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May 17, 2010

im feeling so empty. so lost. so alone. inside im screaming. but i just lay here. there is so much i want to do. so much to accomplish. lives to change. i need to find myself. i have the music blaring to block out the steady vibration of voices downstairs speaking my fate. i want to disapear. fall apart to pieces. blow away in the wind. i want every last particle of myself to burn away in the sun. my ashes could float in the ocean before sinking beneath the wet blanekt of blue. lost in the deepest corners of the earth. im so hollow i feel like by body is going to cave in on itself. crying does nothing. i try every day. every day. but the more i walk forward the more im pushed beneath. its like the world is crushing down apon me, wishing to crumble my bones to dirt. sleep is my escape. but livivng i cant sleep forever. i miss my dreams and hopes of a beautiful tomorrow. i feel like i was just holding it in. holding back the waves in hopes of tomorrow to save me. tomorrow was always too far away. any dream to hold on to. any inkling of hope. once its here and nothing ever changes then the flood comes. all that i was holding back comeing pouring through. it was slowly seeping through my skin all along but now its exploding out. i want to dissapear. more now then ever before. and i dont even have a concreate why.
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Posted: Monday May 17, 2010, 5:21 pm
Tags: sad lost empty deppressed [add/edit tags]

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Becca Nyce
female, age 22, committed relationship
Downingtown, PA, USA
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