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Nov 28, 2005

Noah`s Ark
Noah's Ark


Thought you might like this one


In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in England,
and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated and I
see the end of all flesh before me.

Build another Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good
humans."



He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build the Ark
before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights".

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard....
but no ark.

"Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed.

- I needed a building permit.

- I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler
system.

- My neighbours claim that I've violated the neighbourhood zoning laws by
building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.

- We had to go to Appeal for a decision.

- Then the electricity companies demanded a bond be posted for the future
costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
passage for the Ark's move to the sea.

- I argued that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing
of it.

Getting the wood was another problem.

- There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the spotted owl.

I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the
owls. But no go!

When I started gathering the animals, I got sued by an animal rights group.

They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.

As well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel
and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an
environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.

Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark building experience.

To make matters worse, the Tax Office seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to finish
this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, You're not going to destroy
the world?".

"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."
Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Monday November 28, 2005, 9:21 pm
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Past Member (0)
Monday November 28, 2005, 9:45 pm
Now this is hilarious! I've tagged this so the members of the Evolution Education group may read it. I hope you don't mind that!
Dale Husband

Author

Tracy West
female, age 50, married, 2 children
Forney, TX, USA
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