Butterfly Rewards - earn free credits and redeem for good causes - learn more!
my care2
make a difference

community & fun

shares

share your passions, stories, inspirations, and more

phew-and they FLY?
Nov 3, 2006

Just in case you need a laugh:
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.  Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.  The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.  Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.  Here are some actual maintenance complaints subm itted by Qantas ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
 
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
 
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
 
P: IFF ino perative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last..................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding  on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Rule 62
Never Take yourself to serious
Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Friday November 3, 2006, 11:23 am
Tags: humor [add/edit tags]

Group Discussions start a discussion
Comments
Or, log in with your
Facebook account:
Compose your comment and submit:

Author

Valerie l lurie
Author Tools:
Compose New Share
female, age 56, single, 2 children
Tilton, NH, USA
VALERIE'S SHARES
Nov
3
(0 comments  |  discussions )
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn'...


ads keep care2 free
SHARES FROM VALERIE'S NETWORK
Nov
22
by HM S.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
WASHINGTON -- Sen. Edward M. Kennedy will be a tough act to follow, even for the Kennedys. His death, coupled with the decision by family members not to seek the seat he held for nearly five decades, has prompted predictions that the family's long-run...
by HM S.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- Rep. Patrick Kennedy says Roman Catholic Bishop Thomas Tobin has barred him from receiving communion because of his support of abortion rights.
by HM S.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- Rep. Patrick Kennedy says Roman Catholic Bishop Thomas Tobin has barred him from receiving communion because of his support of abortion rights.
by HM S.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
WASHINGTON -- A bruising debate on health care awaits the Senate after Thanksgiving now that the historic legislation has cleared a key hurdle over the opposition of Republicans eager to inflict a punishing defeat on President Barack Obama.
by HM S.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
WASHINGTON -- A bruising debate on health care awaits the Senate after Thanksgiving now that the historic legislation has cleared a key hurdle over the opposition of Republicans eager to inflict a punishing defeat on President Barack Obama.


ads keep care2 free
MORE MESSAGE
Nov 22
Message: Send a card............ by Hazel N.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) —     & nbsp;    I thought this was a great  idea..     & nbsp;   I hope you do too...................... .............     & nbsp;   &n bsp; &nb... more
Nov 21
Message: Animal Rescue Site - It's Free!! by Harold S.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) —  "Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened."     Hi, all you animal lovers! This is pretty  simple... Please ask ten friends to each ask a further ten today! The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble... more
Message: daily Bible verse by Ingrid F.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) — The Lord says,I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.Psalm 32:8 more
Message: Animal Abuse by Sandy a.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) — Pictures like this encourage animal abuse.Please join with me and refuse to post pictures that are questionable as to how the animal came to be in such a position. Also leave comments stating your distaste for such images. Contact website owners, etc.... more
Message: prayer request by ze j.
(0 comments  |  0 discussions ) — My niece Anne has been with her husband 7 years. They have tried to have children & have had numerous problems. Recently Anne found out she was pregnant. She had her hopes all up & early this week was told she had lost the baby. She was upset,... more
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.
Copyright © 2009 Care2.com, inc. and its licensors. All rights reserved