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Jun 10, 2006

I'm on a spiritual quest to realize that light that has been dwelling in me my entire life. I realize that I am but a reflection of god, pure perception. I am evolving ever upword constantly finding peices of knowledge that have been in my head the whole time but I just never realized it. I am. The very fact that something exists instead of nothing and that I am here to perceive it is exhilerating to me. Sometimes when I'm reading or meditating I reach near bliss for a few seconds coniciding with me finding a truth. I have to constantly change my tonal just to adjust with all the new truths I start to understand. However, I still feel that I'm being held back. Is it the limitations of my physical body or the fact that my view on reality is still very narrow, even if it is wider than the average persons. I know some of the things I think of as truths are lies and my preconcieved notions that I take as fact are actually wrong and holding back my spiritual growth. But can something not be wrong and right? Does the very fact that I percieve something, even if it in my mind.. does that not make it real? The mind doesn't know the difference between the physical world we are curently in and the consiousness where our mind dwells. I struggle to find the truth from the lies, I want to be perfect but my view of what perfection is is fractured so how can I even really say what is good and what is evil? That's duality and so if god is everything, he must contain both dualities of good and evil. Some people say what evil really is, is just the inaction of good. Darkness is the lack of light. This did seem like a truth when I first heard it. Someone said I have to stop trying to interpret what I percieve and just percieve it because the interpretation limits it to what is currently in my tonal. I don't know if I'll ever reach my goal, sometimes I question if it's possible to do in a body as limited as my current one but I'm pretty sure that's just a cop out.  Whatever happens, I always promise to myself to remain diligent in my search for answers. If I don't ever give up, I'll have to find what I'm looking for if I have an infinite amount of time to do it.
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Posted: Saturday June 10, 2006, 9:33 pm
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David Xamilton
male, age 27, single
Austin, TX, USA
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Jun
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Also, just wanted to post this saying I\'m looking for the manuscript. I\'m on the list. If someone finds another one or has another way I could read it, I\'d appreciate it very much. Thanks.


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