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Jul 20, 2006

Do you remember the way I used to laugh,


at your silly faces,
inconspicuos jokes,
and the oddities of life,


Do you know why,


I noticed the small things,
flowers on a trail next to the worn wall of a house,
how a butterfly gently brushed against your leg,
the dimple in your skin above your lips when you talked,
or the way the moonlight hit the water.


Do you remember,
late night meals at four in the morning,
jiffy pop and annoying sticky food,
tap water Kool Aid,


Walks around the lake,
dreaming that was our house and what we would do if it were,
that smelly gasoline bridge, water lillies,


the waterfall drenching me while you laughed,
taking shelter in the playground during that crazy thunderstorm,
telling me to kiss you in the rain on the way to our apt,


remember how you said you would always love me?
even I thought it could be true, possible,
even I thought I could love you more,
and I did
yet even I...can be wrong


and I was..


wrong,


and I


I was stupid,


but I have always been wise,
and I will remain strong.


I can remember what I gave,
I can remember what you took,
I can remember all these good things we were fortunate to share,


but I won't remember how it felt when I held you,
or caressed your face,
how it felt when I ran my soft hands through your hair,


I won't remember what it meant when I whispered "I love you"
in your ear while you slept,


I won't remember how you looked at me when we lay in bed,
staring at each other in the twilight of the morning,


I won't remember missed kisses in the dark,
or when you read to me till I fell asleep,


I won't remember, because I won't let you hurt me anymore.


this is what I will record of our love,
this is all I know how to do.


I know,


it was my choice to end it,
it was my fault it happened,
because I - EXIST.


I can live with my decision.


I couldn't live with the fact that you were draining me of all my love,
all my beauty, anything that was good and right in me,


couldn't live with you possessing me while you lied to my face,
you took my soul, my spirit and blew it out of your hands like shredded pieces of paper,
scattered to the air as if it meant nothing.


I chose not too be your shleter anymore,
there is no room left in the scarred chambers of my heart.


I can't get back what you stole from me,


in fact...


I can't even cry anymore.


~ you shattered me like glass 


I should have known~


there was always broken glass.

Christina Brown

Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Thursday July 20, 2006, 12:07 pm
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Christina X.
female , single, 3 children
Minneapolis, MN, USA
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