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How an Aspies kid handled death~true story
Sep 28, 2009

 How my 14 year old son who suffers from Aspergers, Bi-polar, OCD and ADHD handled death.

  I was extremely upset and worried about my son after seeing a dog get hit by car and watched as he slowly died right in front of him. I took him to school  but I has bad feeling.. Most of you know of all his disabilities~ I did go inside to lwt them know whats going on and how worried I was about what he might do.

My mother had me young, she was only 16 so we grew up together, and were best friends. My son and her were very close. In her eyes that was her son, that she got to have.  She past away sept 9th 2007 at age 52.  Two days before my birthday. My son was 12.  The day we were told she died  he thought it was a joke  ( he told me this the other day) He cried for 15 min and that was it. Over the last two years when I cry he get angry with me.   That always bothered me that he never grieved. Now I know why. For the last two years he thought she was comming back.  He new she died but didnt understand what that meant.

  My mom was one of the few people who understands my sons problems and unusual emotional behavior from the bi-polar and Aspergers~
On our way to school this morning he was not himself. He kept lying down, seemed depressed. That is when he told me how upset it was watching the dog as he slowly drifted away and died quietly like he went to sleep. He said it reminded him of nana, And the devastated look on his face. It worried me. I decided I had better tell the school how he was doing. I let him tell them how he felt. . He told them for past two years must he held it in, ( I think he never really understood until he witnessed the death of the dog) and that he felt like he was going to break . he looked at me and said I might cry, but don’t get mad.... Remember he always yells at me for crying. I told him of course not you need to cry. He had never mourned, Untill he seen the dog die  Note**** this is a major breakthrough ( for Someone with Autism)
 He finally learned how to express sadness, and grief and it is ok to feel this way. But then  We were up against an entirely new emotion that he has never dealt with depression, You never know how he might perceives things. My sons problems usually result in unusual emotional behavior from the bi-polar and Aspgersers~ unrealistic outcome, like cutting or hurting himself.
  ~Well to make a long story short. I was upset after I left the school. Got home I was a nervous wreak. Then I got my call to come to school right away 10 till 2:00. When I got into the office, ***Sean Came straight up to me a hugged me tight for several min. He was upset. This was the 1st time he ever hugged and  held me. A Major Breakthrough for him.***********
  Autistic children do not like to be hugged at all or show affection and in his case a need for someone to help him with his pain,~~I have been trying to get him to hug me since he was toddler. when he got older it just made him mad.
  I cried again this time for joy~I was shocked that he hugged me!
He tried to tell them he didn’t want to go to school today because then is when she died and he wants to go to her grave. The told him he needed to come and wait until after school. Last night he wouldn’t talk to no one. so I sat with him in the garage and listen to him play his keyboard and guitar for a long while. He  was so angry and upset all night I just let him stay home that day even though the school wanted him stay there.  they dept telling me its for best~  The school asked/told him we will be seeing you tommorrow, He told them No That the day my nana died~
  The way his mind works he is just now feeling all that sadness and pain that he should have felt two years ago.  Kids with Aspergers sydrome ( High functiong Autism) seem normal, they look normal so a lot of people dont understand it; It is one of the worst disorder he has besides the ADHD, OCD, and Bipolar.  It is so complex.
One thing though he is so gifted in music and that is his outlet,
 
What triggered it:
On Mon~Sean was in the yard waiting a couple friends to come over. A neighborhood dog that roams around Especially in our yard cause the kids feed it, play with and etc. We seen him get hit real hard buy a big SUV. You couldn’t see any blood. but you could tell he was dying. We tried to get help ~called animal control but it was a holiday. The dog was suffering a cop came and said "the only thing we could do was",,,,,,,,Shoot him and put him out of his misery. I t told kids to go back in out yard. As the cop and I were discussing it, the dog slowly quit breathing. It looked like it fell asleep, he was dead just like how my mom died... ***Note: sean actually witnessed death for the first time, and what death really means. He finally understood what a death is for the first time I believe.
  Now that sept is over I think he going to be fine, Me too~ see Im bi-polar too~
Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Monday September 28, 2009, 10:57 pm
Tags: death kids and into aspergers Handles aspie [add/edit tags]

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michele m.
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female, age 39, married, 2 children
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