When someone is forced into being single by either divorce, betrayal or even widowhood, it is not a pleasant journey.  The grieving part is the lead indicator and makes the passage from being in a committed relationship to being single and alone.  Once the grieving part is past and the issue that "forced someone into being single" is gone, then one must find their own way around.  Questions like, "should I do that"; "how do I do that"; "how do I fix that"; "where do I get that information" and simply "now what do I do" all come to mind for me.  It seemed as if at first I was turning in circle never feeling like I was making progress.  I made terrible financial mistakes with my money trying to get divorced, and make my way.  I spent too much, made the divorce so costly due to the amount of emotional betrayal I felt.  I spent energy and time on "him" instead of on me.  I bought what I wanted whether I "needed" it or not.  I went where I wanted to regardless of what I could afford.  I charged my way to happiness so I thought.  Now that my head has cleared, and the emotional fog is gone, I am able to see that now I must "dig" myself out of this mess I put myself in.  I remember my southern gentlemen father saying to me as a child, "Darlin' if you find yourself in a pile of crap, keep digging there's a pony in there somewhere".  So I am in my pile of crap and I know in my heart there is a pony in there some where.  So, I dig on but with a happy heart, a clear purpose and an understanding that I am going to be ok and live "happily ever after" with myself...