From Dylan Moran's 'Little Book of Calm'

"...let go once in a while, you're a loose lily floating down an amber river..."

"...add a drop of lavender to your bath and soon, you'll soak yourself calm..."

"...if you want to feel calm, eat more raw fruit and vegetables, yoghurt, milk and seeds..."

"...when you rest, you are a king, surveying your estate. Look at the woodland, the peacocks on the lawn...be the king of your own calm kingdom...."

"...when you're feeling under pressure, do something different....roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange..."

"...be on the look out for things that make you laugh. If you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh..."