START A PETITION 25,136,189 members: the world's largest community for good
START A PETITION
x
Oct 29, 2010

Dear Reader, because at the English language there is a difference between she and he, for the purpose of writing this thing, I will use 'he' as the abuser, and 'she' as the victim. That doesn't mean that the 'he' is always the abuser, and 'she' is always the victim. The suggested law supposes that both women/men can be a victim or abuser.
                                                            

What is domestic economic abuse between spouses?

First, we have to know, that the phenomenon of the domestic economic abuse, in its short form called: DEA, between spouses is a real act of violence, and it has all the characteristics of violence.

A husband who abuses his wife by DEA, he does it from the beginning of the marriage. He takes control on every mutual asset including all economic resources of his spouse. The total economic authority of the family concentrates only in his hand. He becomes the ruler and his wife the victim. The ruler blocks every access to all mutual assets including all economic resource of his wife, the victim.

In that way, the ruler denies from the victim to exercise her economic ability, freedom of action, freedom of movement and the basic right to live her life respectfully. According to the basic law of personal freedom she would have been entitled to live a respectull life.

DEA, has several stages. During most stages of the DEA the ruler's spouse lives under the false impression that her mate enables her equal usage of the mutual asset, including her personal income. The misinterpretation results from the fact that the ruler by different manipulations brings his wife to a situation where she needs to ask him for all of her personal and family expenses. He gives her a given sum that he thinks that she needs. 

Ruling the family assets by the husband alone, takes place during all the marriage.

Dear Reader, please allow me to emphesize that there is a difference between the type of DEA that victims go trhough at the rich families and at the poor families.

According what I found by interviwing hundreds of vitims, both at the rich and poor families, DEA contains three stages. At the beginning we can find the "Stage of the outrageous thrift, [savings]". Then comes the "Stage of extreme stinginess" then finally arrives the stage of "Stage of economic terror".

It is important to notice that at the rich families at the final stage, at the "Stage of Economic Terror" there is a great possibility that the abuser will take out a huge loan at the moment that the abuser feels  that his victim found out that she is going through DEA. At that case  the victim has to stop working. The reason for that is, according what I found, that the abuser every minute can 'put on his victim' a 'huge loan' that he himself gets out, without the knowledge of his spouse. So in order to help those women who are suffering just from DEA we need also detectives who are expert on finding places where the money went and lawyers who are expert to get back the money that belong to the family and thus to the wife also. The detectives and the lawyers have to have licence to work in many countries in the world. And we do not have money to hire these people. 

Dear Reader allow me to go back to the stages of DEA.

During the first two stages of DEA the victim has no idea that she is being a victim.

At the first stage of DEA at stage of "The outrageous thrift, [savings]", the husband fulfils a rather large part of the financial requests of his partner. 

At the second stage of DEA, at stage of "extreme stinginess", the husband starts to fulfill a much smaller part of the financial requests of the woman, as he did in the previous stage. 

The spouse’s financial requests are rarely fulfilled by her husband at the third stage, at stage, which is the "economic terror", that is a real chronic stage.  Living under terrible economic condition, living a life style of a ‘homeless’ person, the spouse starts to suspect, that something is really wrong. By starting to check the bank accounts she learns that she has nothing. She learns that all the assets, savings and investments of her and her family vanished. They all vanished, supposedly into her husband ‘individual personal bank account’,  that recides all over the world.  At this point she realizes that she has no economic authority in the family.

We are persons who are going through only DEA. And we are those persons who are from the high middle and from the high income families'. I am aware that that very few people believe us. We already succeeded to get help for the women from the low income families.

Just as it was the situation 200 years ago, with the women’s assets. At that time, the women had no rights to any economical assets. The economical assets belonged to the father or the brother or to the husband. At the 21st century, millions of women all over the world live under the circumstances that similar to the circumstances that their sisters lived 200 years ago. 


At the stage of economic terror, the husband changes his behavior toward to his wife. From a caring, supporting, sympathetic, man he becomes an uncompassionate, merciless enemy.  The wife capitulates to this terrible situation because she finally understands the situation she lives.

At this point it is important to point out again the following thing:

At our goup page that resides at:

http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/domesticeconomicabuse

you kind reader can see that we write at the introduction section:

"We already succeeded to get help for the women from the low income families."

What the previous sentence means is that those persons who are come from a low income family and abused just by DEA, as the results of the activity of our organization "Maka Mezalzelet" from the year of 2008 they already get monthly help from appropriate organizations.

That meains that at the stage of economic terror, when the husband changes his behavior toward to his wife, and from a caring, supporting, sympathetic, man he becomes an uncompassionate, merciless enemy, women from the low income families from the year 2008 get monthly help from appropriate organizations.

Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Friday October 29, 2010, 4:52 pm
Tags: [add/edit tags]

Group Discussions
Comments
Or, log in with your
Facebook account:

Past Member (0)
Monday December 13, 2010, 12:58 pm
I had no idea that there was even a label for what happened in my life with a husband. And you are so incredibly accurate about how he became a merciless enemy once he saw that I was aware. You've invited me to join your group and once I've stopped feeling so flabbergasted I shall do that. :)

Tusa Alexis Angel (15)
Thursday December 30, 2010, 3:04 pm
i have read your article and acknowledge your concerns, while i do agree that this is a form of intimidation from the controling party involved and could be veiwed as a trap either by intent or fear of loss by the controling party, however i believe that your focus is in principle wrong. you seek your freedom from the controling party for both yourself and the children involved. but you also seek financial security for both. the answer is simple but a hard one to choose. if it is freedom from the controling party pack your bags and your children and leave, now here is the hard part, starting again from scratch. no money, no roof over your head, and maybe even no friends. but here is the good news-Trust in Jesus-i imagine how Mary must have felt long after the angel of the Lord told of her impending birth, the townsfolk gossiping, no visible form of support for her or her unborn child, the same thing when they went to bethlehem on a donkey, heavilly ladden with her child, no room at the inn, gave birth in a stable. what got her through trusting in the Lord, and wow he did not disappoint did he. so if i where the angel sent to Mary- i would say to you again "do not be afraid" the Lord is with you. hmmm, like i said, the choice is simple, trust in God and walk away from the trap, it will be one of the hardest decisions you will make, but the life and the freedom you will gain for you and your children will far outway the burden of your monetary delema. One day at a time, that should be your focus until you learn to fly again and be free. Seeya:)

Koty Lapid (1013)
Thursday December 30, 2010, 11:37 pm
patrick h., please read http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/domesticeconomicabuse Please don't forget, currently we are talking about 'victims from the high middle and from the high income families'. So, I think, you can imagine that very few people believe this. We already succeeded to get help for the women from the low income families. One more thing, at the moment a woman finds out that she is going through domestic economic abuse, she has to stop working. Because it turns out, that the husband every minute can 'put on her' a 'huge loan' that he himself gets out, without the knowledge of his spouse.These women need financial and emotional help.With this group we hope to raise awareness,funds and find help for them.This is not the type of group that I usually do,but reading about this has touched a part of me and I feel as though I am being 'called' do this. [The words above refer to both women and men victims of domestic economic violence.] [Dianne Lynn]

Linda R. (2)
Tuesday July 26, 2011, 9:29 pm
Wow, complicated, but extremely believable sadly. I have been in almost that situation, but because of the verbal and physical abuse added to it I was able to leave and divorce him while working and living with my parents, Thank God! What you are doing seems extremely important. Keep up the great work!

Koty Lapid (1013)
Thursday July 28, 2011, 3:33 am
Hi Linda, thank you so much for your comment. Take care, Koty

Past Member (0)
Monday November 14, 2011, 1:28 am
I don't understand why husbands does those awful things, to their wives, it's sad married life is suppose to be a wonderful thing if you got a good man i say it's a gift but when your trapped in a relationship that abuse you then you feel trapped married life isn't suppose to be this way but people made it that way and it's a sick thing for the wife and the children also, we all have to stick together to come together and fight this.

Koty Lapid (1013)
Tuesday November 15, 2011, 1:30 am
Sara, first, thank you for your comment. Second, please tell about our group and about this page to anybody that you trust to talk about DEA.

Past Member (0)
Friday November 25, 2011, 6:36 am
Such important work, Koty, and you are such a good example for people in all nations to follow! Thanks for including Care2 among those to whom you speak!

Koty Lapid (1013)
Friday November 25, 2011, 7:26 am
Janet, allow me to thank you for your comment. Janet, allow me also to tell you, as I say to others at Care2, please tell about our group and about this page to anybody that you trust to talk about DEA.

Author

Koty Lapid
female, age 114, married, 2 children
Tel Aviv, Israel
KOTY'S SHARES
Oct
29
(8 comments  |  discussions )
Dear Reader, because at the English language there is a difference between she and he, for the purpose of writing this thing, I will use 'he' as the abuser, and 'she' as the victim. That doesn't mean that the 'he' is always the abuser, and 'she' i...
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Dear Reader, because at the English language there is a difference between she and he, for the purpose of writing this thing, I will use 'he' as the abuser, and 'she' as the victim. That doesn't mean that the 'he' is always the abuser, and 'she' i...
Oct
22
(3 comments  |  discussions )
In order to understand what I am going to write, first you need to understand one of the ways Google gets money for its work.One of the ways, Google gets money for its work is selling things that Google finds on the web. Yes, it is totally legal for ...


SHARES FROM KOTY'S NETWORK
Mar
31
(1 comments  |  discussions )
ZEN was suspended by Eric with no warning. We don't know any reasons nor how long it will last.... I asked about it on the forum but my post was immediately deleted. 2 threads and petitions about Zen also. And 2 her help-groups. :-( Untill today no...
Feb
18
(0 comments  |  discussions )
Hello my C2 Family, First let me say Thank You to those of you who have so sweetly fwd my posts. You are SO AWESOME!! I will never forget your help. Anytime I can repay the favour, please tell me. Second, my Submit button has disappeared leaving ...
Feb
15
(0 comments  |  discussions )
This is Venus Marquez's friend, Gina Arellano. Venus is a friend of my daughter Nikka.  She seems to be covered in rashes/sores due to possibly chickenpox and needs to raise at least 200 Euros - about $275 US - to cover medical expenses. If you...
Feb
13
(0 comments  |  discussions )
In a meeting of the EU General Affairs Council nineteen states opposed the approval of  GM Maize Pioneer 1507, developed jointly by DuPont and Dow Chemica l, while five supported it and four abstained from any view, EU officials sa...
Feb
12
by Just C.
(0 comments  |  discussions )
  Why this is important As a community comprised of members actively using the tools provided by this site to accomplish needed improvements to various aspects of all life (animal, human, environmental), we, the undersigned, are hereby peti...


MORE MESSAGE
Mar 31
Message: what's going on?... by Apolonia P.
(1 comments  |  discussions ) — ZEN was suspended by Eric with no warning. We don't know any reasons nor how long it will last.... I asked about it on the forum but my post was immediately deleted. 2 threads and petitions about Zen also. And 2 her help-groups. :-( Untill today no... more
Feb 17
Message: Petitions that stop abuse to the speechless by Aza C.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) — Can someone please tell me why petitions that want to end animal abuse,end the on going pain being inflected on the poor helpless animals. Paim that only ends when the animal dies. Is it that the 23 plus million members don't care or understand that... more
Message: Thanks by Gail B.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) — Thank you all for the warm welcome, still learn how to use the site. May the grounds you set your feet upon be blessed every step of the way. more
Feb 15
Message: My Daughter's Friend Needs Help by Cameron F.
(0 comments  |  discussions ) — This is Venus Marquez's friend, Gina Arellano. Venus is a friend of my daughter Nikka.  She seems to be covered in rashes/sores due to possibly chickenpox and needs to raise at least 200 Euros - about $275 US - to cover medical expenses. If you... more
Feb 13
Message: Free Puppy Ads In Terrifying Abundance! by Karen O.
(0 comments  |  0 discussions ) — I was so upset, when on my homepage, in the news section...there appearred, all sorts of advertisements all over, for free puppies...these are surely going to reappear in the future,  as horrific abuse cases.  What is wrong with people? Do t... more
 
Content and comments expressed here are the opinions of Care2 users and not necessarily that of Care2.com or its affiliates.