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Ariel P.

"Waste Less, Use Less Resources"

Lindenhurst, NY, USA
male
married, 1 child
Speaks: English and Spanish/Bilingual
Joined Feb 5, 2010


 
My Page Billboard
How To Give Your Cat A Pill   cat,black cat,cartoon

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.


6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little %*#**!*# front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

 
Personal Professional Contact Singles
Joined Feb 5, 2010 Activist Aspirations Casual 
Here for Support a Cause 
Group Host of none yet
Groups (APPPN) A Petition Posting & Peoples Network, (PBS) Public Broadcasting Service, A Free Stuff Network (AFSN), ADD SOME MUSIC TO YOUR DAY*, Across The Universe..Peace in Friendship, Birds of the World, Care2 Feedback and Suggestions, Chatter Box, FAIR-SHARE, Friends of Feral Cats, ORANGUTANS: Men of the Forest, Occupy@Care2, One World Family Of Friends, Saving Big Cats more »
Hometown  
Homepage  
Birthday Dec 30  
Languages English and Spanish/Bilingual  
About Me Always seeing the positive side, always funny, kind, and willing to help others. I am sarcastic and cynical. I expect the worst from others, which means when someone is kind, helpful, just nice, it feels good!
  Introduce yourself to Ariel
  Lifestyle
Pets not ready for another pet, Lost our cat  
Activist Aspirations Casual
Political Leaning
Religions yes  
Eating Habits Drink Water, small meals often, three times a day, Keep it Healthy, eatting what I like!  
Wild Fact About Me Sarcasm is my greatest talent.
My Philosophy You are here, so enjoy life.
Choose to live happy and to laugh, not to live your life angry and upset.
Love is in everything that is good, so I always strive to be good.
What Gives Me Hope 1. People are more tolerant than ever.
2. All of our voices can be heard, thanks to the internet and tech devices.
If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by
What/who changed my life and why
What Bugs Me bugs ironically, liars and hypocrites, Litter Bugs  
Passions Comedy, Sports!, MUSIC!!!!!, my wife and family  
Inspirations Jesus's teachings and life  
What Scares Me Religious extremism of ANY religion  
  Favorites
Role Models  
Quotation "Alcohol: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" - Homer Simpson

Love is patient and is kind; love doesn't envy. Love doesn't brag, is not proud, doesn't behave itself inappropriately, doesn't seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil;
doesn't rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
- Paul's 1st letter to the Corinthians

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs. - Charles de Gaulle
Interests Nature and Wildlife, Spirituality/Philosophy, learning everything about anything  
Books don't read enough lately, In Defense of Food by Michael Pollan, Edgar Allan Poe, 1984 by George Orwell  
Music Depeche Mode, 80's, ALL KINDS...DEPENDS ON MY MOOD, The BEATLES!!!!!!!!!, U2, classical music, Nirvana, David Bowie, Deep Purple, New Order, The Police, David Garrett, Bob Marley, Muse, Led Zeppelin, 80's new wave, Abba to ZZtop, The Cure, Rock and Roll, alternative  
Movies simpson the movie, Shrek 1 &amp, amp, amp, 2, Back to the Future Series, Whale Rider, Rabbit Proof Fence, Ace Ventura Pet detective, Spaceballs, Airplane!, Casablanca, Wizard of Oz, The Princess Bride, Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, comedy  
TV Shows The Office (US), The Simpsons, PBS TV, The Middle, NY Jets, Hockey (NY Islanders), Married... With Children, The Odd Couple, Get Smart, Seinfield, Star Trek, Big Bang Theory  
Favorite Foods  
Favorite Places home :), Nature Center &amp, Zoo in Holbrook, nature  
Can't Live Without Music!!!!, ICE CREAM!, laughter, chocolate  
  Introduce yourself to Ariel
 
My Thank You Notes
Friends of Ariel

Larry D G.

Lynn G.

Linda N.

Judith L.

Kat H.

View all: 47 friends
Ariel's Photos

DOGGIE RESCUE

Penguins

Our Cat
38 photos, 5 albums »
My Video    
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Recent Activity


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    Comment Board
    Viewing 20 of 168: view all | add a comment »
    Sep 3, 2014 5:08 AM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Aug 11, 2014 3:40 AM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Jun 20, 2014 6:22 PM

    linda n. (2910)
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    To find a Seashell is to Discover a world of Imagination.....luv Linda
    Apr 1, 2014 4:53 AM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Feb 1, 2014 6:56 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Jan 21, 2014 4:37 AM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Dec 24, 2013 3:07 AM

    Erin R. (169)





    Dec 24, 2013 2:56 AM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Oct 20, 2013 5:04 AM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Jul 8, 2013 1:02 AM

    linda n. (2910)
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    HOT  Diggity Doggie..lol.. luv~linda
    May 9, 2013 10:26 PM

    Dot A. (133)
    What are you hearing today?
    What do you think about it?
    Why care? or not?

    PLEASE CLICK the TOP LINE
    to LINK NOW 
    USE THE POWER OF
    THE POSITIVE VOICE-
    to whisper gently into someone's ear,
    and watch the world change,
    ever so softly.

    Mar 11, 2013 2:13 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Feb 11, 2013 5:46 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Jan 21, 2013 2:19 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Dec 30, 2012 12:28 AM

    Judy C. (106)
    squirrel
    Dec 29, 2012 4:47 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
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    Dec 24, 2012 7:40 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
    Happy Birthday Ariel, we miss you on "Chatterbox" come back soon, hugs
    gbi7300e8229286_myspace.gif

    Dec 23, 2012 3:18 PM

    Ingrid A. (530)

    Happy Birthday Ariel. Hope its special. Hope you are well, never see you in groups anymore.


    Dec 21, 2012 9:06 PM

    Sue L. (467)

    Dec 17, 2012 2:01 PM

    Pauline H. (116)
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