived. I have self-destructive behavior which i'm not as bad as i was... eating disorder??.. i'm still trying to win the battle... sexual abuse from years ago?? i don't really remember it and i'm ok with that. [ send green star] [ accepted]
anonymous	January 27, 2007 5:57 AM WELL IN STILL WORKING ON THE WHOLE EATING DISORDER AND SELF MUTALATION THING...BUT I GUESS YOU CAN SAY IM A SURVIVOR BECAUSE SO FAR I HAVE SURVIVED BEING HIT EVERYNIGHT..I HAVE ALSO SURVIVED RAPE, WELL FOR NOW IT HAS LEAD ME TO SOME SUICIDE ISSUES....BUT IF YOU ASK ME ANYONE WHO IS WILLING TO GET HELP CAN BE CONSIDERED A SURVIVOR... [report anonymous abuse] [ accepted]
Sarah M.	Definitely a survivor...aiming for Thriver January 29, 2007 3:40 PM This is a big deal for me. I wrote a paper about it when I was in college (started at 39, finished at 44). Oh, and by the way, I got an AS degree in Telecommunications...not Psych... My theory is that there are three stages in this process. I am completely open to comments and challenges to this theory, so please feel free to respond. Stage 1: Victim. The person in this stage either does or does not have their memories. They are not in recovery of any kind, and life is blowing them around like a leaf. They may have compulsive addictions to various substances and processes. They are often suicidal, and may have made attempts. Their relationships are marked by distrust and misunderstandings. Rage is a common emotion, although getting to the more subtle emotions may be impossible; there may be impulse-urge control problems. As for mental disorders, they can range from character disorers to dissociative to neurotic to psychotic. This all depends on the level and length of abuse, the victim's own responses to events, and their general constitution. This person is in a great deal of pain, and does not have a guide to help steer them to the next course on their path. My heart is filled with compassion for the Victim, as my own victim stage was extremely difficult and messy. Stage 2: Survivor. This person either does or does not have their memories, but is aware that something happened. Some survivors never receive visual memories, but their sense that something horrible happened is quite clear. They may receive body memories, which can be very disorienting. The Survivor is actively working on their recovery, and at some point they accept that it will take as long as it is going to take. The key to going through the Survivor stage is commitment. YOU ARE WORTH IT!!! MOTHER/FATHER/GOD/SPIRIT DON'T MAKE NO JUNK!!! This stage is perhaps the longest stage in one's life. I consider my own survivor stage to have started in 1991, when I was 3 years into recovery and therapy and came into my memories. I processed trauma and did a lot of grieving for several years. Perhaps a year into that part of the process, I developed the patience to let the entire healing process take the time it takes. It's not on MY timetable; I am on healing's timetable. I accept this, and go forward. One of the most important things I learned in this stage is that suicidal thoughts are very common. Once I had developed an "inner observer", I could then feel the feeling and look at it objectively. I could say to myself "Oh, there's that feeling again; I must have something under the surface that needs my attention". I have never made an attempt on my life, although during the thick of trauma processing, I recall flipping one second to another from suicidal to homicidal - depression to rage and back again. This went on for a while, but eventually calmed down and passed. Stage 3: Thriver. This is the stage I hope to achieve in my lifetime. I believe that when I am a Thriver, I will rarely have suicidal feelings; I believe that I will be unafraid of whatever will come next. I feel some of this now, but still entertain doubts about my self worth. I no longer, however, LIVE in self-loathing. I am involved in a program called FA (Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous), which is a kind of successor program to OA. I have lost all my weight and am maintaining my weight. I am actively involved in spiritual matters (in a very down-to-earth way - I call it God, and I pray for abstinence, and for the betterment of all, including those I especially dislike). I am not particularly obsessed with my childhood abuse anymore. I have forgiven my mother for her neglect, and continue to pray for the sexual abuser that so damaged me. I feel that I have a long way to go, but I am getting there. I want to encourage anyone to respond to this, ask me any questions you like. Please do not blast me though - my intent here is to state MY belief system and to share some of my experiences. Blessings to you all, Sarah [ send green star] [ accepted]
Toni K.	February 12, 2007 4:37 PM Currently working on it. [ send green star] [ accepted]
Pamela W.	An other bad day March 03, 2007 4:13 PM I just feel like screming today. I wish this day would finally end. I'm trying to hang on, but I fear my rope is getting much thinner. [ send green star] [ accepted]
Sarah M.	Another Bad Day... March 03, 2007 5:18 PM Hang in there Pam; you'll make it through. I don't want to try to rescue you, but I can offer a few alternatives: Take a bath Take a walk Go window shopping Pick up the phone and call someone, then let them talk Try something creative, such as painting or writing or knitting or sewing, etc. Screaming is a completely valid expression of frustration. Keep writing here! Hugs, Sarah This post was modified from its original form on 03 Mar, 17:18 [ send green star] [ accepted]
Daphne B.	March 08, 2007 2:08 AM Yes. Tremendously healed from so much and such extreme traumas. Thank you for inviting me here. [ send green star] [ accepted]
Jan L.	March 23, 2007 8:10 AM Hi Survivor, yes, hoping to be a thriver soon.... Having more counselling at the mo, cos my ex was arrested and is in a bail hostel tagged - he is accused of abusing 2 boys we used to mind... thought and believed he'd never do that, as he was abused HIMSELF forgodsake! I can't believe it, but have made a statement for police, they dont need me a witness, but i will do it if they do decide they need me. His trial is Oct 15th this year... I am going for a divorce and seeing a counsellor becos it has brought up yet again the sexual, emotional, mental and physical abuse i suffered as a child over 10 yrs from age 5 - 15... It didnt come up for me till i was 40 in 96, and have been dealing with it since then, repressed everything, worked my ass off in secretarial jobs for 24 yrs then got made redundant and my body started showing me signs of the abuse and one night i woke u and remembered being raped age 9... was terrified of abuser, he was mums boyf - she never wed him..my dad couldve done more he never came to see us, felt abandoned.. my mum used me as a confidante from age 10 on... that was tough... Coped by repressing, drinking, have been thru 2 disastrous marriages now and i'm 50 .... hey ho... will get thru the next months...somehow .. Have had to move countries (back to UK from eire) Living at my sisters and her hubs flat...no bedroom of my own, but happier than i've ever been... My ex was a control freak, cut me off from my sis for years, causing trouble in family (mine and his), wouldn't work, always ill (but wouldnt go to doc), i supported him for yrs thinking he'd change... He mentally and verbally abused me, and emotionally too... thought if it wasn't physical it couldn't be abuse... hmmm learned differently now...thank God.. Am getting there, am on antideps (first time in my life - have had depression all my life - my ex didn't believe in taking tabs so didnt want me to take them either) .. and valium... and smoking again after giving up for 8 yrs (since last Oct when he was arrested and extradited to UK)... cant tell u...my whole world just exploded... Anyway... in a safe place now, can be mee if I can only find Me again... My counsellor said today write a letter to ur dad about how angry u r he was not there for u (he passed in 2005) and tear it up and burn it.. Also to do affirmations like I LOVE U looking in the mirror - easier said than done... have this core belief from childhood that i'm worth nothing, and am bad damaged inside. Never had kids of my own and loved those 2 boys like my own.. Can see now what ex was doing, bastard paedophile... cant believe i stayed with him for 17 yrs...what planet was I on?? Tell u what i'm takking no more Sh*t from any bloke ever again... getting stronger... good to talk and have this group.. love to all of ya Jan Lee [ send green star] [ accepted]
anonymous	March 23, 2007 8:24 AM hi all im back and have survived another abusive one and now i couldnt be happier left the ex about 2 months ago and ive had some housing issues but now im in a home and doing well yes I am a survivor once again [report anonymous abuse] [ accepted]
Mike K.	yeah March 24, 2007 8:11 PM mega couseling, getting over the bad stuff from november have interview soon [ send green star] [ accepted]

New Topic Back To Topics

Read Code of Conduct

This group:
Broken Angels Survivors
144 Members

View All Topics
New Topic

Track Topic
Mail Preferences

Copyright © 2009 Care2.com, inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved