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This Man
Jan 8, 2006

Name:Steven Douglas Ayers
Type:Tribute (for the living)
To Honor:Individual(s)
Location:, United States
                                                         This Man


This man was once a young boy with dreams.
This man grew up and joined the Navy.
This man fought for our country.
This man went to Beirut on a peacekeeping mission.
This man saw things that most couldn't handle.
This man came back someone different.
This man buried his tears.
This man now has a fear of death.
This man hurts for his fallen brothers.
This man dreams of atonement.
This man has lost his zest for life.
This man has been stamped crazy by the VA.
This man needs understanding.
This man needs to be heard.
This man is my husband.
This man is my love.
This man is my life.

This man, this one man is just one in vast sea of men and women who have served their country and are now paying the ultimate price of living out the remainder of their lives as someone they were not meant to be. Who knows what they COULD have been. Who knows what their lives would have been like. What they may have accomplished.

This was written in honor of my husband and the many people who have served in the military to give us the freedom we have. THEY did it, not the rest of us. THEY made the ultimate sacrifice so OUR lives could be normal. And now THEIR lives aren't. They walk the earth wondering what could have been. If they hadn't served, would they be walking the earth with smiles and hopes and dreams? Would they be living lives where the family is sturdy and full of laughter? Would they still be married to the people that they were when they left?

These are the things that we all take for granted. We assume that our servicemen can "take it". That they will persevere. It's not that cut and dried folks. These people come back to live lives of nightly hauntings of the images they saw.

I commend all of our troops and I commend most of all my husband for whom I have watched go through this hell for 22 years.

I can imagine our life being alot different than it is now, but it doesn't matter to me. All that matters is that he KNOWS that people care. That we don't take him and countless others for granted. They were all once normal people like us with dreams, aspirations and hopes. Now it's up to all of us civilians to help them all feel comfortable in knowing that what they did for us was nothing less than courageous.
Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Sunday January 8, 2006, 7:04 am
Tags: war military air army marine navy force support government humanity troops lebanon beirut [add/edit tags]

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Mark Dohle (8) 		Sunday January 8, 2006, 7:29 am
Wow, a very powerfull and heartfilled post. One of my bothers was in viet nam, and he to has paid a heavy price. Also my niece just 22 years old, was with the medical unit in Iraq, and she two is not having troubles because of all the suffering she has seen. She has talked about suicide, though she says her strong faith will not allow for that out.

Jesus Wept.

Peace
Mark

Road LessTraveled (3205) 		Sunday January 8, 2006, 8:04 am
I would be honored if you would share this post on the Peace Think Tank below.

Join us and make a difference!

Eric S.

Peace Think Tank
http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/peacethinktank

Petition Center
http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/Petitions

A Better Future World
http://www.care2.com/c2c/group/abfw

Steve Ayers (17) 		Monday January 9, 2006, 10:56 am
I was only doing my job, you were the one who suffered because I chose to go into the beach to remove the dead. I have had to face the reality that if I had not gone to the beach tat day we would have a normal life.
I have dedicated everything I write for you, the true hero and all of the other families who are heroes as well.

Sunny M. (11) 		Wednesday January 11, 2006, 5:21 pm
I am from the UK and both my dad and 2 brothers served in the navy - just wanted to add that I DO care - thanks for the reminder. To Steven - you WERE doing your job - but how many other folks would do it?

Gordon M. (25) 		Thursday January 12, 2006, 1:23 pm
Wow! Tear jerker. I can say thank you, but that is not enough. Crazy?? Hmm, crazy is doing the same thing each day and expecting a different result. I would never trust the Government to judge my sanity.. Oh boy..Steven, and all of who who serve and have served. thank you.... G

Sherri P. (7) 		Friday January 13, 2006, 6:40 am
Thank-You Steven! God Bless you and your family.

Past Member (0) 		Saturday January 14, 2006, 1:11 pm
Thank you Steven for sharing your stories with us. I have the chance to see the war and I understand what you mean. Many people I know have scares from war. You are needed and you counts. Be safe.

Brenda P. (164) 		Sunday January 15, 2006, 5:02 pm
Becky
this man,your husband,is a very lucky man to have a very loving,caring,and giving person like you.
God Bless you both!
brenda p




god

Finbar Mariner (6) 		Tuesday January 24, 2006, 9:48 pm
A very humbling statement and a reminder that we are all maybe just a step away from something that could adveresely alter our lives forever.

Deb Z. (12) 		Wednesday February 22, 2006, 7:43 pm
I also remember Viet Nam. My brother and many friends were there and when they came back they were changed forever. I didn't understand my brother who was only 18 when he was stationed in Viet Nam. It wasn't until I had a son and realized that he is a sensitive young man and the effects of war would destroy the world he knows. My heart goes out to your husband and to you. I appreciate your husband's courage and I wish you both Peace and Love.

Deb Z.

Pixan Pax (2) 		Monday April 3, 2006, 4:45 am
wow speechless and a shiver comes through my body

meekhan whitaker (4) 		Wednesday May 10, 2006, 11:19 pm
Thank you! I know they are just words but that is the closest I can come in words to say how I feel. My father and his brothers were in Viet Nam, brother and sister went to Desert Storm. My brother went back over there this time too along with my uncle. I tell them how I feel. But I think you should know too.

Patricia H. (0) 		Saturday September 9, 2006, 10:49 pm
Steven, I am new in this Web Site, so I just read this beautiful Tribute from your wife Becky, to you. My name is Pat, I am from Wisconsin. Wow, Becky sure does love you, and it seems so do lots of others. I want to say to you, you served your country with honor, you were part of protecting our welfare and freedom. But, I know that dosen't take away your pain, guilt, and nightmares. I will tell you this Steven, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!! You are in shock from experiencing a war that was horrendous. And you saw a lot of Ugly things, and probably had to do some ugly things. But, Steven, whatever you saw, did, or heard there, was an act of war. AN ACT OF WAR, STEVEN. God knows this, and God loves you no matter what, and God forgives you. He forgave you from day one. I wish I could find the magic words to help you find peace of mind and heart, but, I do wish you this, for you to come back into the world, live it , love it, enjoy it. You deserve it. You are loved so much by your wife and your children, and they want you in the world, in their lives and in their joy . Go there Steven, put the past behind you, find peace with it, and go there and be with you wife and children.
God's Blessings be with you always,
Pat Holst

John Smith (76) 		Sunday December 24, 2006, 4:26 pm
Welcome Home Brother,
I, too, am a survivor. My war was long ago in a place called Vietnam. I was a medic in the 502nd Inf., 101st Airborne Div. in 1965-1966.
I was wounded several times on Feb. 2nd, 1966 in Tuy Hoa and forty years later I am still affected by the war. I will never get over it.
I, too, have been branded by the VA and I lost most of my life...certainly, all of my dreams.
I've had so many jobs that I can't even recall them all. Been married 3 times and divorced 3 times, have lived in most of the lower forty-eight, spent time in the slammer and have spent enough on lawyers fees I could have put my kids through college.
Would I like to have my life back? Yes. Would I run and hide from my duty? No. Do I have flashbacks and nightsweats? Yes. Have I tried suicide? Yes. Will I again? Who knows.
I did what I had to do. Just as you did and I honor you and respect you for it. I wish I could help you carry your pain but, I can't..only God can. Be strong, however, and know you're not alone.

Walk In Peace,
John Eagle (doc) Smith

Brenda Stephenson (0) 		Friday December 12, 2008, 11:15 am
My heart goes out to you and your family, My best friend also served our country only he was in Vietnam. He came back a completely different and his wife deserted him because it was to much for her to handle.Your right we all assume that our troops can handle it! And they can and they do a great job, but when its over, Thats when thier war begins. I commend you on your love a devotion to your husband, God bless you both

Author

Becky Ayers
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female, age 50, married, 4 children
Sault S Marie, MI, USA
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