I broke my High School record for the 2 mile in track... twice ^_^
What Gives Me Hope
The unconditional love of logan ^_^
If I were Mayor, I'd make the world a better place by
What/who changed my life and why
My whole world changed the moment I lost control of my anxiety. It sounds stupid, people think anxiety isn't that bad... I thought anxiety wasn't that bad, I was wrong.
One week after years of disappointment and loss, I settled in to the mindset that it was never going to end. I had my first panic attack, it lasted 5 hrs, I had no idea what was happening or how to control it. I was so weak I couldn't walk from the bedroom to the bathroom without stopping and the pain never stopped. It was a Sunday night I didn't sleep... For three days I continued having anxiety attacks. I lost my job, there was no way I could go, it took me 2 weeks just to be able to function around the house.
I thought it would just go away, it didn't. All I could do was lie somewhere even sitting up for more than 2 hours caused severe pain in my upper back/ribs, the muscles where so tight my ribs along my sternum and spine would pop when I breathed. I have gone to the doctor maybe 12 times in the last year and a half. I've been put on so many damn medications... they always make it worse, make me violent - thats a pleasant one- , sleep for 16 hrs everyday, more chest pain, palpitations, mood swings, not to mention my body became dependant so when I stopped there was even more...
I have refused to take anymore medications. I can't drink alcohol, no caffiene, no loud noises, crowded places. I'm in pain but it has gotten so much better. I can actually run again, I spent a year not even being able to go for a walk. Having just about everthing taken away changes a person. I am so much more respectful, appreciative, and well happy.