I am bipolar and prone to depression. I had a rough childhood and can't seem to move past it. I can get hyper very quickly. Many people think I am strange or unstable, but also smart, and with a good vocabulary. I have a dark, morbid sense of humor and my social skills aren't the best, but I am working on them. I am a vegan and of Germanic descent. I am either a hypersomniac or insomniac.
I was over 2 months premature and not expected to live to a year. And here I am!
My first word was "bird" at 5 months and I learned to read simple sentences before I was 3.
I spoke German fluently as a young child but none growing up- and I lost it!
I have an eerily high pain tolerance but also a high pain threshold. This means that I feel physical sensations very early, including pain, but I can put up with more pain than most people (by a long shot). I credit meditation and detachment.
I am a volunteer for a cervical cancer vaccine. I plan to let science use my body some more when this test run is over.
I've survived acute peritonitis (without medical attention)
I cut off the end of my right middle finger when I was 2. It's my earliest memory.
I have a fraternal twin sister. We are most likely polar body- this occurs when one egg splits before fertilization and is then fertilized by different sperm. We look very much alike but are not monozygotic so polar body theory explains it.
My Philosophy
Every living thing should be respected and shown love. Depression is a natural consequence of extended pain and abuse. If you are not emotionally crippled, it is your duty to support and comfort those that are in pain. I also believe pain will always be with us, it is part of existence.
What Gives Me Hope
Animals that I nurture and who recover from terrible abuse. Sometimes beautiful music reaches me on a level where words can't, and it stirs something in me.
My dedicated friend and mentor Jyl gives me hope.
If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by
First, I would shut down all factory farms and demand that the (living) animals be released to a sanctuary. I would put money into cloning so that scientists could "grow" just the parts of meat that people eat, without making a sentient being suffer.
I would increase the fines substantially for illegal dumping, intoxicated driving, etc...
ALL homes housing children would be occasionally and randomly checked by social workers to make sure nothing was off. There would be no stigma attached to this because EVERYONE would go through it.
The emphasis on stopping and helping child abuse survivors would be increased.
"Free" Housing would be given to the homeless- those too ill to work or even manage money. These homes would consist of single, clean rooms and they would be buzzed in and out (no keys to lose). A bathroom at the end of the hall would serve everyone. This would be a stop gap between the streets and a half way house, while their paperwork and information was processed.
There would be legalization of marijuana immidiately, although it would be heavily taxed. The tax money would be spent on environmental and health related costs. Hemp would be grown to make clothes, paper, and for other products instead of cutting down so many trees.
All Zoos and Aquariums with large animals would gete subsidies ennabling them to VASTLY increase the size of enclosures and pools for animals that would not survive if released. Those that could potentially be released would be.
Fur farms would be immidiately closed and fur would be illegal. Faux fur is good enough. People would be paid to put sticks in the traps of trappers and all trappers discovered would also be havily fined.
That is just a start...
What/who changed my life and why
My friend Jyl probably saved my life. I started emailing her when I was 16 and very screwed up... she never put me down or got tired with me. Over the years as I have gotten better, she has told me how proud she is of me. She treats me like family. I think I wouldn't have tried to make it in this life nearly so hard without her kindness towards me.
Reasons not to commit suicide
(Dec 19)
Here are some reasons I compiled not to commit suicide. Even if you are estranged from your family or have no friends RIGHT NOW there i...
more »
Mantras for people with severe depression
(Dec 19)
Just some "mantras" or thoughts for those suffering from severe depression and seeking some sort of comfort. All slogans/quot...
more »
It's easy to embed a video hosted by one of the following sites on your
MyPage. Simply add the URL of the video you want to share, from one of
these sites:
• Google Video • YouTube • Jumpcut • Vmix • MySpace Videos
Hit the "edit" button on the "My Video"
module. and add the URL of the video you want to share. Not
sure what the URLs look like? Here are examples from each of the
supported sites: