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May 18, 2011

I must share my story with Care 2 as it is very important to me & hope it will help others who ever find themself in my same healthcare nightmare. I am mentally disabled as I have Bi-Polar disorder,ADD & a paranoid personallity disorder. I also have extreme panic disorder. To be clear on paranoid this does not mean I think people are out to get me & no I do not see things that are not there unless I become very manic. I am also physically ill with Arthritis,stess induced IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I am 38 years old and have been ill over half my life. Recently I had to be hospitalized & the story I am writing is all true. On April 14th I went for my appointment at The Mental Health Center I have been going to off & on since 1989. I was there to see my counciler Heather whom I loved to death. I was a bit manic that day due to sresses beyond my control. She called a Doctor into the room who is no longer my phyciatrist and she was writing commitment papers so fast & she would not listen to anything I said. Next thing I knew a armed security guard was at the door. I was seated and shook my head no in disbelif. He said to me you can go the easy way or the hard way. I got up trying to explain I could not take the stairs. I did not have a choice. He said to me I could just fall on him. I told him I would love to do that. I was faint after the flight & was not allowed to sit a moment as my legs were coming out from under me. I was placed inside a van with this same armed man & I am pretty hysterical. The driver drove so fast my head was smashed on the bar behind me and on the window beside me. I commented why were they driving like lunitics this was not an ambulance? I got ridculed. The took me to the state run hospital. I would not sign to be teated there as my mother died inside that hospital on my birthday 7/18/06. My family had no idea where I was and the police were contacted to no avail. My potassium was dangerusly low and I had to be placed on a heart monitor. I have nothing on but a gown that is not tied at the bottom. I was waitin on an ambulance to take me to Monroe I was told? The next morning after crying myself out I awoke inside the same room minus a heart monitor & wrapped at the crook of my arm where during the night they drew more blood. I had to use the bathroom very bad & I thought to myself I better get up in case they think I am dead in here. I am going to use my humor here now. I get up with my bottom out to go to the bathroom & I hear laughing. They think this is funny Ok. We'll see how funny I can make this. I use the bathroom drink some more potassium with this diet,cold brekfast they put on my tray. After I finished the male nurse said I had to clean my tray off. Did I know where the trash can was. How could I forget I had been sitting right next to it the day before. The back doors are open my bottom is showing and I need both hands to push the cart. I push it & everyone is laughing. Except me of course see because I am beyond angry! I am throwing my stuff in the trash & an Angel from behind me says..Ya'll can't do her like this. I turn & thank her as she tied me.  I had to put my tray back & two armed bounty hunter looking types were racing to get out the back, I accidentlly cut them off!(NOT) I said I am so sorry & I pushed past as they rushed out the back. I told them at the hospital that was no mistake BTW. Now I know you may be thinking well she needed help. I did indeed but see once you have been committed you may act as crazy as they think you are. When I get sick I do not loose my intellect,my sense of humor & I do not forget either! I have never been arrested but going into a phyciatric hospital is much like that. You better know how to take care of yourself or you can get hurt. I needed to be hositalized that is not the point off my story. My abulance came & they asked if I needed any help to get inside? Now I am 5 feet mothin & weighed 138  I said no & grabbed the bar and pounded my way inside,signed my name perfectly & off we went. This was not my first hospitalization but this hopspital was the largest. Housed about 26 men & women. I learned things their about Tracey as this hospital is a Behavior Health Unit where you see a medical doctor & a phyciatrist.  It was a hard 13 days but I leaned I have to be my own BFF & saying no is Okay. I also learned that I can not save the world Dang it! Jesus found me too as this was not the first time he has saved my life. I wrote this also because I learned that when you are stressed Read it, Write it, Sing it! No pity allowed as I am a blessed woman as I just found out I am going to be a Grandma! YEAH! I hope this helped even one person as it did me. I get a check on the 3rd of the month & I am on medicare,medicaid & a PDP thank the Lord or how would I get all me medicine? I make 727.00 am I not blessed?  You bet I am!
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Posted: Wednesday May 18, 2011, 8:11 am
Tags: health & wellnesshealthcarespirituallity [add/edit tags]

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Nancy Dodson (18)
Wednesday May 18, 2011, 7:17 pm
Tracey, I'm so very sorry that you have so many health problems but you handle them with humor and bravery. You are an inspiration to so many of your friends.

Stay well and think every day of that sweet little grandchild that God is sending to you. He or she will be a life changing event for you as grandkids are to all of us!

Keep the faith and stay as brave as you are!

Nancy Dodson

Alexandra Rodda (177)
Saturday May 28, 2011, 3:48 am
Dear Tracey,
congratulations o becoming a grandmother. I still remember the great joy I felt when my daughter had her first child, which was the first of six!
I've read through your hospitalization experience and am amazed that it was handled in such a way. You were not given any explanation of why you needed to go to hospital and you were not listened to. As you have arthritis, it must have been very painful to go up the stairs. There probably was a lift somewhere where they could have taken you.
Your family should have been informed straight away that a decision had been made to commit you and which hospital you would be sent to.
Do you have a mental health services consumer organization there? These matters should be addressed.
Regards and best wishes,
Alex (Alexandra Rodda)

melanie blow (475)
Saturday May 28, 2011, 2:30 pm
Yikes! My husband has bipolar disorder, (I don't think it's the type you have- with him, the depressive episodes are much worse than the manic ones), and I've had to have him put under mental hygiene arrest more times than I can think about. One time he hanged himself, got taken to the hospital, checked out physically, and they wanted to release him that same day. I had to beg the doctors to keep him for an extra day, so I could rally family and find a way so that someone could watch him and keep him from further harm, while I could still work.

Here's hoping you have a nice, long bout of good health.

Helen A. (39)
Thursday June 2, 2011, 6:18 am
You have been thru some shit girl and it looks like it has made you a better person by getting to know who you are and you are right you can't change the world, you can only change yourself and did one hell of a good job, I'm proud of you. I am surrounded by bipolar people, me neice is and my older sister and I think that ya'll are a trip, you ake the world exciting and honest.
I have scar tissue wrapped around my small intestine and that is what gives me problems with my stomach, hard to make poo so I have to take pills for that regularlly, finally found some that work good for me, thank God!!
I also am on disability for my neck,back ptsd and finally had surgery on my neck in 09, didn't help at all only made the pain worse, so I suffer alot worse now.
I really enjoyed reading you sharebook Tracey and hope to see your comments on Care2 more now that I know who you are....see you in the funny pages my girlie friend....take care of you!!!


Tracey O.
female, age 42, committed relationship, 1 child
Alex, AA, USA
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