Long has been the notion that the mix between American women and Arab/Muslim men is one of misery and great upset in their lives. When American women would have not otherwise considered marriage with an Arab/Muslim. Due to school or other social engagements their paths crossed.
Many true experiences are common in blogs written by American women spilling their experience for all to read. The problem lies with these American women are not Muslim and do not know how to differentiate between a pious good Muslim husband prospect and a bad prospect. In general everything that is normal to them in America like dating, sex outside of marriage, partying, drinking alcohol, mixing with the opposite sex- is wide spread normal American life, yet they do know how this is really a lethal mix. Certainly prayer 5 times a day is not key determining factor for a great Muslim husband, but it is a part of a mix of traits that will help the American women know that he is generally a good guy and okay to consider marrying him.
What do Arabs think about American women? It’s not good. One Arab stated, “100% of American women are bad.”
It is important to realize that your future Arab/Muslim husband has notions about American women that they cannot be trusted for the life of them. Another notion is they are all sex hungry and will not be loyal in a marriage. That every Muslim around you will suspect he married you for a Green Card and even if they smile in your face they will think this automatically. He may have often been raised in such a pure society where trusting everyone is given no thought and then he lands in America and he realizes that trust level just does not exist even with his Arab buddies. How does his friends influence him? His friends will strongly discourage him marrying you, especially if you have children from a previous marriage. A pious Muslim man will know that if he marries an American and helps to raise your kids that it is a great blessing.
Arabs/Muslims know that Arab/Muslims men general intention is to marry based on gaining a Green Card and that is one of the large reason why an Arab may choose you as his wife. Do all Arab men marry based on this intention? No, certainly there are many happy healthy marriages. I can think of far more happy marriages of real life marriages where Americans and Arabs were married, some for as long as 30 years.
What should American women in general know about choosing an Arab man as her husband? She will be well informed that if he has sex outside of marriage, he is committing a grave sin in his religion. If he parties by mixing freely with the opposite sex, drinks alcohol, hugs you, kisses you, talks to you online about showing your body to him or his to you, wants to talk about sex, wears gold jewelry, wears silk, sleeps with you, appears in all respects as a “Play Boy.” He is a bad catch! Stay away from him at all costs.
You may enjoy all these activities with him but when you marry he may stop all these which you will feel a sense the fun of life has stopped or you will feel he is too controlling. Or he may never fully settle down with you and act as a “Playboy” even while married. Causing you great upset in your marriage maybe even divorce with kids in tow over tiny disagreements.
The great catch of a Muslim man does exist but the American woman may not really know which characteristics can lead her to a more fulfilling happy and joyful marriage. These traits are he is never alone with you unless there is a third person which knows either one of you. He will never ever have sex with you outside of marriage; he will never ever socialize with the opposite sex whether online or in person. He will never ever drink alcohol, attend a party where women dance and drink alcohol. He will never ever forget his prayers 5 times a day with much concern for the timeliness of his prayers. He will lower his eye gaze to the ground as he walks past people in a crowded area. He will never accept a too friendly female as a means to appeal to whatever her loose morals may be. He will only have intention to marry you if he is speaking to you to get to know your character, religion, and your intention. He will not have a lot of Muslim friends who are not good Muslims. He will mix only with like-minded Muslims. He will dress modestly. He will fast in Ramadan. He will never have a quick temper, or be crazy suspicious that you are doing something wrong when you are not. He will never have tattoos or earrings. These are the basics and IF you see just one of these, it is a BIG sign he will NOT be a good Muslim husband to you! There will be troubled seas ahead and sail with much caution.
Should Americans marry Arabs? Yes, certainly they can, but it is one which caution needs to be thrown to the wind. Why? Even if he is all that makes him a great husband there is a huge cultural difference. Even when the American woman adopts Islam as her religion. It is a tough road to travel on. An American–Muslim woman, Rahma in Mississippi once said, “I do not know how can a Muslim man can successfully marry a non-Muslim woman, how they make it work!” There is no marriage without some issues, but with divorce on the rise and the great need for spouses to maintain a larger need for patience in their marriage in these impatient times. If you don’t have a lot of patience, better not marry an Arab. If you do not believe in Islam as a way of life better not marry an Arab/Muslim or vice versa!
There are happy marriages between Arabs and Americans, but it’s a unique one that can stand the test of time. And Allah (swt) knows best.
* Muslim men are not all Arab, so with any nationality and Muslim, it is forbidden for Muslims to marry based on a reason for obtaining a Green Card. Yet so many bad Muslim do this and you will never know his intention until divorce papers are issued.