· Notice any tensions in the body and let go of them as best you can.

· Begin to notice the area around the heart center - the place where you experience emotions such as sadness, tenderness, and love - and accept, as best you can, whatever emotions you find there.

· Then mindfully repeat a phrase, such as "May I be well," or "May I feel safe," or "May I find peace." Repeat this phrase for at lest 5 to 10 minutes.

· Then let the phrase fade way into silence and just sit quietly for a minute or two until you feel ready to move.

In time you can add to this practice by calling to mind someone who has hurt you in the past, and by directing phrases towards them. You can say things such as, "May you be well," "May you find peace," or "May you be free from suffering." Cultivating an attitude of lovingkindness in this way can enable us to let go of our hurt and to cultivate forgiveness.

Sometimes, however, there can be so much anger towards another person that it's hard to imagine wishing them well, or if we try to do so we find that the mind spins out of control into hurt or anger. In these circumstances we
may have to deepen our self-empathy and self-compassion before we can start to forgive the other person. I've found that a highly effective way to do
this is as follows:

· As before, sit quietly in a posture that's comfortable and dignified, and relax the body as best you can.

· Call to mind the situation that's leading to you experiencing pain.

· Ask yourself what's the worst thing about this situation. What is it you most fear will happen? Or what do you most fear you'll lose?

· Anger or fear may be present. Just notice and accept these emotions, realizing that they're transient and are not ultimately a part of you.

· Notice that underneath the anger or fear you're experiencing pain, and notice where in the body this pain is experienced. Often the pain will be focused in the heart or solar plexus, but it may be somewhere else.

· Realizing that your pain is neither good nor bad, but it simply is a part of you that's hurting, wish your pain well. You can use a phrase such as,"May you be well," "May you be happy," or "May you find peace."

· One you've repeated the phrase for 5 to 10 minutes, just sit quietly until you feel ready to move once again.