"To fill the empty void"
Nampa, ID, USA
female, age 40
Joined Jul 24, 2006
Youth Suicide Prevention,
Wolf Awareness and Protection,
Same Sex Marriage,
Mental Health Awareness,
March of Dimes,
Legalization of Medical Marijuana,
Habitat for Humanity
My Page Billboard
I am still figuring all of this out....here is a little something about me.
I am an only child, and the only/first girl on both sides of the family-yes I am spoiled and I have a hard time sharing my toys. I met my husband online-we have been married for over 10 years-damn that's a long time. You can see a beautiful video montage of some photos that were taken at our renewal ceremony/hand fast- the video was put together by my dear husband/computer geek and then posted on youtube- I can't figure out how to embed the link- so basically you can view it by going to YouTube and search for 'Handfast Blessing'.
I have two furry children- Anu and Boadicea both are spoiled and they rarely get along with each; or so they would have me believe- they have been caught on more than one occasion sleeping not more than a foot apart from the other- they have never been caught cuddling, and I don't think that they ever will, but I know that they secretly do like each other. Anu unfortunately has lost 5 teeth recently due to bad dental care by Mom (me) and age- I feel horrible about this especially because 2 of the teeth that she lost were the canines- no more fangs for my big bad kitty but I love them both and they love me, any way we will say that until the first teeth brushing episode starts- then we'll see if I am still liked or loved or the human that is allowed to live here because I get the food in the mornings.
I no longer work in the NICU- in fact I have not worked there since January 2008- I was on Medical Leave/ FMLA- well that has now ran out, my job is in the process of being replaced; I am told that I still technically work for the hospital and that I am now on Personal Leave- and when I am released to go back to work, whenever that may be- if that every does happen- I am eligible for re-hire if there is a position open that I am qualified for. Right now I just feel completely lost- I was always the one that knew what they were going to do when they grew up- now I have no idea what I am going to do tomorrow. It is frustrating being so confused and not knowing where my life is headed- this is not an exciting roller coaster ride- this is not one that I got onto by choice, nor is it one that I know how to get off of- and I want off very badly- it isn't any fun being afraid of your own life- or having your entire family being scared for you because they don't know what to do for you or how to help you. All I want is my life back- not necessarily the way that it was, but some where close to it would be nice. Waking up and knowing that this nightmare was going to be over soon would make me very happy.
I have odd likes such as, winnie the pooh, nine inch nails, classical music (I play the piano), pink, black, GLITTER-okay, so as Megan puts it,I am a perky goth- but these days I am more of a not so perky goth- I am still wearing black and dark colors but I am reverting back to what made me happy- my childhood- and I have found that in gothic lolita- not the sweet stuff- can't bring myself to do the cute little girlie stuff- still wear dark colors and black- but I have gone back to dresses, skirts, ribbons and lace.
||Jul 24, 2006
||Meeting Friends, Support a Cause
|Group Host of
Cat Lovers, Habitat for Humanity, Healthy Cooking, Jane Goodall Institute: Race for the Primates, NWF - National Wildlife Federation, Pagans, Susan G. Komen Foundation, The Nature Conservancy (TNC), WWF - World Wildlife Fund, YMCA
Sept 04, 1975
||I love learning, friends, and family. I have a bad habit of perfectionism and occasional anal retentiveness. This has recently had a DSM-IV diagnosis/explanation given to it- I already knew part of it, but some of it has completely thrown me for a loop and I am just not coping well with any of it- I am feeling lost, like my brain has turned on me- like I am a completely different person some days- some days I don't know who I am or how to describe myself- other than a little girl lost in a great big world.
||Introduce yourself to Sara
Keep it Healthy
|Wild Fact About Me
||1 Tattoo- needs re-coloring, possibly updating; thinking about getting another one- a big one. There is a wild streak, but not as much any more.
||Everyone stops bleeding-eventually....
|What Gives Me Hope
||Knowing sometimes dreams turn into something else much more beautiful than originally intended and that those things are sometimes better than the original dream itself.
|If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by
||Make sure that EVERY life is acknowledged- every baby would receive a birth certificate- not just a certificate of stillbirth- but an actual legal birth certificate- they were here dammit- acknowledge it please.
|What/who changed my life and why
||'Wicked'- there are always two sides to every story, and perception is everything- and everyone does deserve the chance to fly and defy gravity! So if you can't find me-look towards the western sky- I am defying gravity.
|What Bugs Me
not being understood,
being confused all the time,
not being able to be me,
people who don't "listen",
The destruction of rural areas,
Any one that would hurt an animal,
Any one that would hurt a child
making a difference,
My best friend,
|What Scares Me
loosing my mind,
my dreams disappearing,
my mental health,
||Grief is not a sign of weakness nor Loss of Faith but a Price of Love
Studying Buddhism- just starting,
HH the 14th Dalai Lama's books,
Pema Chodron's books,
Michael W. Smith,
Meditations with the Dalai Lama,
Tibetan Bells &,
Wild Divine Band
Romeo and Juliet,
Natural Born Killers,
nightmare before christmas,
Dead Poets Society,
Fried Green Tomatoes,
So I married an axe murderer,
Boys on the Side,
Dexter-until he moves to cable,
Bittman Cooks Everything- PBS,
Sushi and Sashimi,
sticky rice with mango,
Somewhere beautiful and quiet,
|Can't Live Without
||Introduce yourself to Sara
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