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Dec 18, 2011

who am i? what am i supposed to be doing? why am i here? why so few connections with like people? i really don't understand these things. and i 'd truly like some answers. but i've found there are so few. it's not like i can look around and just find someone like me. i can't just ask somebody hey, what is my purpose? i  know. i've tried. and when i try to search, absolute lack of trust and a feeling of vulnerability are overwhelming. when anxiety and panic exist before even trying to figure out how to find someone, searching farther is not going to happen. so i just try to avoid the dark feelings and stay level.

the dark is not where i want to be.

though it's pull can be quite strong.

one could sink there,

some say, effortlessly.

but that feeling is very wrong.

it is a bad place for those like me,

who live within the LIGHT.

for those who live with empathy,

and feel vibrations all day long,

it wears upon my conscious.

it wears upon my soul.

it makes my ears ring with thunder,

it makes my eyes see lights.

always praying that the GREAT ONE

will keep me aways in HIS LIGHT.

it's hard to stop the feelings,

the skin crawling, the skin tingling,

the skin feeling way too much.

the thoughts processing so quickly,

they may as well be gone.

the troubles of another,

weigh upon me night and day.

so i ask the SPIRITS once again,

please stay.

i ask my GOD please love me

even when i lose the way.

i'm not sure i like this one. i do feel a sense of just a little lightening.

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Posted: Sunday December 18, 2011, 11:36 pm
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peggy p.
female, age 59, divorced, 2 children
Springfield, MO, USA
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