Tired

I work twice a week, between four and six hours, in our book store here,
it is pleasant for many kinds of interesting people pass through, all of them
beautiful in their own unique way.  There are others, who don’t necessarily
speak up, yet I also notice them, and some pull at my heart.

Yesterday there was on such person.  I noticed her sitting on a bench that is
placed in front of the counter, about ten feet away.   She was in her forties (later she
told me she was 47), blond, moving towards thinness, tired looking and perhaps
depressed.  So I started up a conversation with her.  I asked her if the heat bothered her, she smiled a very gentle, beautiful, smile and answered yes.  As we talked I learned
that she had some major medical problems.  Neuropathy being one of them, which is
often a painful condition often suffered from those who have diabetes; of which I found
out she had.  I then asked her if she had restless leg syndrome, and she said yes, which caused her to get very little sleep.  I related to her something my sister Jane passed on to me, for she also has restless leg syndrome.  So I said, “My sister told me that if you take a very hot shower, it can help”.  She said she would try it.

I also found out that she goes to a clinic, that does help her, but they are limited with
what medicines they can give.  So she does not get anything for her restless legs, or for her neuropathy or diabetes, which surprised me.  I ask if she was getting Medicaid, for it was obvious from looking at her that she could not work.  She said no, but she would look into it.  She seemed hopeless, her body betraying her in so many ways and I felt helpless knowing that there was nothing I could do for her. 

As I work behind the counter, I make prayer ropes, or rosaries, it depends what you want to use them for.  She as we continue to talk, I made one for her and gave it as a gift, telling her that I would pray for her intentions.  Then her friend came in and we also talked.  I learned that she has not been sick long, and she has already lost a lot of weight due to her untreated diabetes.  I again encourage her friend to get her to the Medicaid office for some help.  She smiled gently and said that she is near giving up, being so depressed and unable to sleep.  Then she left the store got into their car and left.  As they left, I could tell that soon she would most likely be going to the Emergency by ambulance if she did not get help.

I always feel deep frustration at these situations, but over the years I have learned my limitations in what I can do.  I hope that she will overcome her depression and try to get more help, for if not, I doubt that she will live long.  The world is filled with people who have very little, and then it is all taken from them when they become ill.   As I grow older simple answers elude me and the mystery becomes more opaque, yet I feel in some deep part of me a connection with her, and will pray for her.  Will it help?  I believe it will, though many will perhaps think it foolish.  However prayer seems natural to man, most people pray, it seems to be a given.  So prayer is part of my life almost like breathing, it is something I just do.  Not always well, yet I still do it. 

Yes I met Christ that day in a woman broken, disheartened, sick and ready to give up.  For Christ is everywhere, all we have to do is to learn to see.