The Child Molester of my daughter, was Convicted and Sentenced Wednesday 4-8-2009.......

After one year and 6 months, my step-daughter’s boyfriend was convicted of two felony counts for a lesser plea bargain. The guidelines of sentencing aren’t as severe as two counts of CSC 1st Degree (person under 13). I wasn’t happy, but my health and my daughter’s healing was becoming hard to maintain, as this case lasted so long to reach this point.

He has 6 months in County Jail, three years probation, continuous drug and alcohol testing, substance abuse treatment, and sex offender classes, along with HIV testing. He has to reimburse me what I paid for Kiana’s therapy so far, and mileage for two days that we had to drive in for the investigation, before he was charged and arrested. However, Probation is fighting the Prosecutor’s office and want him on the sex offender’s registry. The judge went with the prosecutor’s recommendation, but Probation knows the original charge was having sex with my 11 year old daughter. So, Probation will deal with him.

We did the best we could to help protect other young girls, and this man will get help for his problem. Hopefully, he changes his attitude, as the judge said when the offender didn’t say he was sorry and showed no remorse. The judge made it very clear to him, that when he comes before him next time, he better not have an attitude, that he did nothing wrong.

It was very hard to give my impact statement to how I feel to the crime and its affect to our family. My body started to shake so hard, that my husband had to hold me on both sides. I cried so hard, while trying to show I was strong, but I was a sack of mush. I did speak loudly for the whole court to hear my words, as I choked and gasped at moments, through the gushing tears. I tried so hard, but my body didn’t listen. I felt the huge weight of guilt, again, as I went over the details and I blame myself, just as much.., because I didn’t protect my daughter. This was a man we took in as family. I must forgive myself fully, before I can forgive this man and my step-daughter, who STILL remains with this man. My husband fell cried hard as he read his impact statement. We haven’t seen his two grandsons, since September of 2007. My husband grieves over not being in his grandsons’ life. His daughter said he will never see the boys again, when her boyfriend was charged. I was so proud of my daughter when she gave her impact statement. She cried and was shaking too. We had to leave immediately, because all of us were ready to let lose on the offender and his family.

I have been so strong throughout this case, so I am still in shock at how my body reacted to this experience. Apparently, I have much more healing to do, than I thought I did. I feel like the first moment I found out what this man had done to my little girl. She will never be able to share a moment with her girlfriends, of “the first time”, since this man stole her virginity. I feel all these feelings of rage, hurt, betrayal, guilt, and more..., all over again.....

I will get strong again, and my daughter and I can continue to heal while we put this experience behind us. The past is the past, and we must live in the “now.” I am too a survivor, and so was my mother. Three generations this crime has touched in my bloodline. I know this experience offers the sweet pain and suffering of Humility for us to embrace for learning. A huge catalyst for internal growth, connection to our true self, and to Spirit. Many golden opportunities are within Humility. I share my experiences with all, to bring Faith, Hope, and LOVE to another, that experiences like these have a much greater purpose. No matter what challenges we have set for this lifetime, our potential to be our Truth is very powerful and attainable, for any soul that "remembers" who they really are to come full circle.

Sharing our joys and pain helps everyone learn.
May blessings of abundance fill your lives...much love...namaste, dar