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To My WIfe
Jan 6, 2006

Name:Becky Ayers
Type:Tribute (for the living)
To Honor:Individual(s)
Location:, United States
Becky Sundholm Ayers has done more than most women would have when faced with the difficult task of holding together a marriage in the face of combat related PTSD.
When I came home from Beirut I didnt feel any different but I was, she saw it right away. Becky never treated me differently, she cried with me, she yelled with me and she loved with me. For 22 years she has had to wake up to a stranger in her bed because the mand she married and the one I liked the best was left in Beirut.
She has worked outside the home, inside the home, raised 4 children and now helps raise two grandchildren. She sees the PTSD in the children as well but her love never waivers. For years she put up with my drinking, my mood swings, my inability to hold down a job and the worst was my inability to show love. I love this woman more than life itself but I find it hard to show. I am locked down tight inside, I feel if I let love out anger may follow it and that is the one I fear the most.
I wish I could have given her a better life, the one she deserved but all I can do now is right this for her. I want everyone to know that my wife is so very special and I do love her.
In closing I have to say, Becky you made the first 3 years fun and kept me alive for the last 22 and for that I owe you my very soul.
Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Friday January 6, 2006, 9:45 pm
Tags: team mother dog water rain bad wilderness [add/edit tags]

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Christina Barber (21) 		Saturday January 7, 2006, 12:48 pm
Beautiful tribute! I hope the best for both of you for many years to come!
Bright Blessings :-)

Michael Dickerson Deluno (275) 		Saturday January 7, 2006, 2:07 pm
The biggest gift and honor you could give her would be to get therapy and heal. A better life is possible.

Becky Ayers (51) 		Sunday January 8, 2006, 6:05 am
Babe, that was the sweetest thing ever and I love you. I love you for always supporting anything I do, I love you for being a loving but stearn father, I love you for all the wonderful ideas you have had through our life, whether we actually made them happen or not. I love you for teaching me things that I didn't understand. I love you for understanding my emotional swings that stem from my mothers inability to love me. I love you for understanding my tempers flares that also stem from my pent up anger towards my mother.
Babe, you are and always will be the love of my life. Nothing could change that, EVER. I don't care if you're different. I will always love you and be there for you. You are my life and someday in the future when we both pass on, we will finally be free to do as we always talked about. To be together in peace as we explore the universe together. I admire the strength that you don't even see in yourself. You ARE alot stronger than you think babe. If you weren't, I wouldn't refer to you as my "Rock". We will make it through this hell that we call life, I promise you that.

Semira Weiss (22) 		Friday January 13, 2006, 12:15 am
awww, brings tears to the eye! So beautiful, thank you for having the courage to write such a beautiful testimonial and becky for being such a loving, caring woman!

Joseph L. (109) 		Sunday February 12, 2006, 12:35 pm
God Bless you Steve that is a fine tribute to your wife. I know how you felt when you came home and how you fel now I shared the same feelings when I returned from Korea in 1952 during the conflict.I am 70 years old and still have some bad momnents Just stick with it buddy and you will Win in rthe end...Joe

Meghal Vasa (59) 		Thursday March 30, 2006, 9:47 pm
The tribute to your wife was very touching & its strange how some of us fail to express our love & gratitude & i console with such souls including myself. I appreciate your feelings & convey my good wishes.
PS What is PTSD ?

Meghal Vasa (59) 		Thursday March 30, 2006, 9:53 pm
The tribute to your wife was very touching & its strange how some of us fail to express our love & gratitude & i console with such souls including myself. I appreciate your feelings & convey my good wishes.
PS What is PTSD ?

Maria P. (39) 		Saturday July 15, 2006, 11:59 am
This was a lovely story and brought tears to my eyes. Becky you seem to have a wonderful hubby right there and I hope he is getting back to himself.
I am sure Beirut and other war areas have affected all the military men and women and also there families. My heart and my prayers go out to you and your family GOOD LUCK and to the US AND UK Military servicemen and Women

That was very very sweet of you to do this for your wife
God Bless

Mrs O. (12) 		Tuesday July 25, 2006, 11:10 am
This is such a touching tribute that gives hope to us all. 25 years in and of itself shows that you have truely found your soul mate. May you all have many more years together. It's obvious the love that you two have for eachother, thanks for sharing this with others. Bless you both.

Susie H. (258) 		Thursday August 3, 2006, 8:10 am
Brought tears to mt eyes. and congratulations for having the courage to tell Becky how you feel about her.
Love & Lihgt

Glenn Hilliker (5) 		Wednesday February 7, 2007, 1:08 pm
Steve, God bless you and especially Becky. Few women will try to understand us veterans and our combat PTSD, much less stay with us and work with us to overcome that part of our past trying to make us whole like we were before. Steve you have made a very big step by writing this you now need to build on this and slowly stop the drinking, seek medical help for the mood swings, and if you have not done so file with the VA for pension/compensation for being unemployable.
Been there doing that and it is not easy. God's love to you my brother, and Becky as the Angel she is.

Carol R. (6) 		Wednesday April 25, 2007, 6:05 pm
This is an absolutely beautiful tribute. My husband has been suffering from depression for 12 years, and I've been with him for 6 of that. It began when he was serving as a Scout in the Army. I know he feels the same as you do in many ways. He feels such anger about his depression and the fact he couldn't stay in the Army. He wanted to be a career soldier, and he was devastated when he had to leave. He can't feel his love for me, but he knows he does love me. He has trouble showing these feelings, but I know he loves me. I'm ok with that, because I know he can't help how his condition affects him. He has been in therapy for years. He's been on practically every anti-depressant known to man. He has been deemed as treatment-resistant. That's so depressing in itself. Well, didn't mean to go on about us. Just wanted to say Great job with this tribute.

Dennis Akpan (39) 		Tuesday January 29, 2008, 9:56 am
wow that move tears down,She was a good woman am sure of that,can we feed the homeless and hanicapped Animals in memory of her??? send you need to get across to us.

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Steve Ayers
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male , married, 4 children
, MI, USA
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