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May 7, 2011

Type:Tribute (for the living)
To Honor:Individual(s)
Location:, United States

I would like to warn everyone that this blog may contain "TMI" for some people. Happy Mother's day to all!

First off, I'd like to wish every mother here a very happy mother's day. No matter if you have 1 child, or 5, babies or you're a seasoned grandma. Happy mother's day to everyone.

I also want to pay tribute to mothers passed. Growing up, we always figure that Mother will always be here for us. While we realize that eventually, we will always lose her, too often we don't think about that until after she's gone...

My ex-mother in law was one of those that you can't just forget about. Sure, she's imperfect just like the rest of us. But her so individual quirks made her lovable. When I was first introduced to her and my ex father in law, they took me straight in as a daughter, not as an in law. I was very appreciative.

The first Christmas I was to spend with them, my mother in law at the time sent me out to get Kringles from O & H Bakery, because that was her favorite. Of course she wanted the usual, one pecan, one apple. I got the apple just fine, but they were out of the pecan, so I'd hunted high and low for the next best, with odd flavors like prune, I don't like cherry, etc... so I'd settled on a different flavor, I forgot which... I was worried she'd be upset, because I didn't get the pecan kringle. She flat out said, "Oh, I can't be mad at her, I love her!" Bless her heart... How could I not love her back?

Anyway, when my son was first learning how to talk, she'd call him "Honey". Somehow, even as a baby, he'd understood terms of endearment. He called her Honey right back. It was sweet. She'd wanted to hear him say grandma, since other grandchildren called her Nana or some other word for grandma. She became Grandma Honey, because my son insisted her name was Honey. So he made the connection, and decided on his own, that it's Grandpa Honey. For the longest time, he wanted to tell everyone that his grandparents' last name was Honey.

So, anyway, she'd raised 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls) and had 7 grandchildren (4 girls, 3 boys) before mine was born, so she was a world of advice when I had questions about the intricacies of motherhood and how to deal with certain boy issues.

Back in 2003, just days before my son's 3rd birthday, she died... Which was crazy, because I'd just talked to her just before noon, as I'd stopped in because I'd dropped off her prescription there. She was coherent, and upset because her youngest daughter had to be hauled into ER and was unconscious. After ensuring that all is well there, I went to go to my sister in law. Thankfully, all went well, she was fine. We checked in, and went about our merry way. Just before midnight the same day, exactly 12 hours later, we get a strange phone call from a police officer "Please call ASAP to your dad's house". I immediately call back, just to find out that she'd died... I was just dumbfounded. Anyway, even though I've been divorced from my ex for a couple of years now, I still miss "Grandma Honey", and still in good terms with "Grandpa Honey".

 

Just because she's gone does not mean she's any less of a mom, so in her memory as well as all moms who have passed, I'd like to look up to the Heavens and wish all of them a happy mother's day.

Back about 12-13 years ago, I was happily expecting my first child. I was elated, and felt like I was glowing. But I had serious problems regarding health. I had edema (water retention), preeclampsia (high blood pressure with spilling proteins) and the combination made me toxic, where I later found out that it was called toxemia. Anyway, my doctor just told me to watch the salt, eat more protein, get bed rest, and drink a lot of water. I did the best I could. I was never referred to a specialist. My mother went with me, and after an appointment, got mad at me stating I needed a specialist at Froedert, and when I point blank asked her what's wrong with me, she'd hastily stated "Nothing! I'm sorry for alarming you".

In the end, well, at about 30 weeks, I had started spotting, and it was alarming because of the other symptoms I was having. I was told it was just old blood, and not to worry about it since I had "no idea what a normal pregnancy" for me is, because this was my first one. Three and a half weeks later, my placenta ripped off my uterus, and ended the pregnancy. I spent about 22.5 hours in labor, and darn near bled to death myself. I am lucky to be alive, and my 11 year old makes me the luckiest mom on the planet.

I know some may wonder why I'm posting such personal info. My goal is that if anyone who may be reading is experiencing the same situation, or knows someone can push for the medical care needed, even if it means having your baby early for a happy ending. Or, even if it didn't end up happy, that there is strength and hope, and life after death.

 

While I never got to hear my first son cry, nor look into his eyes, he is my angel baby, and I am the proud mother of two boys, even if I'm raising only one. For all mothers who have lost their children, at what ever age... Happy mothers' day to you! You are no less a mother, you're the mother of an angel!

 

For the rest of us who are lucky enough to have our kids with us, even the distance of miles or right in our own homes or across town, happy mother's day.

 

For our children, please keep signing the federal April's Law Petition, to help curb sex predators from preying on our children on and offline. The Wisconsin version has rounded up the co-sponsors this last Friday, May 6, 2011. It will be moving to legislative introduction this up coming week, and with any luck, will pass. Thank you for your continued support!

 

Visibility: Everyone
Posted: Saturday May 7, 2011, 11:13 pm
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Lika S.
female, age 45, married, 2 children
Racine, WI, USA
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